Worlds apart
In medieval days, a peasant has no standing in society according to the nobles So then why does Sir Ackles suddenly take an interest in peasant-boy Jared? Is it Jared's dream finally coming true, or something else...?
8,000 words, PG-13, hurt!Jared, hint bottom!Jared.
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I hold you in my arms, yeah that's when it starts
I seek faith in your kiss and comfort in your heart
I taste the seeds upon your lips, lay my tongue upon your scars
But when I look into your eyes we stand worlds apart
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1527
The first time Jared laid eyes on Jensen, he was fourteen, just hitting the awful teenage years. He had just beaten Chad at a stick-fighting match, and was busy wiping the sweat off his brow with the sleeve of his tunic when the sound of horses’ hooves filled the air. He looked up just in time to see a man seated astride a proud stallion, its black coat sleek and glistening in the sunlight. Equally as beautiful, the man sat, broad shouldered and head held high, his every movement graceful.
It was like being witness to perfection.
Chad kicked him in the shin, startling him out of his open-mouthed stare, and hissed, “What the hell are you doing?”
“What?” Jared had asked distractedly, his slightly dazed eyes following after the rider,
A punch to his shoulder brought him smashing down to earth, and he hissed back, “What was that for?”
Rolling his eyes with a sigh, Chad got out, “You can’t just go around staring at nobility, Jay. People get beheaded for less.”
“Oh…” Jared said dumbly. “Nobility…” When he gazed back down the road, there was only a faint dusty haze left in the man’s wake. He hung his head, “Oh.”
Chad poked him in the shoulder with a stick, and a few moments later they were back to stick fighting.
When Chad won for the first time since they were five, neither of them said anything about it.
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By the time Jared was seventeen, not much had changed besides him. He still worked in the fields with all the other peasants, he still helped his mother with things around the house, he still beat Chad at fighting – but with swords this time – and he was still in love with Jensen.
He had always hoped that he would grow out of it. But he hadn’t. He had grown in height and in width around the shoulders, he was a man now (or at least he hoped he was), but the stupid things he felt for Jensen were still there.
It didn’t help that Jensen was always big news – won this tournament or that, charmed so and so queen, attended this dance with that lady, and more. Nearly every time Jensen so much as breathed, someone would hear about it and gossip would spread to Jared’s unwilling ears.
Jared knew it was stupid and foolish and pathetic to feel the way he did, but he had tried everything and it still hadn’t chased his feelings away. And what hurt most was that, while Jensen was Jared’s world, Jensen had never even heard of or so much as glanced in Jared’s direction. Jared was invisible to the nobleman. Invisible to the one he practically worshipped.
So, yeah, it hurt.
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1531
Just before his eighteenth birthday, Jared’s mother fell ill. Feverish and shaking, she was bedridden while the local doctor looked her over.
The man eventually left, shaking his head, only giving Jared the advice to “make her as comfortable as possible until the end”.
It was the hardest time in Jared’s life. He spent his days ploughing fields and tending the livestock, and his nights were spent at his mother’s bedside, caring for her.
What made it even worse was that the tithe was due in three days and Jared had nowhere near the amount the lord was demanding, not after paying the doctor. If he didn’t have enough, they would be cast out of their house and his mother would never survive that.
So Jared worked, never sparing a moment for himself. He had to get enough, had to help his mother get better – despite what the doctor said, Jared knew his mother was strong enough – and he had to keep going.
Chad was helping as much as he could, but his family also had their debts to pay.
It was so unfair, Jared thought as he watched the nobles ride past, clean and comfortable on their steeds, why did Jared and the rest of the peasants have to give their hard-earned crops to the church, to the nobles, when they needed food themselves. The upper class was wealthy: Jared had even heard that there were huge storerooms, filled with every kind of food imaginable, there whenever the nobles felt hungry.
He rubbed a hand across his flat stomach, feeling the familiar growl within. He had forgotten what it was like not to be hungry, it must be a wonderful feeling. Sometimes he hated God for not letting him and his mother be born in an upper class family.
With a sigh, he picked up the wooden hoe and resumed his work, ignoring the sweat drenching him and ignoring the sounds of carefree laughter as more nobles passed by on horseback.
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He caught sight of the lamb just as it disappeared into the leafy undergrowth, and he let out a weary sigh. It was the last thing he needed right now.
Grabbing a nearby stick, he took off at a run after the truant sheep.
Five hundred strides later, a faint cry reached his ears and he changed direction instantly, running towards the sound. He broke into a clearing that, at first sight, appeared desolate, but then he realized it was more of a marsh.
There was another weak cry, and his eyes fell upon a tiny figure on the opposite end of the clearing: a small woman, shoulder deep in the mud; head barely above the surface.
Without another thought, he clutched the stick tightly in his hand and began to weave his way towards her.
It was absolutely terrifying, knowing that at any moment he could end up in the clutches of the treacherous mud, but, squaring his jaw, he forced himself to keep going. Using the stick to test for the safest route, he mapped his way towards her.
By the time he finally reached the flailing hands, his body was aching, especially his legs from constantly having to fight to free them.
“Ma’am,” he gasped out between breathes, “Grab the end of this and hold on as tightly as possible.”
Once she had a secure grip, Jared dug his feet in the barely solid ground and pulled.
The hold the mud had on her was so strong, it was like trying to uproot a tree. He was shaking with exertion when, with a loud, squelching pop, she came free, sending him sprawling backwards with a groan.
Instead of just laying there like he so dearly wanted to do, Jared got to his feet and held out his hand for the lady, “We’d better move before it gets us both.”
Once they had worked their way back out, the woman turned to Jared and began thanking him profusely.
“Oh, no, ma’am; anyone would have done the same. I’m just glad I was here in time.”
She smiled at him, her pale blue eyes glittering. “Name your greatest desire and it shall be yours,” she murmured softly, her voice causing goosebumps to break out on his skin.
“I…” he stammered, realizing she was the witch who was rumored to roam the woods. “I… my mother… she is ill… If you could…”
“Consider it done,” the women murmured. “But that is a selfless request, is there nothing you wish for yourself?”
Jared shook his head, “My mother has raised me on her own, she has worked to keep me alive, there is nothing I wish for more than for her to be well again.”
With another smile, the women raised her hand to his forehead, brushing her fingers over his face. For a split second her eyes went dark, but, when she pulled her hand back, they were pale blue again.
“Goodbye, Jared.” Without another word, she strode off into the depths of the forest, leaving him gaping after her as he tried to remember whether he’d told her his name.
His heart began thumping painfully against his ribs, and he ran all the way back to his house.
He found his mother sitting up in bed, her eyes clear and her face a healthy shade of pink. With a choked-off sound, he threw his arms around her, hugging her tightly to his chest.
“It’s a miracle,” she whispered and Jared couldn’t bring himself to tell her different.
His thoughts turned towards the lady of the forest, and he thanked her with all his heart.
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The next few hours were spent filling his mother in on everything that had happened in the time that she had been sick.
Jared was just so dizzy with happiness, that when there was a knock on the door, he leapt up to open it, and thought he saw Jensen standing there. With a squeak, he slammed it shut.
After a few seconds of breathing calmly, he steadied himself and opened the door to apologize to whoever it was.
But it was Jensen, again. The knight raised a perfect eyebrow and Jared nearly died. “S…Sir,” he managed to whisper, staggering back a step.
The man raised his hands, and Jared realized for the first time that he was carrying a lamb – the missing lamb.
“I do believe this is yours,” Jensen said, voice low and deep, just like Jared had always imagined it.
Flushing, Jared nodded, “Erm, yeah… I mean, yes, Sir. It went missing this morning. Thank you for being kind enough to find it, Sir. Is there anything we can do to repay you?”
Jensen cleared his throat and Jared barely managed to tear his gaze away from the tempting throat bobbing up and down. “There is, actually.”
Jared’s heart sank as he thought of the tithe that he had barely managed to meet, and began to work out how many lashings he would get for not paying the full amount when their turn came. But it was Jensen, Jared would do practically anything for him.
“Anything, Sir.”
“Spend tomorrow with me.”
Jared’s head snapped up, before he immediately dropped his gaze again, sure he had misheard. “Sir?”
“I am going riding up in the north quarter. I could do with a companion.”
“I…” Jared hoped Jensen couldn’t hear how loudly his heart was thumping. “Of course, Sir. Anything.”
“Good,” Jensen spun around, calling over his shoulder, “Be ready by sunup.”
Gaping after the man, Jared could only watch as Jensen easily swung up on his stallion and rode off into the distance.
Then he sagged against the doorframe, wondering what had just happened.
“Who was it?” his mother called from the back of the hut.
“It was… it was Jensen…the son of Lord Ackles…”
“Sir Ackles, what did he want? We’re not in trouble are we?” she turned from the tiny oven, her face pulled into a worried frown.
“No… he was just…” Jared held up the lamb, “He brought this back.”
“How did he know it belonged to us? There are hundreds of folk in the area with the same stock as us, and there’s no way he would know our marking.”
Jared gazed down at the green ‘P’ on the lamb’s flank, the symbol that let all the neighbors know which animals belonged to the Padalecki household. His mother was right: there was no way Jensen could have known.
“I don’t know.”
“Well did he say anything else?”
“He… uh… he wants me to join him tomorrow…”
His mother gaped at him, “But why would he want that?”
Jared’s spirits sank further, “I don’t know. I’m just a peasant, right? I have no idea why he’d want me to ride with him.”
“Oh, baby,” his mother soothed, fiddling with his hair, “Anyway, it’s a good thing Old Dennis taught you how to ride last summer, isn’t it?”
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By the time the sun rose, Jared was in a panicked state. More than half the night had been spent tossing and turning, wondering why Jensen wanted to see him. Jared wasn’t vain enough to think it was because Jensen liked the look of him, because, even if that was the reason, Jensen still wouldn’t have bothered, because, peasant – noble, did not work.
Jared woke ridiculously early to get ready, spending ages down by the stream, scrubbing himself, then spending ages adjusting his clothes, which was pointless as he only had one set.
He was moments away from hyperventilation when there was a knock on the door and Jensen was there.
As usual, he looked absolutely stunning, and Jared stuttered under his gaze. Seconds later they were outside, on horseback, heading north. Jared swallowed, shot a glance at Jensen, and hung his head, wondering why he was here.
Maybe there was work up in the north quarter that Jensen wanted done. Yeah, that was probably most likely, Jared thought sadly. Why would Jensen want anything else from him?
“What’s your name?” Jensen asked softly.
“Oh… it’s… it’s Jared, Sir. Jared Padalecki.” And that was just another slap-in-the-face reminder of Jared’s importance, or lack thereof.
“Jared Padalecki,” Jensen repeated. “So, Jared, what do you like to do in your free time?”
“Free time, Sir?” Jared shook his head slowly, “I don’t have much of that. But when I was younger I used to spend my time in the forests.”
Something dark passed across Jensen’s face, but it was gone a second later. “The forests, huh…” he nodded. “And how is it that you ride so well?”
Feeling his face heat up at the complement, Jared replied, “I assisted Squire Dennis a while back. He was kind enough to teach me.”
“How old are you, Jared?”
“Eighteen summers, Sir.” He adjusted his grip on the reins, so scared of doing something wrong, saying something wrong, that would cause Jensen to grow angry.
“Do I make you uncomfortable?” Jensen asked softly, his leg brushing against Jared’s as he nudge his horse nearer.
“No…no, Sir…” Jared’s gaze fell to the mane of his horse, “I am merely wondering what the reasons are for my being here.”
“You do not wish to be here?”
“No, of course not, Sir. I am confused as to what assistance you require of me in the north quarter. I have never been there, Sir. I do not know that I shall be of any help.”
Jensen chuckled softly. “The north quarter is a beautiful place. And you make a beautiful companion.”
Wide eyed, Jared stared over at him, feeling his cheeks burn beneath the man’s gaze.
“Sir?”
After glancing around, Jensen whispered, “When we’re out here, you can just call me Jensen.”
“I… yes, Sir… I mean, yes, Jensen.”
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“And then Master Ted came in, saw us covered in mud and clutching his apples, but instead of realizing it was us, he ran out yelling about the demons of the afterlife stealing his fruit,” Jared finished with a grin.
Jensen burst out laughing, a free laugh that echoed around them and made Jared feel like he’d won the best prize in the world.
“Chad sounds like a good friend.”
With a fond smile, Jared nodded, “Yeah, he’s been my best friend since before I can remember. I don’t know what I would have done without him these past months.”
“Why? What happened?” Jensen asked softly, his concerned eyes seeking out Jared’s.
The smile fell from Jared’s lips as he stared unseeingly at the plains around them. It was the last thing he felt like talking about, but Jensen had asked, and no peasant was allowed to not reply to a direct question from nobility. Yet another slap on the face to bring him back to reality.
“My… uh… my mother was ill…” He bit his lip, tasting blood on his tongue. “It was just… it was hard….”
“What about your father?” Jensen asked gently, “Did he not-”
“My father is dead,” Jared interrupted him shortly, “He died when I was ten.”
“How did he…” Jensen trailed off.
Suddenly feeling sick, Jared stumbled to his feet, “He disobeyed a nobleman in front of the man’s lady. He was killed for it.”
Also getting to his feet, Jensen reached out, “I’m sorry…”
Jared hung his head as Jensen’s hand squeezed his shoulder, “No, I am the one who is sorry, Sir. Forgive me for spoiling your mood; I shall not forget my place again.”
He jerked as a warm palm slid over his cheek, and slowly raised his eyes to meet Jensen’s. Before he could figure out what was happening, Jensen’s lips were on his, Jensen’s hand holding his steady while the other slid around his waist, drawing him closer to the man.
“I want you to forget your place with me,” Jensen whispered hoarsely against his skin, brushing his lips down Jared’s jaw.
“S… Sir?” Jared squeaked, trying to pull back. “What are you doing?”
When Jensen’s arms just locked around his body, keeping them flush together, Jared couldn’t keep fighting. He sagged against Jensen’s firm body, letting the man deepen the kiss.
“You’re so beautiful, Jared. So innocent,” Jensen breathed roughly as he pulled away, running his thumb over Jared’s bottom lip. “Has anyone else touched you like this? Tell me I’m the only.”
“Only you,” Jared whispered shakily, gazing at the man, “Only you, Jensen.”
Breaking out into a smile, Jensen pulled him close, wrapping an arm around his shoulder as he guided Jared back towards the horses, “Come on, there’s a place I want to show you.”
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The following weeks past in a daze for Jared; he spent most of the day working in the fields with Chad, but in the evenings he wandered off with Jensen.
He had never been happier, Jensen was just so funny and sweet, he was everything that Jared had ever imagined and more. Usually their trips were through deserted areas, but Jared didn’t mind that, it made sense that Jensen would want to avoid gathering attention, and being seen with a peasant would definitely do that.
They hadn’t done much more than kiss, but Jared loved lying beside Jensen, feeling the warmth of their bodies pressed together as they talked about anything and everything as autumn leaves fell around them.
It was nearly time for the harvest, nearly time for the joyous part of the year when all their hard work was gathered in and revealed. There were great festivities coming up, even amongst the peasants, though the grand balls the nobles threw far outweighed them.
And then winter would arrive, bringing with it the biting cold. He shivered slightly, and jumped when he felt a warm arm slide around him.
“You okay?” Jensen asked gently, his eyes softening as they fell on Jared.
He could only nod and smile as Jensen pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead and pulled him closer.
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Jensen
“Where is she?”
The woman smiled, pale blue eyes glittering, “Oh, she is safe. You just worry about your task.”
“You daughter of Satan, I’ve done as you ordered. I wooed the boy, I even kissed him. I treated him like I do the finest of all ladies; he even believes I love him. What else am I supposed to do?”
“If you ever wish to see Lady Danneel again, you’d best mind your manners, knave. What I want is for you to continue wooing Jared, and I want you to take him to the upcoming ball.”
Jensen gaped at her, “But, he’s a peasant. I can’t take him there. Besides, he wouldn’t even want to come, he’d be so out of place, what would I tell him?”
“That you’re serious about your relationship with him, and don’t care who knows it.”
Letting out a frustrated sigh at how much acting he was going to have to do, Jensen glared at her, “And then Lady Danneel will be returned to me?”
“Yes,” she nodded.
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Jared
“Come to the ball with me?” Jensen whispered into his hair.
“What?” Jared squeaked, “Jensen…”
“Please? I want you to be there. I love you, Jared, and I don’t care who sees it.”
“But…” Jared’s face paled, “But, what will… I don’t even have anything formal to wear.”
Jensen silenced him with a soothing kiss, “Don’t worry, babe, I’ll organize everything.”
Biting his lip raw, Jared mumbled, “But I’ll embarrass you.”
Eyes filled with warmth, Jensen ran a hand through his hair, and pulled him close, “You could never embarrass me. I just want you at my side.”
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Jared was in a state of panic. Not only was he going to a ball, but he going as Sir Ackles’ partner, partner of the most sought after bachelor in the kingdom. And Jensen’s family was going to be there, and all of the man’s friends and fellow nobles.
His mother came in to fiddle with the new clothes Jensen had given him to wear. “You look amazing; he won’t know what hit him.”
“Mom…. What if…?” he trailed off.
“Don’t think like that, Jay. Sir Ackles obviously sees how special you are. If the rest of them don’t… well, it’s their loss.”
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Jensen
“Jensen, what on earth is going on in your head? Bringing a dirty peasant to a noble ball?”
“I have to, Chris,” Jensen hissed. “And keep your voice down: no one else knows he’s a peasant.”
“And you think they won’t know the second they lay eyes on him? You can’t disguise class.”
“Just wait ‘till you see him, he’s a damn sight finer than any noblemen I’ve met.”
“Well, I suppose he would have to be, for you to shag him. Even for Danneel I bet you wouldn’t go near the peasant boy if he was ugly.”
Jensen fought the urge to punch Chris, regretting the fact that he had told him everything, and muttered, “Just don’t mess everything up, okay? After tonight, the witch said she would give Danneel back. Then everything will go back to normal.”
“And where will the pretty peasant-boy be? Dumped like your usual trail of victims?” Chris’ eyes flashed.
Two years previously, Jensen had slept with Chris. It had been a drunken mistake, as he had no feeling beyond friendship for the man, but it was still an uncomfortable topic.
“I’ll give him some money for his mother. He’ll be fine,” Jensen replied, wishing he felt as nonchalant as he sounded.
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“Wow,” Chris breathed, gaze fixed on a spot behind Jensen’s shoulder, making him spin around.
There, on the stairs, a nervous look on his gorgeous face, was Jared. He was clad in the fine clothes Jensen had sent him, and Jensen had never seen anyone, male or female, look as enticing or innocent.
Without another word to Chris, Jensen made his way towards the youth, feeling a warm glow growing in his chest when Jared visibly lit up at the sight of him.
“Hey,” the kid whispered breathlessly, eyes meeting Jensen’s with adoration shining within them. “You look amazing.”
Jensen smiled, “Look who’s talking: you look absolutely perfect.”
The familiar flush spread across Jared’s cheeks, and Jensen laughed happily, “Come on, there’s someone I want you to meet.”
He shot a warning look at Chris, and then introduced them.
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“Mother, Father, this is Jared.” Jensen slid his hands around Jared’s waist, plastering himself to the man’s back, keeping him possessively close. It hadn’t escaped his notice how virtually everyone was watching his partner with heated eyes. It made him feel the tingle of pride glowing in his chest at the fact that Jared was here with him.
But then he’d catch Chris staring at them and would be reminded just why Jared was even here.
The guilt was making him feel ill.
“Are you okay?” Jared whispered, leaning back against his chest.
Tilting the man’s chin around for a soft, chaste kiss, Jensen smiled, “Yeah, I’m good. Do you want to dance?”
“I don’t know how.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Jensen laughed, marching them onto the dance floor and spinning Jared around. In the same fluid move, he drew the man back into his arms, holding him to his chest. His hands slid up to cradle Jared’s face, thumbs gently stroking at the blushing cheeks, and he closed the distance between them, needing to taste those gentle lips against his.
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Across the room he spotted Danneel’s best friend and felt guilt wrapping it’s tendrils around his heart once again. He’d told everyone that Danneel had gone to visit her uncle for a few months, so no one even knew she was missing.
He had to remember that all this was to get the love of his life back, Danneel and him were meant to be, he had known it from the moment he’d laid eyes on her.
Before he could disentangle himself from Jared, Rosemary spotted him with his arm wrapped around Jared, and her face darkened as she stormed up to him.
“Jared, why don’t you get us some drinks?” Jensen murmured, pushing Jared away and making his way towards the furious woman. “Rosemary, I need to talk to you,” he cut her off before she could begin her tirade and gestured towards the door.
Once they were outside and he’d checked around them, he began, “Danneel was caught by the witch who lives in the forests near here. I’ve been trying to rescue her.”
“By fraternizing with anyone who’ll go near you, I can really see the rescuing happening,” she snarled back sarcastically.
“Rosemary,” he began, speaking slowly. “You know how much I love Danneel, I’ve barely spoken more than seven words to her, but I know I love her. I am doing everything can to get her back.”
She looked at him, some of the anger seeping away, “What did the witch want?”
“Well, first she gave me a lamb and told me to walk out of the forest, towards the stream. She said that the first cottage I came to, I had to knock on the door and return the lamb. She said that the person who opened the door would be the one I had to woo.”
“Woo?”
“Yeah…” Jensen was silent for a long time before he could bring himself to speak. “That man I was with inside, he’s the one who opened the door.”
“He’s a peasant?” Rosemary gasped.
“Basically, in order to get Lady Danneel back from the witch, I had to woo this peasant boy, make him believe I loved him, and bring him to this ball. Danneel should be back tomorrow.”
Glass shattered behind them, and Jensen spun around to see Jared standing there, his face stricken. Jensen’s heart sunk at the raw pain etched across the kid’s face as he murmured shakily, “I bought drinks… Sir Ackles.”
“Jared…” Jensen got to his feet, reaching for the man.
Backing away, Jared’s eyes flickered up to his face, and Jensen saw the tears in the split second before Jared turned and ran out across the grounds, leaving the lights of the party behind him.
“Jared…” Jensen murmured again.
“Goodness, Jensen, you really know how to break a man’s heart, don’t you?” Rosemary got out with a chuckle. “Anyway, at least he’s just a peasant-boy. And, good thing he came to the party before he found out, so Danneel should be fine.”
Jensen swallowed thickly, “Yeah… good thing…”
“Did the witch say when she’d be back?”
“Who?” Jensen murmured, gaze still fixed on the darkness that had swallowed Jared.
“Danneel, of course. Your future wife.”
“Oh…” he replied numbly.
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Jared
Jared stumbled blindly through the forest, barely noticing as the branches tore at his skin; only when a thorn scraped across his cheek did he flinch. With warm blood trickling down the side of his face, he fell to his knees, head hanging low.
It had never been real. He doubled over and threw up every measly morsel he’d consumed.
Not a single moment of it had been real.
The past month had just been one lie after another. Jensen didn’t like him, not in any way. Jensen was just with him because his lady had been taken by a witch. Jensen didn’t care for him, and why should he? Jared was just a peasant-boy; just another of the workers who kept the nobles rich.
Jared should have listened to his dad, his dad who had been killed just for refusing to give a nobleman a fleece of warm wool. Jared had had a sister then, she had been four, and she had a whooping cough. The woolen fleece was hers. It was the warmest thing they had, but the nobleman took it and their father’s life anyway.
That night, eight winters ago, Jared and his mother had curled around his baby sister, trying to keep the cold from her. But her cough had only progressed.
His sister had died in his arms thanks to that nobleman.
Jared had never found out which noble it was, but he supposed it didn’t matter. Jensen had just proven that they were all the same.
“Never trust them, Jared. They use us to keep them fed and clothed, they use us without concern or regard. Never trust them.”
He slowly got to his feet, brushing the dirt off the knees of his outfit. There was a hollow pit inside of him, one that he had been setting himself up for since he first laid sight on Jensen.
How foolish could a person get?
Shaking his head self-depreciatingly, he turned towards his home, where he knew his mother would be waiting to hear how the night had gone.
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Jensen
Jensen woke with a pounding headache and a cramp in his neck. It took him a few seconds to realize that there was someone at the door of his room.
But instead of it being the one he hoped it to be, it was the maid. She looked up nervously. “Sorry, Sir Ackles, but this just came for you.” She handed him a bundle of clothes and backed out the room.
Cleaned and neatly folded, were the clothes Jared had been wearing the previous night. Jensen let out a soft sound and buried his face in the pile, inhaling the scent of Jared’s soap. He could almost imagine Jared here, warm and pliable in his hands, toned body stretched out beside him.
But then he blinked his eyes open and the illusion was gone.
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So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us worlds apart
And I miss you, yeah I miss you
So far away from where you are
I'm standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here
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Jared
“That bastard had better keep away from here,” Chad snarled. “If I ever see him again, I’m gonna-”
“Ignore him and not get yourself killed,” Jared murmured quietly, eyes lowered to the thatch he was repairing. “There’s no point getting angry, Chad. I should have known better.”
“Yeah, well,” Chad continued roughly, “How were you supposed to do that when you’ve been in love with him since you were fourteen?”
“My stupidity,” Jared muttered dully.
“Aw, Jay,” Chad mumbled, reaching out for the younger man, and pulling him into a hug. “Tell me what to do, man. Tell me what I can do to make it better.”
Jared sent him a wobbly smile, “You’re already doing it. Now, what do you say to letting me go before we fall through the roof to land on your poor unsuspecting mother?”
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Jensen
Yet another knock on his door disturbed him from his pathetic cuddling-Jared’s-clothes-on-the-bed-and-pretend-that-it’s-him sleep, and he stumbled from the bed with a groan. Yanking the door open revealed a beautiful, slender blonde who, barely a month ago, would have made him the happiest man in the world just by looking at him.
“Lady Danneel,” he murmured softly. “You are safe.”
She giggled, sending him a fake-shy glance from beneath long eyelashes, “All thanks to my hero, apparently. Rose told me all about it. I can’t believe you wooed a peasant for me.”
Jensen felt sick.
“And that evil woman who did this, she… she made me do things no lady should be forced to do. It was horrible, Jensen. I’m so glad you rescued me.”
He smiled weakly, “Yeah… me too…”
“I have spoken to my parents; they are unhappy that you lied to them, but they understand your need for secrecy. My father says my hand is yours, it merely needs to be finalized,” Danneel continued happily.
“Your… your hand?”
She just giggled prettily again, her blonde locks dancing as she fitted herself under his arm and gazed up at him. Jensen nearly went cross-eyed watching her reach up on her toes to kiss him.
“Yes, my hand…”
It was all wrong, her lips were sticky with make-up and she smelt of the latest fragrance. Her waist was tiny beneath his palms, and she just… wasn’t right.
She didn’t notice anything – why would she? She barely even knew Jensen – and curtsied just as perfectly before disappearing out the door.
This was what he’d always wanted, wasn’t it? To be married to the most beautiful lady in the kingdom. Who in their right mind wouldn’t want that?
With a sigh, he fell back on his bed, burying his nose in Jared’s clothes.
♥♥♥♥♥
Jared
Jared walked into the cottage just in time to hear, “…don’t tell Jared, whatever you do…”
He stopped, put down the beans he was bringing in for supper, and turned the corner. “Don’t tell me what?” he asked the two guilty faces.
Chad’s face crumbled, and he shook his head, “Jay, it’s better if you don’t know.”
His mother nodded in agreement, wringing her hands.
“Just tell me,” Jared got out with a sigh, wondering what could possibly make his life worse.
Looking as though he was delivering a death sentence, Chad got out reluctantly, “Sir Ackles and Lady Harris are to be wed tomorrow at noon.”
“Oh.” Jared turned around and walked out the cottage, ignoring the calls that chased him.
He walked and walked, following the stream towards the mountains. He could hear Chad following, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He just had to go – where to? He had no idea.
It seemed a fitting end when his foot got tangled in a root and he was sent sprawling, face-first into the dirt.
“Shit, Jay,” Chad murmured, instantly dropping to his knees beside him and helping him roll over. Jared just lay there uselessly as Chad dusted him off. Once that was done, Chad maneuvered Jared into a sitting position, and folded himself behind him, gripping the younger man against his chest, both their pairs of eyes locked on the trickling water beside them.
“Sorry, Chad,” Jared murmured eventually, leaning his head back against the man’s shoulder. “I’m just overreacting.”
Chad’s hold merely tightened as he held his best friend, wishing that Jared would just allow himself to be the one who needed support. Jared had always been the strong one, always the one who protected everyone else, always the solid one to lean on. Even when his father and sister died, Jared had still been the one who held his mother together and never allowed himself to break down in front of anybody else. Now it was Chad’s turn to be there and he was so scared of not being strong enough to help Jared through this.
“He doesn’t know what he gave up, Jay. You’re the best thing he’s ever had in his pathetic life; if he doesn’t realize that then he’s… uh… he’s…” Chad trailed off, searching for the right word to describe it.
Jared let out a choked half-laugh, half-sob, and squeezed Chad’s hand, “Thanks, man.”
♥
♥
Jensen
Jensen wasn’t sure how he got to where he was. Clad in his finest outfit, with his mother fussing beside him, in a carriage on his way to married life.
He’d always thought the day he married would be a happy one. He couldn’t have been more wrong.
With every bump the carriage went over, he felt hurling. Everyone was waiting for him, his bride was waiting for him.
He had never wanted to run from anything more.
When he stumbled out of the carriage, he could see the large group of finely dressed people waiting on the hilltop, where his mother was already hurrying.
With heavy feet and an equally heavy heart, he began to ascent.
“Jensen,” Chris appeared before him and tugged him to the side.
“What are you doing?”
“I think I should be the one asking you that.”
“Chris,” Jensen got out with a sigh. “What else am I supposed to do?”
“Jensen, I’ve known you a long time. And in all that time, I’ve never seen you look at anyone like you looked at Jared that night. Do you know how much I would love to see you look at me with even a quarter of that warmth?”
“Chris…” Jensen got out regretfully.
The man shook his head, “It’s okay, man. Just… the thing was… he was looking at you just the same way. That kind of… well, you don’t just give it up, man. Think about what you’re doing. Sure, I know you say you’ve loved Danneel for ages, but do you really want her to be the one you spend forever with? You really don’t feel bad for stamping all over Jared? You really don’t mind him hurting? Just answer those questions and decide where you need to be right now.”
“Chris…” Jensen murmured again brokenly, “What am I supposed to do. You’re right, what I feel for Jared is something I’ve never felt before, but it just… he is a peasant.”
“Is that all you see him as? Because if so, I guess you should head up to your bride.”
“No, of course he’s not just a peasant. What I mean is… how am I… a nobleman, supposed to marry a peasant? My parents will disown me, I’ll be kicked out the castle and my knighthood will be taken from me.”
With a dark expression on his face, Chris shrugged, “Whatever’s most important to you, I guess.”
And then Jensen was left standing there, halfway up the slope to his wedding.
But he was also halfway down.
He supposed if peasants could survive life outside the castle, he probably could too. And if he was with Jared, nothing could be that bad. Even though it was really cold at this time of the year.
Danneel would find another man, she was pretty enough.
A smile broke out on his lips for the first time since the ball.
♥♥♥♥♥
Jared
“No, no! I am not letting you into my house!” Jared’s mother’s voice roused him from his work, and he stumbled to his feet, already knowing who was at the door.
He soothed her with a hand on her shoulder and murmured, “Hush, mother. He could have us all killed for inappropriate behavior.” He turned to Jensen, not meeting his eyes, “What can I do for you, Sir Ackles.”
“Jared… Can I talk to you?”
“Regarding what, if I might ask, Sir?” Jared fought to keep his voice even.
“Please…”
Regretting every step, Jared followed the nobleman towards the stream.
“Jared….” Jensen started, “I am so sorry…”
The younger man blinked blankly. “There is no need to be, Sir. You were merely rescuing your lady. I am glad to hear she is well.”
“I… I miss you… Jared… Please… just… will you be mine again? I could not marry Danneel. The only one I want to be with is you. Forgive me, please?”
Jared stared at the man brokenly at the man. He looked so sincere, his eyes wide and pleading, as though he would die if Jared refused. It would have been so easy just to believe him, take him back, get to hold him again.
But then Jared remembered all the private moments they’d had, when Jensen had looked at him with such warmth in his eyes that Jared had never even imagined it to be fake.
And it had been. Jensen was just that good of an actor.
“I’m sorry, Sir Ackles. But I do not go out of my way to get burned twice by the same fire. Please do not return here.” And with that, Jared turned, making his way back towards his house.
♥♥♥♥♥
Jensen
Jensen stumbled through the forest blindly, wondering what he had done to deserve such punishment. Then he remembered exactly what he had done and wished a worse sentence on himself.
Jared had been broken. Barely holding himself together. And Jensen had been the cause of that.
When he stumbled upon a tiny cottage, he knew exactly whose house it was. He banged furiously against the door until the witch opened.
“Why?” he got out. “Why did you make me do that to Jared? He did nothing wrong. It was Danneel who crossed you, not him. Why did you make him suffer so? How could you do that to him? How could you make me do that to him? I love him, you witch! I love him so much it feels like I can’t breathe without him, and you took that away from me! Why?”
She silenced him with a sweep of her hand and dragged him inside.
“I cannot tell the future,” she began. “I can merely see potential. When Jared rescued me that day, he had so much potential to love. He’s loved you since he was fourteen, did you know that? When I saw your face, I knew I had to give him a chance with you. You would never have met him, let alone spoken to or even considered him had I not done as I did. I have given you a chance to be loved by him, it is up to you to regain his trust.”
“And how am I supposed to do that?”
“He needs proof of your feelings. This whole time, he believes you were faking emotion. You have to show him how wrong he is.”
“Like what?”
♥♥♥♥♥
Jared
“Jared?”
He looked up and instantly let out a low groan, wondering why life hated him so much. “Sir?”
“It’s Jensen, remember? Anyway, will you run away with me?”
“What?”
“Run away with me? There’s a small place in the north quarter that catches the sunset just right.”
“What… Je… Sir, you can’t just ask me to run away with you.”
“Why not? There will be a place for your mother nearby, and another house for Chad and his family if they wish to join, and for anyone else you want to come with us.”
Jared frowned at the man, “You just expect us to drop our lives? What about you, leaving the castle?”
The nobleman shrugged nonchalantly, “They kicked me out after I told them I’m in love with you. I’m no longer a knight either, so you’d better stop calling me sir.”
“But… what… I don’t….”
“I love you, Jared. I’m sorry for what happened, I’m sorry that you thought it was all a lie, but it wasn’t. I fell in love with you while trying to rescue a girl I care nothing for. I need you, Jared…”
“I… I don’t know…” Jared whispered, but Jensen stepped forwards anyway, brushing his lips over Jared’s, making the younger man’s breath hitch.
“I love you, Jared… please… just say yes.”
Dizzy and confused, all Jared could do was cling to the man and murmur, “Okay… okay…”
With a relieved laugh, Jensen squeezed the man against him, practically lifting him off the ground as he got out hoarsely, “Thank you.”
♥♥♥♥♥
Jensen
The sun beat down on his shoulders, the hoe was rough in his palm, and there was sweat trickling down his face, getting in his eyes, but Jensen had never been happier.
Honest work, with results that were tangible, was doing him good. He even found that food toiled for by his own hands tasted far nicer than any fine dish he’d been served before.
Or maybe it was just the company he kept now.
His whole life was different – for the better. When he saw passing nobles, he pitied them for missing out on what was important.
He straightened up and stretched, casting his eyes back at the field he’d just finished ploughing. He wasn’t going to lie, being a peasant was hard work. But the satisfaction he felt at doing a good day’s work was like nothing else.
Wiping the sweat from his brow, he turned towards the nearby field, immediately focusing on his lover.
Jared was squatting in the crops, digging up the weeds that circled the roots, and his hair was hanging forward, screening his face from Jensen’s view. A warmth like none other seeped into the older man, his whole body relaxing as he simply watched the movements of the gorgeous man.
He chuckled softly to himself as Jared’s hair bounced – as though the man had huffed out at it in frustration – and couldn’t hold himself back any longer.
Leaping over the tiny wooden divide, he silently sneaked up until he was barely a pace away. With a leap, he tackled the man, who let out a startled yelp as they rolled, only relaxing when he realized it was Jensen.
Sagging back against the ground, Jared shook his head with a fond smile, “And what might you want?”
Jensen shifted to straddle the man, pinning Jared’s hands above his head, and gazing down at him, a smile tugging at his lips.
“Hi…” he whispered, stooping closer to the man, their breath mingling.
Jared smiled up at him, eyes shining with soft warmth and trust. Jensen still couldn’t believe this man was his. His to hold and love and protect.
A rough hand slid over his jaw, cradling the side of his face, and he leaned into it, unable to take his eyes off Jared’s.
“You okay?” the younger man whispered softly, his thumb stroking patterns over Jensen’s cheek.
“Yeah…” he brushed his lips over Jared’s palm. “Just can’t believe I lived without this for all those years.”
He was tugged down against the man, into a slow, unhurried kiss, just lips sliding easily over each other. “I love you…” he breathed against the corner of Jared’s mouth.
Jared’s hands slid around him, curling behind his back, drawing him closer, fingers digging into his muscles. “You too, Jen…”
“Shall we go inside?” Jensen whispered, voice dropping to a low and husky tone.
“Hmm…” Jared hummed distractedly, his lips seeking Jensen’s, “What?”
Smirking slightly, Jensen pulled to his feet, dragging his lover along with him. He tugged the man in for another peck, nipping at his lip gently as his hands slid around the man, squeezing his tight ass before ducking to whisper again, “Let’s take this inside.”
Flushing a bright pink, Jared stumbled slightly, before getting out breathlessly, “Yeah… yeah, okay… Inside…”
Barely seconds later, Jensen was wrestling the man down onto the bed, yanking their clothes off as he went.
“So perfect, Jay…” he murmured, running his hands over the hard plains of his lover’s body. “Could stare at you forever.”
“Look… ahg… look who’s talking,” Jared gasped out, arching into the touch.
“You’re better than a lifetime of nobility, you know that?” Jensen whispered, his lips caressing Jared’s throat with every word. “Chris is always asking whether he can steal you and elope.”
“Oh?” Jared laughed, “What do you tell him?”
Running his eyes over Jared’s face, taking in the innocence and beauty, Jensen could only whisper, “I tell him if he tries to take you away, he’ll soon be signing up for a eunuch’s singing group.”
Jared snorted softly, shaking his head fondly. “You would, wouldn’t you? You really would.”
“Course I would. You think I’d give up your mother’s fresh bread for anything?”
He yelped at the smack that was sent his way, but managed to distract Jared by seizing his lips in a kiss once again.
Yeah, life was really good.
♥♥♥♥♥
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
♥♥♥♥♥
