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Twisted truths:

Jensen is a police officer who leads a case against Jared:  He woke in a cold sweat, Jared’s pleading, pain-filled eyes boring holes into his as he begged Jensen to stop hurting him. He felt sick with guilt. Or at least he did until he reminded himself that Jared was just a con-artist- that he had tried to use Jensen.

30,000 words, NC-17, hurt/comfort, abuse, violence, hurt!Jared, bottom!Jared

***

Jensen made a face at the foul, brown liquid that passed for coffee. He adjusted his jacket, caught in the uncomfortably hard, plastic chair, and forced down another sip of bitterness. A passing waitress leered down at him as she passed, wagging her hips in such a way that he felt the urge to laugh.

Rubbing a hand wearily over his face, he turned in his seat to stare out the greasy window. The rain had finally stopped, leaving everything cleaner, fresher. A few trickles ran down the fingerprinted glass, and he watched them for lack of anything better to do.

Returning his gaze to the outside world, a smile twitched at his lips as he watched people peer out their windows, peek out their doors, checking whether it was safe to venture out.

He should probably get going. As the recently promoted Sergeant Ackles, it wouldn’t do for him to be late on his first day, especially not after all the work it took to get him where he was. Moving from Richardson, where the biggest crime committed was underage drinking or the occasional use of Marijuana, to Dallas – which admittedly was still smaller than New York, where his pop had served, was a fair size for a small-town boy like him – was quite a change, and he had no intentions of letting his momma down.

Her parting words echoed in his head, “You show them, you show all of them who thought you’d never get there. You prove it doesn’t matter who warms your bed at night, make them see what their foolery has lost them. Prove them wrong and make your momma proud.”

And he was planning on doing just that.

The Dallas Chief of Police – Chief Morgan, had given him a chance, perhaps only because Jeff had served with his pop, which was likely despite Jeff’s insistence that he had heard tell of Jensen’s ‘adept talent and invaluable contribution towards making Richardson relatively crime-free at only the age of twenty-four’, but he had still ignored the non-recommendations from Jensen’s former colleagues back home.

It’s amazing how quickly your supposed friends can turn their backs on you. Jensen had learned, in the space of barely twenty-four hours that his friend-count was, instead of the twenty or so odd as he had previously thought, in truth an all time low of two.

Two friends out of at least twenty-five; two friends who hadn’t disowned him instantly after hearing rumours of his inclination towards members of the same sex; two friends who had defiantly defended him against the angry outburst of his once-upon-a-time best friend. So much for ‘best friends forever’.

After over twenty years of living in each other’s back pockets, spending every spare minute of every fucking day together, sharing gossip and rumours and swapping football cards, while hiding in their poorly made – but dearly loved – tree house, spending summers in the scorching heat, nights at each other’s houses, after everything, Jensen had decided to share his secret with Dave. His big secret, the one he had only ever shared with his momma – whispered in the dark hours of the night – he decided to tell his friend, whom he thought he knew well enough for him not to overreact.

It was the biggest mistake of his life.

Jensen downed the last of his coffee, slamming the mug on the filthy wooden table, and surveying the diner for the blonde bimbo.

She spotted him, and, swaying ridiculously from side to side, bending down seductively, giving him a plain view of her goods, asked, “What’ll it be, hon’?”

“Another one, please,” Jensen said, making sure to keep anything that might be mistaken for interest out of his voice.

She licked her lips, “Anything else you want with that?”

He shook his head, turning his gaze back out the window, “No, just the coffee, thank you.”

Jensen heard her huff, and then her masochistically high heels echoed as she walked away.

He let out a sigh, breath leaving a faint ring of mist on the glass. Lazily he dragged his finger through the condensation, drawing a heart. The moment he was done, he blushed, quickly wiping it away. Am I so fucking starved for love that I’ve been changed into a teenage girl?

He sighed and peered through the faint outline of the heart and out the window. Immediately his gaze fell upon a gorgeous young man with such an air of innocence about him that Jensen’s breath was momentarily stolen.

When his oxygen supply returned, Jensen began to survey the tall drink of water more closely. He couldn’t have been more than eighteen years old. He was tall, his eyes hidden beneath an adorable mop of brown bangs, and he was wearing a worn-looking shirt over his knee-ripped jeans, both hugging his figure in a manner that led Jensen to practically tip his mug of coffee – provided with a grumble from the ignored waitress – into his lap as he tried to take a blind sip.

Cursing and grabbing for napkins to wipe at his now brown-stained pants, he had to tear his eyes away from his new fantasy.

Once done, he quickly looked back out the window, smiling when he saw the man had not ventured out of sight. Deciding that it was unreasonable to worry about being late for work when it was only six in the morning – he had to be in the office by nine – he settled back in his seat as he drank in the precious sight. Not a bad way to start the morning, at all.

Then a frown creased his forehead as he made out that – upon closer observation – the man was noticeably shaking. His hands, as they clutched the thin material of his shirt’s hem, were trembling. The man must have been positively freezing.

Or at least that’s what Jensen thought, until the man shook his hair out of his eyes and Jensen caught sight of the worried, nervous –extremely nervous – expression marring the angelic face.

Hazel eyes were darting back and forth – much like a skittish colt, and the man’s tongue slid out quickly dampening his lips. Jensen sat up straighter, concern seeping through him. He hated the fact that there was something scaring this man so badly; the urge to protect him was overwhelming.

The young man was nervously moving back and forth, almost pacing the pavement on the opposite side of the road. Then suddenly – as if coming to a conclusion in his turmoil – he began moving, his long legs swiftly carrying him towards a white-haired old lady, who was waiting at the bus-stop, her workbag beside her and her purse clutched to her side.

Something in Jensen’s mind clicked, No, no! God, tell me he isn’t doing what I think he’s doing.

Jensen watched in slow motion as the young man snatched the black leather bag from the lady’s grasp, and broke into a run.

His mind let out a wail even as he got to his feet, threw money on the table, and raced out.

Why, oh, why? The one guy who I find myself attracted to turns out to be my potential first arrest! That’s a low blow, God, a very low blow.

Momentarily distracted by a large, brightly painted truck, Jensen crossed the road. He was just about to reach the bus stop when he saw something that stopped him in his tracks.

The young man was sprinting – which was to be expected from someone who had just stolen a purse – only he was sprinting back. Back towards Jensen and the old lady who was still frozen in shock.

Jensen’s curiosity took over, and he found himself watching in fascination as the man made his way back. There was no one else at the bus stop, just Jensen and the lady. The young man didn’t seem to even notice Jensen.

He was shaking, tears were pouring down his face as he stumbled over a crack in the pavement. He practically fell to his knees before the lady, “’m sorry, ’m so sorry. Please. Please forgive me. Please.”

Jensen felt his eyes widening in disbelief. This isn’t usual criminal behaviour. This isn’t how a thief’s supposed to act.

The sobbing man was holding out the purse to the old woman, held between trembling hands.

The lady looked as shocked as Jensen felt, and she cautiously took the bag from the young man’s outstretched hands.

Jensen watched, mouth hanging open slightly, as the man unsteadily got to his feet, his shoulders slumped, head hanging low, and took off at a clumsy run.

Snapping his eyes away from the retreating figure’s back, Jensen turned to the lady. “Is everything there?”

She unclasped the black leather, and peered inside. When she looked up again, her face was one of astonishment, “Yeah, it’s all there, my money, everything.”

I’ll be damned. What the fuck?

Bidding the lady goodbye, Jensen set off at a run in the direction the man had gone, deciding to humour his curiosity – at least for a while.

After about fifteen minutes of searching, Jensen was about ready to give it up, to just file it away as one of the weirder occurrences he had observed. He was just turning back when he caught a glimpse of a tall figure’s silhouette, seconds before it disappeared over the hill.

When Jensen reached the top of the small incline, he saw that the opposite slope led down to a park, in the centre of which was a small lake.

Raking his eyes over the greenery, searching for the object of his obsession, Jensen paused to ask himself whether this was worth it.

It was now nearing seven, and Jensen had yet to change his coffee-stained pants.

All logical thought fled him, however, when his eyes fell upon a figure, huddled at the foot of an old oak tree, quivering arms wrapped around itself.

Jensen’s chest felt tight and for some reason he wanted nothing more than to curl up around the trembling form, shield it and protect it from its nightmares.

Knowing he could do none of this, Jensen instead opted for kneeling before the man and saying gently, “Hey, are you okay?”

The young man jumped, scrambling backwards, and pressing himself against the bark of the tree. His eyes were wide, shimmering with fear, his cheeks were damp and his hair was sticking out in all directions.

Wish I could kiss him.

Knowing that was out of the question, Jensen instead said, “Its okay, I’m not going to hurt you. My name’s Jensen.”

The distrust and fear never even flickered from those hazel orbs and Jensen felt his heart clench at the knowledge that he was terrifying the young man.

He sat back on his haunches and sighed, “Look, I saw what happened back there...”

The eyes widened, and the young man tried to shuffle backwards even more. Jensen hated the fact that he had effectively trapped the man between the tree and himself, but knew that if he moved, the man would bolt and Jensen wouldn’t see hide or hair of him ever again.

He reached into his back pocket, pulling out his well-worn leather wallet, “Here, let me give you something. I think you need it.”

Shame welled in those heart-achingly beautiful eyes and the man cringed, his still-trembling body now tensed. His eyes lowered to stare blankly at his hands, held palm-up on his lap. Jensen followed the gaze, he too staring at the man’s dirt-smudged hands.

In the centre of one of them, was a small Polaroid, dirty, creased and worn at the edges. Jensen could vaguely make out a small girl’s smile. He raised his eyes, meeting the glistening ones.

He could see the silent battle taking place behind them. Likely the very same turmoil felt when the man had paced the pavement opposite the diner.

“Who is she?” Jensen asked softly.

The man flinched at the abrupt silence-breaking. Then in a shredded and wretched voice, whispered, “My sister.”

The man shuddered, and Jensen was suddenly aware of how cold it was. He quickly and unthinkingly took off his leather jacket and held it out to the man. “Here, you can borrow this.”

The hazel orbs blinked at him, Jensen rolled his eyes, “Scoot forwards.”

The man didn’t move, and Jensen shifted so he could nudge the man’s back away from the tree, before slipping the jacket around him.

The man looked down at the black leather, and then back up at him. Jensen slipped the money he had previously held out to the man, into the jacket’s pocket, before standing up.

Confusion swirled in the sea of hazel brown, and Jensen found he couldn’t tear his gaze away. Then the eyes dropped back to the man’s lap, and Jensen could move again.

In a hoarse voice, he got out, “Be here, tomorrow, five ‘o clock.”

Without waiting for an answer, he took off for his house at a jog, glad that he would be able to make it to work in time, despite the small detour for new pants.

*

His new workplace was absolutely awesome. His partner – Chad – was, despite being a bit of a douche, not that bad at all. Jeff, or rather, the Chief (as Jensen must now call him) was almost fatherly in the way he handled the sergeants, and Jensen was thrilled to realise he was included.

He met Mike and Tom, who were partners as well, and despite Mike’s quirks, Jensen got on really well with them. They made him comfortable, in a way that years hadn’t been able to do in Richardson.

Jensen was given a brief outline of what was expected from him, and what regions he and Chad were assigned to, and then he was given the grand tour, first of the station, and then of the town.

Chad kept him entertained with hilarious comments and mentions of past incidents that had Jensen wondering on the sanity of a certain Sergeant Rosenbaum. When he learned that it was Mike, he chuckled, “Oh, no wonder.”

Chad grinned, “And that’s where he scaled the fence,” he coughed, “um, that is to say, attempted to scale the fence, while we all just went through the arch.”

“Hey,” whined Mike coming up behind them, “I didn’t see the arch, okay?”

Tom rolled his eyes from beside him, “If you say so.”

Mike elbowed him, “Hey! You’re supposed to be on my side. What kind of a partner are you?”

Tom grinned, winking at Jensen to indicate that this was usual banter, “One of a kind, baby, one of a kind.”

Jensen exchanged grins with Chad, and by the time they made it back to the station, he had joined in their comfortable teasing and joking.

Despite all this, Jensen found his thoughts straying frequently to the long-legged, hazel-eyed, absolutely edible young man.

That evening, while Jensen was pottering about his house cooking supper, he found it impossible to get the tormented eyes out of his mind. He wondered what the owner of those hazel orbs was doing, whether he was warm enough, safe enough, whether he was with his sister, where they were, where their parents were, whether he was even going to show up the following morning.

Growing weary of his own thoughts and obsessions over this young man, Jensen settled before the TV.

And Hurricane Eliza has now progressed to – he switched channels, Come to McDonalds and get your – he flicked the button again, and again and again, until finally, with a frustrated groan, he settled down at his desk, pulling out the stack of paperwork that needed filling in.

The phone rang after a few long hours, “Hello?”

“Jenny! How you doing up there in big ol’ Dally?”

A grin spread over Jensen’s face, “Chris!”

“Yup, just phoning to check that your first day was good, Steve’s here as well, he told me not to mother you so much. And that you’re a big boy and can take care of yourself.”

Jensen chuckled, “And le’ me guess… you told him to go screw himself and phoned anyway?”

Jensen heard the laughter of his two friends, possibly his only true friends, and felt instantly lighter.

They chatted to him on speaker so they could both interrogate him about his first day. Despite Steve’s teasing of Chris, he was just as much a mother hen as the other man. Jensen told them a bit about the town, his colleagues at work, but paused as he deliberated whether or not to tell them about Jared.

Deciding he didn’t yet want to share Jared with anybody else, not even Chris and Steve, he steered the conversation towards the atrocious beating that the Mavs had taken in their recent match.

An hour or so later, Jensen reluctantly said goodbye, then, he dialled another number.

“Hello?”

“Hey momma!”

“Oh, my baby, how are you? I’ve been waiting all day for you to call, how is it there? How’s the station? Were you assigned a nice partner? Did you eat enough supper?”

Jensen laughed, settling down on the couch as he prepared to be mother henned again.

When he finally hung up, he was exhausted; he showered quickly, before crawling into his new bed. It was nice and soft, far too large, but comfortable nonetheless.

His last thought was: He’d make it perfect, and then dreams of a shaggy-haired, long-legged, hazel-eyed figure claimed him.

*

The alarm sounded shrilly in his ear. Letting out a groan, he smacked out in what he hoped was the general direction of the confounded thing. All that served to do was to knock it to the floor, where it continued its unwanted tune even more loudly.

With a frustrated grunt, he reached down – coming dangerously close to ending face-down on the carpet – and picked it up. Through bleary, not even half-opened eyes, he made out the brightly flashing: 4:00.

“Fuck!”

Someone must have tampered with the bloody thing; Jensen knew he only had to be at work at nine. He carelessly tossed the clock off the bed and was just snuggling back into the warmth when a sea of hazel entered his mind.

Sitting bolt-upright, Jensen scrambled out of bed so quickly that he ended up tangling himself in the blankets and ended up in a bundle on the floor.

Cursing and hopping about on one leg as he tried to untangle himself, he finally managed to make it to the bathroom.

Why the fuck am I so nervous?

He examined his face in the big mirror that covered an entire side of the not-so-tiny room. His green eyes stared back at him.

What is it about this guy? I don’t even know him, for fuck’s sake. What the hell’s happening to me?

The sleep-mussed figure just blinked. Jensen let out a chuckle, wondering what he had been expecting. He tugged off his clothes, shivering at the loss of warmth and stepped into the spacious shower. Turning the metal faucet, he let out a gasp as the icy cold water hit his skin.

Now fully awake, his thoughts were filled with unwanted images about lithe and lean figures and he began to feel mightily grateful for the freezing water.

Half an hour later, he was hopping around trying to keep himself warm while he tried to decide what to wear.

Catching sight of himself in the mirror, Jensen blushed.

What am I, a girl going on her first date?

Rolling his eyes at himself, he blindly grabbed some clothes from the pile before him.

He pulled them on, not trusting himself to even glance in the mirror before he left the room, grabbing his wallet, cell and keys from the table on his way out.

He checked his watch - pleased at being on time, and congratulated himself for only running slightly late as he made his way to the park. The truth was, he was excited; he was actually looking forward to seeing this strange enigma that had filled his dreams throughout the night. It was more than just curiosity. Jensen didn’t really know what it was.

He bit down on the surge of disappointment that welled up in him when there was only an empty space before the tree.

Gnawing at his bottom lip, wondering if he would never see the man again, he tried to convince himself that it was only because he wanted his jacket back that he was so upset. He’d never liked that jacket, but that didn’t stop him trying.

Dejectedly, he made his way down the green slopes to the shimmering water. There were a few ducks splashing about noisily, and he sat heavily on the wooden bench. He wondered why it mattered to him, why the young man meant so much to him. The man could be some deranged serial killer, for all he knew.

Can’t even rob an old lady, what are his chances of ever killing someone? Jensen found himself thinking fondly. Then he cursed himself, he didn’t know a thing about this guy, and it wasn’t like he wanted to anyway.

If that was true, then the heavy feeling in Jensen’s chest was completely unjustified. And if that was true, then he had also suddenly developed a great affinity toward ducks, seeing as he hung around for over two hours, just watching them.

*

“Dude, what’s up with you?” A whiny voice broke through his thoughts.

“Huh?” Chad’s face was way too close for Jensen’s liking.

“Did something happen, man? You’ve been moping all day.”

Jensen was touched at the fleeting and uncharacteristic concern on the other man’s face. He shook himself. “Sorry, I’m a bit out of it.”

He returned his gaze to the signpost they were passing, glad when he realised that his shift was nearly over.

“Be careful, man or I’ll set Tom loose on you.” Chad threatened.

Jensen smiled, Tom was – as Jensen had quickly learned – the empathetic one of the group, the lets-talk-about-feelings man.

When they finally pulled up outside the station, Jensen quickly said his goodbyes and then set off down the road.

All he felt like doing was collapsing in front of a TV and eating a tub of ice cream.

He groaned. Like a freaking girl after a breakup.

He traded the ice cream for pizza – his one declaration of manhood – but wound up moping on the couch nonetheless.

So what if he didn’t show? It’s not like it was a date or anything. It’s not like he fucking stood me up.

He sighed and sank further into the comfy cushions; he flicked his gaze to the face of Brad Pitt on the screen.

Awesome: hot guys, guns, things going ‘boom’, what else could I possibly need?

He ignored the image of adorable bangs hanging over hazel orbs, and took a large bite of the cheesy pepperoni pizza.

*

When he was brought – cursing and swearing – back into the world of the waking, it took him a moment to realise that he hadn’t removed the alarm. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he rolled over and tried to get back to sleep.

Usually he could lose consciousness at the drop of a hat. ‘Usually’ was not today. Half an hour later he found himself – showered, and dressed – heading out his front door.

It wasn’t at all surprising that he was heading towards the park.

I like the ducks after all. They’re… um, cute?

He made his way over the hill, eyes darting towards the tree, before starting down towards the lake. Then he stopped.

Turning slowly, he returned his gaze to the tree. His heart gave a little jump. There, at the foot of the oak, was a bundle, his bundle.

Jensen grinned at his own delirious happiness, and he began to make his way toward him.

When he was a couple of trees away, he realised something was wrong. The bundle was still, too still.

He knelt before the shape, and reached out to touch the man’s shoulder. Instead of the jump that Jensen was expecting, the man remained motionless. Then slowly – painfully slowly – the man’s head began to rise.

Jensen jerked backwards at the sight of the young man’s face, there was a layer of dirt, and something darker than Jensen couldn’t name, coating his cheeks. His eyes were puffy and he looked like he hadn’t slept all night - his skin pale and sallow.

The wide eyes were filled with fear, and with trembling fingers, the man raised a black bundle that he had been cradling in his lap. Jensen realised it was his jacket, and tentatively took it from the outstretched hands.

“Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.” The man began to mumble, tears pouring down his face, leaving damp trails through the dust.

Jensen shook out the leather, and cursed when he saw what state it was in.

What the hell?

The back of the jacket was shredded - large cuts criss-crossed over it.

“What the fuck? Why did you do this?”

The man trembled at the harsh tone in Jensen’s voice, he felt bad – really he did – but he just didn’t know how to react. He had leant this man a jacket, and the man had cut it to pieces. How the hell was he supposed to react?

The man was still carrying on with his mantra of apologies, and in a flash of anger Jensen grabbed the man by the shoulder and shook him roughly, “What the hell is the matter with you? Why the fuck did you cut this up?”

He was squeezing the man’s shoulder, but he knew he wasn’t squeezing hard enough to justify the man’s cries of pain.

He snatched his hand back, “Jesus, what the hell’s wrong with you?”

The man just began rocking back and forth, sobbing like he was in pain. Jensen finally came to the conclusion that this man was crazy. It was all he could come up with.

Or all he could come up with before he glanced down at his hand. There was a smear of something red, red and sticky. Realisation hit him, and he quickly spun the unresisting man around.

“Jesus, fuck!”

Dark stains of red scourged the material of the man’s thin shirt.

Jensen raised the hem slightly - wincing at the quiet sobs of pain that the man was making – and let out a stream of murmured curses when he saw the state of the man’s bare back. It was much like the state of his leather jacket.

Letting the shirt drop down, he fell back on his ass. “Who did this to you?”

The man just kept his tear-streaked face turned away from Jensen. He was still mumbling apologies.

“Come on, we need to get you to hospital,” Jensen used his softest voice, not wanting to scare the young man any more than he already had.

The man turned red eyes to Jensen, pleading, “I… I can’t.”

“The fuck you can’t, look at the state you’re in.” Jensen cursed himself when his abrupt tone caused the man to quiver in fear.

“Please… I can’t…”

Jensen knew that the man needed to be treated by a doctor, so – hating himself all the more for it – in a commanding tone he said, “Get up.”

His eyes widened in pure terror, but the man scrambled shakily to his feet, as though afraid of what Jensen would do if he disobeyed. Nausea filled him at the knowledge that it was him who the man was currently terrified of.

He gently laid a hand on the man’s arm, steadying him and in a soft voice said, “I’m not going to hurt you, but we need to get you checked out.”

The man was trembling beneath his touch, but he allowed Jensen to steer him towards the – thankfully nearby – hospital.

Jensen tried to keep them from tumbling to the ground; the man was so terrified that he wasn’t even walking straight. Letting out a relieved sigh when the large white building came into view, Jensen gave the man – what he hoped was – a comforting smile. The hazel eyes just stared back, large and accusing, causing Jensen’s gut to wrench uncomfortably.

He gave his own name to a friendly-looking receptionist – not knowing the man’s name – and she pointed them towards the row of seats, “I’ll have someone see to you as soon as possible.”

Jensen gave her a grateful smile, and sank in one of them, tugging the man down after him.

The man let out a whimper when his back – due to the tugging – came in contact with the hard, wooden chair-back. Jensen clenched his jaw, hating himself for not being more careful. He tried to convey how sorry he was, but the man wasn’t allowing him any eye contact. He was just staring blankly down at the pristine tiled floor.

There was an awkward stillness that enveloped them, and Jensen was immensely grateful when a doctor walked up to them. “Mr. Ackles?” the large man asked, not looking up from his papers.

“That’s me.” He stood, pulling the now shaking man up with him.

The blonde man looked up, his eyes widened when he saw who Jensen was with.

“Jared?”

The man – Jared – let out a soft sob, sounding as though he was trying to gain a hold of himself.

“You know this man?” Jensen said to the doctor.

“Yes, yes I do.”

There was a pause, and the doctor seemed to shake himself out of shock, he stuck out a hand for Jensen to shake, “Sorry, my name’s Dr. McMurphy.”

Jensen accepted the handshake, subtly wiping his hand on his jeans afterwards, grimacing at the sticky sweat.

“Shall we?” the doctor asked, and he led them to an examining room.

“So… Mr. Ackles, how, may I ask, do you know Jared?”

“I don’t, I only met him yesterday. He wouldn’t even tell me his name.”

The doctor appeared a bit relieved. Jensen continued, “So… you know him?”

The man lay silently, stomach down, on the doctor’s table, his eyes flickering back and forth between Jensen and the doctor, as though trying to figure out who terrified him more.

“Yes, he was brought here once before. He was bleeding badly from cuts on his abdomen and chest. His neighbour brought him in.”

The doctor moved toward Jared, and casually pulled off the man’s shirt. Jensen gritted his teeth as the man let out an almost feral growl of pain, the skin on his back making an awful splitting noise.

“Shit.” Jensen swore, “Couldn’t you be a bit more careful?”

The doctor glanced up, “Mr. Ackles, I understand that you are trying to be a Good Samaritan and all that crap, but I am the doctor.”

Jensen bit his lip as he watched the doctor brutally examining the weeping cuts. The man’s hazel eyes were tearing, but he didn’t utter a sound.

When the doctor pulled back, he glanced at Jensen, “I understand that I must seem harsh to you Mr. Ackles, but I am afraid that is how I must deal with these sorts of patients.”

“What sorts of patients, poor ones?” Jensen spat.

The doctor chuckled, “I am afraid we aren’t on the same page, nor even the same book.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Someone hurt this man, and now you treat him like crap?”

“Someone hurt this man? No, Mr. Ackles, see… Jared has a little problem. Or maybe not so little, but anyway, he inflicts this on himself. He hurts himself, so forgive me if I am abrupt with him.”

Jensen stared in open-mouthed shock at the doctor and then at Jared, whose eyes were wide with humiliation, mortification and shame.

“What the fuck?”

The doctor sounded sympathetic, “I’m sorry he fooled you.”

Jensen’s eyes snapped back to the doctor. “Fooled me?”

The doctor patted him on the shoulder, “Jared does it for pity. He likes people to look after him. He’s done it before. He tricks people into feeling sorry for him, he likes to waste people’s time.”

Jensen felt dizzy, “So… that’s why – no hospitals?”

“Yeah, he likes to be taken into people’s houses, for them to care for his wounds there, and then he takes off with some of their stuff.”

Jensen thought back to his jacket. He felt like the world was crashing down around him, and he felt like an idiot for having cared so much about this masochistic bastard. He grasped onto the anger to overcome the hurt, and lashed out at the man.

“You sick sonofabitch! You wanted to trick me? Fool me into caring for you and then make off with my money?”

Jensen was shaking the man, Jared’s cries of pain only serving to make him angrier.

“Please… please stop… Don’t, you’re hurting me…J…Jensen… please… please… stop…”

“I bet you like this? You seem to like hurting so much; does this do it for you?”

Then Jensen realised what he was doing and he stepped back.

“Christ.”

The man was huddled in the farthest corner of the table, pressed against the wall. He was shaking, face strewn with tears and distorted in fear. His eyes were scrunched up in pain and when they opened, Jensen had to remind himself that Jared tried to trick him, so that he didn’t bundle the man up in his arms.

“What will you do for him?” Jensen couldn’t refrain from asking, wondering what the hospital did for people like this.

“Well, he will be treated; he will probably be admitted into one of the wards for the night, though I am hesitant to do so.”

“Why?”

The doctor smiled sadly, “Well, last time he was admitted overnight, when morning came, he had hurt himself again.”

Jensen had had it, “Fuck, I’m out of here.”

The doctor nodded to him, “Well, goodbye Mr. Ackles.”

Jensen gave one more glance toward Jared, who still cowering in the corner, and then he stormed out.

*

Jensen managed to shove everything to the back of his mind for the rest of the day. He did his job, joked with the guys, and headed for home.

That’s when everything hit him and he cursed himself for caring so much about someone who was so fucked up.

Jensen realised he still had the shredded jacket – shoved in the small sling bag that he always wore – and he couldn’t stop himself from taking it out.

He started to throw it in the trash, but then he stopped.

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

Jensen saw what he hadn’t noticed that morning. The back of the jacket was stained dark and the torn material was covered with dried blood. He dropped it as though burned, and stared, repulsed, down at it.

Why the hell didn’t I see it? He was too cute to be true. Too fucking adorable to not have a screwed up side. What kind of a man whips himself while wearing a jacket someone else leant them? And then, who the fuck goes and gives the shredded thing back, still covered with their blood?

Jensen tried and failed to drown himself in his shower; then he tried to smother himself in his pillows. But neither kept the thoughts of gorgeous eyes and floppy hair out of his mind. Grinding his teeth in frustration, Jensen swallowed half a sleeping pill, and then, only then, did he manage to get to some sleep.

*

He woke in a cold sweat, Jared’s pleading, pain-filled eyes boring holes into his as he begged Jensen to stop hurting him. He felt sick with guilt. Or at least he did until he reminded himself that Jared was just a con-artist- that he had tried to use Jensen.

*

The confounded alarm went off again.

This time Jensen didn’t even bother trying to get back to sleep. Instead he just lay in bed, deciding to get his ‘thinking’ done with. He began going over everything that had happened.

There were a few pieces that weren’t fitting in: Jared’s little stealing attempt, and where the little girl – Jared’s supposed sister – came into any of this.

At seven, Jensen found himself – to his utter dismay – standing outside the hospital waiting for the doors to open for visiting hours.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he was already asking the sleepy receptionist where Jared – don’t know his surname – was. Fortunately – or not so fortunately depending on how you were looking at it – Jared was an uncommon name and there was only one in the hospital.

Jensen hesitated a moment, before grasping the handle with a shaky hand, and turning.

It was a single – probably one of the few in the hospital, and Jensen wondered how that was possible, seeing as though – as far a Jensen knew – Jared wasn’t that wealthy. Then he cursed himself, he knew basically nothing about the man, what were the chances that anything about him had been the truth?

“Fuck,” Jensen swore quietly under his breath when his eyes landed on the form, lying motionless, his chest barely moving.

Jared’s face was swollen, bruises circled his neck, and – from what Jensen could tell – his chest was streaked with cuts and peppered with bruises, most of them new.

He heard footsteps behind him, and turned to see Doctor McMurphy entering the room. The doctor seemed shocked when he spotted Jensen, but he smiled shakily at him, “Oh, I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Jensen smiled wryly, “I didn’t expect to be here either.”

The doctor’s eyes fell on Jared, and he said, “Seems he did it again. I made sure he was put into a solitary room so he didn’t traumatise the other patients.”

“Jesus.”

The doctor’s eyes scanned the room, “He must have used the cable or something to strangle himself.”

Jensen felt like throwing up.

Suddenly Jared’s eyes opened, and he sat up in a panic. His eyes landed on Jensen, and he scrambled backwards. His eyes landed on the doctor and he gave a whimper, curling in on himself.

“Why does he do that?”

The doctor unabashedly yanked the blankets off the man, revealing even more inflictions. Jensen looked away.

“I guess he likes the attention, maybe he wants to have an excuse to stay longer, who the hell knows what goes on in his screwed up head.”

“Why doesn’t he talk much?”

“Same reason, I guess.”

“He mentioned he had a sister?”

“Yes, she lives with his mom. Jared only goes to see them to try and get money out of them.”

Jensen felt all the pity seep out of him. So what if Jared was in pain? Jared did it to himself, he wanted to hurt himself. He wasn’t any of Jensen’s business. The man was just a nut-job. The theft he had failed to commit was probably due to some other pity-plea.

Jensen didn’t even spare Jared another glance. He was through. “This makes me sick,” was all he said as he left the room, vowing to never seek Jared out again.

*

The next month went by, Jensen almost managed to convince himself he had forgotten Jared, but occasionally he would be reminded of the sinfully gorgeous man who was so twisted inside.

Work was going well. Jeff was really pleased with him and he was well respected at the station. Chad had taken to making jokes about being ‘partnered with the hero policeman’, and how ‘damn unfair’ it was to be compared to Jensen. But Jensen knew he was joking so he didn’t feel too bad.

Chris and Steve had been keeping him informed on how their tour was going. Chris kept whining about Steve’s new guitar – which was ‘so fucking awesome’ – and how Steve wasn’t sharing.

His momma kept him informed on his sister’s new boyfriend, and Josh did brotherly things like tease Jensen for not yet dating. Josh also spent more than half of his phone-calls gushing about how awesome Lisa – his fiancée – was doing.

Jensen had all but forgotten about Jared when the call came.

“Hello?”

“Jensen, it’s Jeff, I need you down on Fifth now.”

“Why? What’s happened?”

“There’s been a homicide. The suspect is being held at the station, but I need you there. Crime scene’s being taken apart by those damn forensics.”

“On my way, send me the info.”

“Already did.”

There was a click as the other man hung up; Jensen was already halfway out his door tugging on his brand new jacket.

*

“Jesus Christ,” were Jensen’s first words when he entered the room.

“That is putting it mildly,” came a voice from nearby.

The stench of dead flesh hit him, and bile rose in his throat. Placing a sleeve over his mouth, he tried not to gag as he said, “What’ve we got?”

Chad emerged from where he had been trying to convince a man in ridiculous looking plastic overalls not to touch anything yet.

“Six year old girl. Seems she was killed a few hours ago, the heat's been at it, giving us this aroma.”

“Fuck.”

This was what Jensen always had nightmares about. Crime he could handle fine, the cold-hearted murder of a little girl – not so much.

He followed Chad around the kitchen island, and gagged when he took in the little girl’s body. It was bloody and beaten and raw; as though a starved animal had attempted to rip her apart.

He couldn’t make out her face, but her hand was clutched around a blood soaked teddy bear.

“What kind of sick-fuck would do this?”

Chad just shook his head.

Biting down the nausea, Jensen began to do his job.

*

He stormed into the station, wanting nothing more than to beat the fuck out of whoever was responsible for that slaughter. One of the officers nodded their head towards the third interrogation room and he strode over, swinging the door open with a clang, and then froze.

Sitting at the desk, opposite Jeff, was Jared. Fury and disgust whelmed up in him.

“You … You did that? Wait… was she your sister? You did that to your own fucking sister? How sick are you? You… ”

His shouting was interrupted by Jeff, “Jensen, what the hell’s gotten into you?”

Taking a few deep breaths to stay calm and not maul the suspect, Jensen – through gritted teeth – explained how he knew Jared.

When he was done, he wasn’t the only one looking at Jared in disgust and utter loathing. It seemed to fuel Jensen’s fury even more, when all Jared did was tremble and peer between his bangs with fearful eyes.

“I will end you. I will do whatever it takes to see that you get what you fucking deserve,” Jensen swore.

Through cracked lips, Jared murmured, “No… please, you…you’re not listening to me. I…I didn’t do anything… please just…just listen to me.”

Jensen slammed the door on his way out, not wanting to listen to a word more of that murderer’s crap.

*

The case was cut and dried, over before it really even began. Forensics had found Jared’s fingerprints all over the girl’s body, his DNA on her bloody skin. He had been found at the scene of the crime, huddled in a ball and rocking himself back and forth mumbling, “My fault… My fault… My fault…” He had a knife in his hand, stained with his sister’s blood. His history of self-harm did not act in his favour either.

Unable to afford a good lawyer, Jared had been provided a pro-bono criminal defence lawyer by the government. Governmental lawyers were always lazy; never really caring about providing a good defence, what with the minimum they got paid. Apparently, the lawyer didn’t even confer much with Jared before the trial and usually Jensen would have protested against this, insisting on a proper defence for everyone, but then the image of the girl’s body flashed before his eyes, and he just wanted Jared to pay.

The media was attacking this head on, the public demanding Jared’s head on a platter. There were angry mobs swarming outside the station, out for Jared’s blood. His photo was splashed across national television, alongside an image of his sister – smiling in her neat uniform, adorable eyes (so like her brother’s) peering out.

Jared’s mom remained unreachable. She had sent a telegram to the office, stating that she wanted nothing to do with him whatsoever and the police, having enough statements without hers, decided to leave the grieving mother in peace.

Jared Padalecki – as Jensen learned his name was – was sentenced to life at the maximum security prison in that area. Dr. McMurphy had testified to his self-inflicted abuse, and Jensen had said his piece as well. Jared hadn’t even been able to testify, the jury had been so enraged by the images of the girl – Megan Padalecki - that there had been a unanimous verdict.

*

A few months later, Jensen felt the weird urge to visit Jared at the prison. He didn’t know why that was; it had been over a month since the other man had even crossed his mind – at least when he was awake.

But he had a few days off, so he found himself flashing his card at the security officer stationed at the door to Jared’s wing.

Striding down the rows and rows of cells, Jensen cringed at the pure brutality of the men behind the bars. There was a reason this was a maximum security prison.

When they reached Jared’s cell, Jensen winced at the sight of Jared’s roommate. He was huge, muscled and tattooed.

Jared wouldn’t have stood much of a chance against him.

Not that Jensen cared, Jared was a monster, and monsters got what they deserved.

The warden who had been leading Jensen, said, “Okay, I’ll let you in with him. It’s time for the yard, so the others will be out of your hair.”

Jensen nodded his thanks, watching as the warden fished through the mountains of keys on his chain and unlocked the solid metal contraption.

“Out, Butch.”

The large bald guy scowled, but shoved past them, heading down the hall where his wrists were manacled and he was led away by some other guard. The warden locked the door behind him, and said through the bars, “I’ll be nearby, just shout if you need me.”

Jensen swallowed thickly and nodded. He watched the warden’s retreating back, and then heard a shout of, “Yard!” and the sounds of numerous doors clanking open electronically. He supposed the wardens could do it either way.

Then, when he had run out of excuses to delay looking at Jared, he finally turned around.

Jared was on the top bunk, his eyes shut and his body still. Jensen’s breath hitched at the beauty of the man and he cursed, reminding himself that this man had murdered his sister.

The rough voice that broke through the silence caused him to jump.

“I didn’t do it, you know?”

Jensen scowled, “The fuck you didn’t. So, let me guess, I imagined the whole thing. I imagined seeing Megan all ripped to shreds, your DNA on her skin? Or maybe I imagined the bruises circling her neck, or the stab marks through her chest? Hmmm, maybe I even imagined the stench of rotting flesh? Which one do you think?”

Jared just turned away, his shirt shifting up to reveal fresh bruises at his hips. Jensen tore his eyes away.

“I came to ask why you did it.”

The man was shaking, and at first Jensen thought he was crying again, then he realised the man was laughing. Then he realised just what a monster he had put away.

Then in a bitter voice Jared spat out, “Yeah, right. Because you fucks give a damn about what I have to say.”

“What the hell’s so funny, you sick bastard?”

“Oh, I’m sick… right. I forgot. I’m the disgusting one who hurts himself, right? I’m the sick bastard who killed his sister. Sorry, I forgot for a second.”

Jensen felt bile and fury mingling in his throat, “I don’t even know why I’m here.”

Jared turned around abruptly, and Jensen caught sight of his eyes. They were blank. Devoid of any emotion: no fear, no anger, no amusement, nothing but emptiness, nothing but a cold void of nothingness.

“Neither do I,” the man spat.

Jensen stormed to the door, “That’s it.”

Loudly out the bars, he shouted, “Warden, I’m done with this man.”

There were footsteps and then clanging as the door was unlocked. Jensen just turned and walked out, leaving a silent Jared behind him.

He passed the yard as he left the prison, and one man in particular caught his attention.

“Hey mister, I need to talk to you.”

Deciding to humour this man – he hadn’t anything better to do anyway – he approached the fence. There were actually two fences between them, both rigged with electricity, so they had to talk pretty loudly.

“What do you want?”

The young, boyish man smiled, “Are you a friend of Jared’s?”

Surprised, Jensen shook his head, “No, not a friend.”

The man looked disappointed, “Oh, okay then.”

He turned to go, but Jensen called after him, “Why? Why do you ask?”

The man smiled, “I just wanted to know whether he’s always been such a great guy, or whether prison’s just bringing out the best in him.”

Jensen’s jaw dropped, “Jared, a good guy?”

The man nodded, “Yeah, he’s saved my life more than a few times. Man, it’s like… like prison doesn’t affect him. Everyone else turns mean and horrible, hardened in the way you need to be to survive. Jared acts like a… like a good person. Even when he’s being beaten, he always cares for others more than himself.”

Jensen was frowning deeply. This man had to be crazy, either that or he was enamoured with Jared… Hmmm, that was very likely.

“Dude, its great that you’re gay or whatever, but Jared is seriously not the one you should be lusting after, the guys a sadistic bastard, he does whatever it takes for him to get what he wants. You should stay away from him.”

The man stared at him in shock, “You… oh, God, you think I’m in love with Jared? Dude, I have a wife and kid waiting for me when I get out of here. I’m not gay. And I guess we must be talking about two different guys, ‘cause the Jared I know isn’t any of those things you said. Man, Jared is the bomb!”

Jensen shook his head.

Okay, the man’s crazy, only other explanation for it.

“Okay, it was nice chatting with you.” Jensen turned to go, then for some reason he couldn’t understand, he asked, “So… you guys have yard-time every day at this time?”

The man nodded, “Yeah, Jay can’t though, he was beaten pretty badly recently, the nurse said he had to stay inside for a few weeks.”

“Beaten?”

The man’s face clouded. “Denny – that’s the big boss in this place – him and his boys have taken a fancy to Jared. They started targeting him a while back. They find ways to break him, make him give himself up.”

Jensen found himself asking, “How do they do that?”

With a dark chuckle, the man replied bitterly, “They use us. They drag one of us down to the laundry room or someplace dark, and then they take Jared and he has to choose, him or us.”

Jensen choked the bile down, thinking about how Jared used to hurt himself. He was just a masochistic bastard. Jensen shouldn’t care about what happens to him.

“Jared does it for pity. He likes people to look after him.”

The doctor’s words came back to him. And he swallowed heavily before asking, “What happens… after?”

The man wearily ran a hand through his hair, “It depends, sometimes he gets left lying there for hours after they… after they’ve finished using him. Other times he manages to get to his feet before lights out.”

“No, I mean who looks after him when he gets hurt? Does he get attention? Does the nurse treat him or what?”

The man blinked, “If he doesn’t make it to the cell by lights out, the guards beat him. If he gets found before then, he gets dragged to the nurse. She just injects him with something and sends him off. If one of the other inmates, one of those who aren’t friendly, finds him, they might just use him as well. We can’t do much, I wish we could, but we’re not the strength here. The only reason he’s getting to stay inside this time, is because he can’t even fucking walk, and Butch in there doesn’t make it any better.”

Jensen felt sick. He wasn’t ready for this. He didn’t want to hear this. Not after… not after he had been the one to put Jared here.

No, no… his sister, he killed his sister in cold blood. This doesn’t change anything. This doesn’t change anything. He’s just… he’s just a masochistic murderer.

“I didn’t do it, you know?”

Jared’s bitter voice broke through his thoughts.

Jensen felt his world beginning to spin. He muttered a goodbye and took off for a run toward where his truck was parked.

It was basically the first time he had driven since he had arrived in Dallas, the prison being a distance from the police station. It let out a whine that came from lack of use, and he sped away from the prison.

Jensen slammed his door shut behind him and sank to the floor, he was shaking, and when the image of a similarly trembling Jared popped into his mind, he let out a soft moan of frustration, pressing his fingers to his temples, trying to ease the throbbing there.

It was all too much to think about, too much to take in. Everything that he had buried for the past few months came bubbling to the surface, everything from how gorgeous those hazel eyes had been, looking up into his own, to how Jared had fumbled his attempt at mugging, to how Jared had trembled and shook beneath Jensen’s touch, to how his wide eyes had been filled with fear as they stared pleadingly up at him, begging him to stop hurting him.

Jensen ran for the bathroom, throwing up until he was dry-heaving and his mouth tasted vile.

The irony that he hadn’t thrown up after seeing Megan’s dead body but had now, hit him with a thud,and, after rising and brushing his teeth, he slid to the ground beside the couch.

What if I was wrong? What if Jared is innocent? What if I sent an innocent man into that hellhole? What if… what if he never killed his sister?

All that had really convinced Jensen that Jared was the murderer, had been the knowledge that Jared inflicted pain upon himself.If he had no trouble doing that, then why not on others? The jump from self-harm, to masochism, to sadism didn’t seem that great at the time. All that he had to back up the fact that Jared hurt himself was word of mouth from a doctor, one doctor.

The forensics showed Jared’s DNA came up on Megan’s skin, but she was his sister, mightn’t he have tried to wake her up if he found her dead?

Mightn’t he have felt for a pulse directly where his fingerprints had been found – filed as strangling.

Mightn’t he have held her close enough to get her blood on his hands?

Mightn’t he have gotten the same cuts on the jacket if he had been wearing it while someone else whipped him?

There could have been an alternative explanation for everything, and Jensen knew for a fact that there had been other DNA samples also found on the girl that had never been checked – due to Jensen’s certainty and the substantial other evidence, evidence that Jensen knew could just be circumstantial.

Nah, if any of that were true he would have said so in his testimonial.

Jensen realised with a cold hand clenching in his chest that Jared hadn’t had a testimonial.

His lawyer would have checked it all.

His lawyer was a fat, lazy, underpaid governmental defence attorney and he hadn’t cared much for the case.

He hadn’t even spoken to Jared before the trial.

And I didn’t do a damn thing about it. Even though I knew I should’ve.

Jensen wrapped his arms around his stomach. It was aching painfully.

Oh, God. What… what have I done?”

*

The next day, Jensen found himself back at the prison. He didn’t go in though; he just waved at the confused guards and made his way toward the yard fence.

The eager man from yesterday spotted him, and he chatted to the group of inmates with whom he’d been playing cards, and then the group nodded, throwing glances in Jensen’s direction.

“Hey mister, I didn’t expect to see you here. You interested in the Jay-man?”

Jensen nodded, “Yeah, I want you guys to tell me about him.”

The five guys sat down on the opposite side of the fence and Jensen mimicked them, sitting cross-legged on the dusty ground.

The five men were an unusual bunch, two black, one Latino, one white and then the guy from the previous day – who was also white. The Latino and one black guy were quite butch, the white guy was stringy, with tattoos over every visible patch of skin, the rest were average.

“What can you guys tell me about him?”

Jensen survived an hour: an hour of being told just how wrong he had been about Jared. From what they told him, Jared was the nicest guy anyone could ever get lucky enough to meet. He never hurt anybody unless it was to defend someone else. He never gave in, unless he was protecting someone else. He brightened the lives of the inmates – or at least the lives of those who didn’t want to beat him up, and maybe he did theirs as well, Jensen didn’t really want to think about it – and had a kind word for everybody. He usually kept to himself, but was always open if someone approached him. He was – as far a Jensen could tell – the best friend a man could ask for.

Jensen despised the twisted, knotted feeling in his chest when they asked him who he was and how he knew ‘their Jay’.

“I was in charge of the investigation carried out against Jared.”

The men scrambled to their feet, friendliness evaporating instantly. “You fucking bastard. You sent him here. You sick piece of shit!”

“Fuck you, go rot in hell, that man doesn’t belong here.”

“I hope you sleep well at night. I hope Jared haunts you in your nightmares. Do you realise that every fucking night Jared gets locked in the cell with that beast? Do you realise that we can hear what that animal does to Jared, all the way across the ward? I hope you fucking sleep well knowing that we have to hear his pain echoing across the hall!”

“Get the fuck out of here. Just get the fuck out! He didn’t do a thing wrong his entire life and look where you fucking put him.”

Sending looks of utter disgust and loathing at Jensen, they stormed off.

Jensen sagged on the ground. The knowledge that he had sent those very same looks of loathing toward Jared did not escape him. He managed to make it back to his house without crashing and he collapsed facedown on his couch.

He couldn’t stop the tears, though God knows he tried.

About half an hour later Jensen was, with trembling fingers, pressing speed dial on his phone.

“Yeah, you miss me already?”

“Chris…”

Jensen voice must have sounded completely broken, because his friend’s reply was concerned and urgent.

“Jensen, what happened? Are you okay?”

Jensen’s eyes slid shut. He shook his head, completely forgetting that Chris couldn’t see him.

“Chris, what… what do you do when you make a mistake?”

There was a pause as Chris obviously wondered about the sanity of his friend.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Please Chris, tell me…”

There was the sound of Chris inhaling as he tried to think of a good answer. Then he said plainly, “You fix it.”

Jensen’s eyes shot open. He muttered his thanks and dropped the phone, scrambling to his feet, already out the door a moment later.

Several minutes later, when he strode into the station, he was the perfect impersonation of the Sergeant Ackles that he was supposed to be.

“Jensen, I thought you had a few days off. Couldn’t keep away could you?”

Jensen smiled briefly, “Mannings, I need you to dust the files on the Padalecki case, search for any evidence that is actually solid, stand-alone solid.”

The man looked surprised, but he obeyed the commanding authority that Jensen had exerted, and went off.

Next, Jensen said, “Susie, could you call up Dr. McMurphy, ask him to come down here when he can, tell him it’s just about some paperwork that needs to be filled in, nothing more.”

The secretary nodded and immediately picked up the phone.

Three men walked in, and Jensen breathed a sigh of relief. Grabbing the three men by their collars – or rather, grabbing Mike and Chad by their collars and hoping Tom would follow – he pulled them into one of the side offices.

Jensen locked the door behind Tom. Mike smirked, “My, my Jensen. Never figured you for a foursome, but… well I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, we are all hot men after all.”

Tom wrapped an arm around Mike, covering his partner’s mouth. Mike let out a frustrated wiggle, but then fell still. When it was safe for Tom to remove his hand, Jensen began.

When he was done, and looked up from his lap, it was to see three stunned faces.

“Fuck…”

“You mean we never…?”

“We never even checked another doctor’s opinion or DNA sample. We just dumped it all on Jared because he was convenient, and because I thought he was a sadomasochistic bastard. We never let him tell his side. We never even made sure he had a proper fucking defence. We never even bothered to ask why he had the knife in his hand, he could have just picked it up- you know how that happens.”

“Shit.”

“Shit’s about right.”

Mike raised a pale face from where it had been buried in his hands, “How long’s he been in there exactly?”

“Four months.”

“Christ.”

Tom rubbed a hand over his face; he looked up, “Okay, so we start from scratch. We do it properly, no biased suspicion: nothing’s good unless it’s solid.”

Jensen nodded; glad that the guys had no objections to starting fresh.

Chad looked up, “So wait, you’re saying that there could have been someone else. Like another person involved in all of this, and if what you’re saying’s true, then this third person killed Megan and beat Jared?”

Jensen swallowed the foul taste in his mouth, “Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

Mike stood up abruptly, “Let’s get started then.”

Jensen’s head was pounding relentlessly, his eyes were itchy and scratchy and his clothes felt sticky.

It was amazing just how many flaws there were in the Padalecki case file, and it was miraculous that no one had even checked out the references before. References that nailed Jared in that hell hole were founded mainly on thin air.

Jensen had always stood for justice. He had been proud to think that he upheld it and that he put away murderers. Now he was beginning to realise just how much he’d fucked this case up. Jared hadn’t gotten any justice. The law stated that every man, even the lowest of criminals, deserved a fair trial. Jared had been offered no such thing. And the evidence, when taken apart, was all circumstantial. It was all hearsay. The very opposite of justice had happened.

“Sergeant Ackles”

Jensen looked up from the stack of papers strewn over his desk.

“What is it?”

“The doc’s here.”

Jensen was on his feet instantly. He needed answers.

The man was standing at the desk, smiling as he chatted with the receptionist.

“Dr. McMurphy, a word with you, please?”

The doctor looked surprised, “I thought this was just to sign some paperwork. What’s this about?”

Jensen shrugged casually, “Oh, you know, just covering some loose ends.”

He didn’t miss the flash of uncertainty that fleetingly passed over the doctor’s face, before it was reshaped into a helpful look, “Sure thing.”

Using an interrogation room would be too obvious, so Jensen led the man into his office and locked the door behind them.

The doctor eyed the lock, and then turned to Jensen.

“What can I do for you?”

Jensen gave the man what was known as the patented tell-the-truth-or-I-will-sort-you-out look, as he settled in the comfy chair behind the desk.

“Maybe you already know. Is there anything that you need to confess?”

A flicker of fear; then: “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

Jensen gave a wry chuckle. “Okay, how about you start by telling me where you got all that information that Jared hurts himself?”

“I really… haven’t we done this? I’m sure you went over this with me at the time.”

“Humour me, Doctor.”

The man sank into the chair opposite Jensen and ran a hand through his hair.

“Like I said, a while back he was admitted to the hospital, his mother brought him in.”

Jensen sat up sharply, “His mother?”

Dr. McMurphy nodded, then he realised his mistake; his mouth dropped open.

In a dangerous voice, Jensen said, “If I recall correctly, you told me it was his neighbour.”

The man was paling fast. And stuttering, “I mean… yeah, it was his neighbour… sorry, I’m getting old, you know, forgetful and whatnot.”

Jensen frowned, “And yet you’re still working at the hospital? Isn’t that a bit irresponsible?”

“Yes… No, I mean. Sergeant Ackles, I really must be getting back, my shift is coming up.”

The flustered man floundered with the lock for a bit, and then finally, with a sigh of relief, managed to get out.

Thumping his head on the desk, Jensen tried not to throw up. He had sealed Jared’s case with references and statements given to him by Dr. McMurphy. He wondered if there was anything legitimate in the entire folder.

He shuffled through the stack of papers, and then pulled out Jared’s medical file, and photographs taken of his allegedly self-inflicted injuries. Jensen grimaced at the close-up of Jared’s bruised neck. His eyes filled when he took in the sight of Jared’s shredded back.

He was struggling not to throw up. He felt a wave of anger toward the doctor for making Jared into such a monster that Jensen hadn’t cared about his injuries. But Jensen knew that he was the one at fault. He had been told to always check on his informants, and that some people just made up stuff to put away people they had grudges on, he had always been taught to check his references.

His pop would be so disappointed in him. Jensen wondered if he had ever made such a terrible mistake in his career. It was very unlikely.

Jensen grabbed the medical file, and headed out the door.

“Susie, can you call the hospital, tell them I need to speak to a doctor. The best they have: anyone but McMurphy. I’ll be there in ten minutes. Tell them it’s important, vital to our investigation.”

His secretary nodded, and Jensen strode out the door. He was going to fix this, all of this. He had to.

He realised that he had to do this, even if at the end they found out that Jared was guilty anyway. Just the fact that Jensen had convicted a man on circumstantial evidence and without a fair trial was unacceptable.

A flustered lady was waiting for him when he entered the hospital.

“Sergeant Ackles, I presume?”

Jensen shook her hand, “Yes, I’m sorry for the short notice, but I am afraid that it is necessary.”

She nodded, “I was told it was essential to your investigation? I’m Dr. Evans. Fortunately, I was free. Otherwise you wouldn’t have been able to meet with anybody.”

He followed her into one of the small viewing rooms. She settled at her desk.

“So, what can I do for you?”

He took out the file that contained Jared’s name, and sliding the rest over the table, he said, “I need you to tell me what you can from those photographs.”

She opened them, and barely blinked at the images. After examining them for about ten minutes, she said, “This man has been tortured. From those faint discolorations in his skin over there, and the darker bruises over there, you can see that it was frequent abuse. The faint rings of darker skin around his wrists show signs of struggling against restraints. The bruising circling his neck is in the distinct form of handprints, see those lines there? That’s likely from fingernails digging in.”

Jensen swallowed the quickly rising bile, and said, “Any chance he did it to himself?”

The doctor frowned and examined the images again. Then she shook her head, “No, if a person whips themselves, you can usually see it distinctly. They tend to whip themselves over their shoulder or around their sides. These incisions are deeper and wider towards the centre of his back, you only get that when the person is hunched over, curled around themselves, and arching their back against the pain.”

She glanced up at Jensen, and then flipped through the file. Then she stopped and turned back to the photos.

“And the file states that he is right handed. Yet his right side is the side bruised the worst. If it were self-inflicted, he would have the worst on his left side. No, this shows that a left handed person beat him.”

Jensen felt dizzy. All it had taken was one second opinion.

“Is there anything else you can tell me?”

The doctor paused, and then she looked straight at Jensen, “Whoever this man is, he’s a fighter. This doesn’t contain a death certificate, so I am presuming that the victim is still alive. Anyone who goes through that amount of trauma and survives must be immensely strong-willed.”

Shakily, he got to his feet. “Would you be willing to testify to this in court?”

She didn’t blink, “Absolutely, I’ll even get a few of my colleagues to check it over as well – make sure I know what I’m talking about.”

Jensen turned away before she could see the tears filling his eyes. Jared hadn’t had that. There had been no one but Dr. McMurphy to testify, and convince the media that he was a sadistic sinner.

Thanking her, he left the hospital, leaving a copy of the file on the desk.

An hour later, he was crossing the threshold into the air-conditioned laboratory.

“Mike? Tom?”

There was a call from an adjoining room, and Jensen followed the sound. Mike was seated at the side of the room. A few men in plastic suits were pressing buttons and dripping liquids from test tubes and a whole load of other procedures that Jensen didn’t understand.

“Hey Mike, how’s it going, anything yet?”

Mike shook his head, “The technicians say it’s still about half an hour until they have solid results.”

Jensen nodded, “Tom?”

“He’s gone to check the local records, see if anything comes up. What’d you get?”

After quickly filling his colleague in on what the doctor had said, they sat in silence, both trapped in their own thoughts.

Then a man in a ridiculous yellow suit came up, “Sergeants.”

The two men leapt to their feet, “Yeah?”

“We have a second DNA sample, but it is not a match to any person recorded in CODIS.”

Biting down the disappointment, Jensen said, “Okay, but if we gave you samples of DNA would you be able to match them up, if they were from the same person?”

The Suit nodded, “Without a doubt.”

They headed back, hoping that Tom or Chad – who had gone to Jared’s neighbourhood to talk to the locals there- would have something.

Jeff called Jensen into his office the moment they set foot in the station. Jensen steeled himself to be called out on making such an atrocious mistake.

“Sit.”

Jensen sat.

“I heard about the mess up.”

“Yes, Chief, I’m doing all I can to fix it.”

Jeff nodded, “Good, you do that. I want the killer of that girl behind bars, no one else. What’ve you gotten so far?”

Jensen laid it all out, and Jeff nodded, “Okay Sergeant, get your ass out there and fix this. You’re in charge of this one. Every cop has at least one fuck-up in their career. At least you still have the chance to fix yours.”

Nodding gratefully, Jensen left the office, and bumped into a heavily breathing Chad. Between gulps of breath, Chad managed to tell Jensen and Mike what he had discovered.

Chad had spoken to an elderly lady who lived next door to Jared, and she said that she often heard shouting and loud noises coming from the house. She said that there were also occasional muffled noises, as though from a lower level. She said that Jared was the sweetest boy she ever knew, and that she used to see him with bruises or cuts often. She didn’t see much of anyone else who lived in that house, but she knew there was a little girl and a big man.

Apparently the lady refused to believe that Jared had hurt his sister and stated firmly that she would testify to that in court. She even had a photograph of Jared with his little sister sitting on his shoulders.

Chad handed Jensen the photograph, and Jensen dropped it with a gasp.

Frowning, Mike picked it up, he whistled.

“Wow.”

Jared was smiling. Jensen sat down heavily on the fortunately nearby chair. He realised with a jolt that he had never seen the other man smile.

He’d never seen that adorably bashful smile. Never even seen the man’s eyes sparkle like they were in that photograph.

All he had seen in them was fear. And pain. Fear directed at him. Pain caused by him. Jensen bolted for the bathroom, throwing up his entire stomach’s contents.

Mike came and leaned in the doorway. Chad hovered behind him.

“That’s weird. That wasn’t at all what I was thinking about this photo. I was actually thinking the exact opposite. The man’s freaking hot! I don’t know why you’re throwing up like you saw something sick.”

Jensen shook his head, resting it against the cold porcelain. He unsteadily got to his feet, flushed and made his way to the ink. He looked up at the mirror. Freezing when he took in how horrible he looked. His eyes were red-rimed, his cheeks pale, and he looked like he was about to faint.

Look who’s the monster now.

“Are you okay?”

Jensen ignored that question. How was he expected to answer that when he didn’t even know the answer himself?

He was saved by his phone ringing shrilly, the sound echoing against the walls of the bathroom.

“Hello?”

“Jensen, I got something; something big. Meet me at the library.”

Jensen hung up, “That was Tom. He said to meet him at the library. Come on.”

The other two followed him out of the station, and they quickly made their way down the road.

They climbed the mountains of stairs, and wound up in a huge room, lined with columns upon columns of books.

They quickly spotted Tom: his height overshadowing everyone else easily.

“What’ve you found?”

Tom looked up, Jensen realised he wasn’t the only one who was looking pale today.

Tom slid over a copy of a five year old death certificate: Gerald Padalecki.

Jensen frowned, this wasn’t anything big. He had figured that Jared’s father was dead. He glanced at Tom. The man just slid across another page.

A marriage certificate: a marriage certificate recording the union between one Sharon Padalecki and one Stephan Martin McMurphy.

McMurphy.

Jensen remembered noticing the doctor was left handed. But he hadn’t thought much of it at the time.

Tom silently slid over another page; another death certificate - announcing the death of Jared’s mother. A small page fell out as well, stating that full custody had been granted to the stepfather.

“That telegram from his mom…”

“…must have been written by McMurphy,” Tom completed.

“The fucker!”

Forcing himself to remain professional, Jensen said, “Mike, go and bring Dr. McMurphy in for questioning. Chad, go to the Chief and ask him to request a DNA warrant from a judge.. He intentionally withheld information; we should have enough for probable cause. Tom, go and find Jared the best lawyer you can. I’ll pay whatever the charge.”

It’s the least I can do, was what he didn’t add.

The three men nodded, “What are you going to do?”

Jensen stared out the window of the library, “I’m going to go and see Jared.”

*

Jensen welcomed the rude comments that were thrown at him as he passed the yard. He deserved them.

The door clanged shut behind him, but the motionless figure on the bed didn’t move. Jensen’s eyes filled with tears as he saw the fresh gash on Jared’s cheek and the purple bruising.

I put him in here. I’m the reason he’s… broken.

Jensen crumpled to the floor; the biting of his lip doing nothing to stop the tears that were pouring down his cheeks as he began pleading for forgiveness. He recalled a time when Jared had done just the same and only cried harder.

Through blurry eyes, he could just make out a figure dismounting from the bunk. He reached out a hand.

“Please…please… forgive me, forgive me. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

The figure came closer. It didn’t touch him, or his outstretched hand. It just settled on the ground beside him. Jensen crawled closer, but he didn’t lay a hand on the man.

He hurriedly wiped his eyes, not because he was ashamed – he was too far gone in his grief for that – but because he wanted to see Jared.

Jared’s breathing was laboured, his face contorted in pain, and Jensen realised that the other man shouldn’t be moving. Hadn’t the inmate said he was hurt so bad he couldn’t move? And that was only two days ago.

Trembling, Jensen gently took one of Jared’s hands between him, and cradled it. “God, please forgive me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m getting you out of here. I’m getting you out. Just, just…please don’t hate me. I thought I was right. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

The hand that he was holding reached up, the long fingers brushing the dampness on Jensen’s cheeks. Jensen’s eyes slid shut at the touch, and he pressed Jared’s hand closer to his skin.

Then the hand disappeared, and as Jensen’s eyes snapped open, he watched as Jared painfully got to his feet. The man walked to the bars, his back to Jensen.

In a hollow voice, Jared asked, “So, what made you realise that I’m not the sick monster you thought I was? What made you realise that I tried to steal money from that lady because my sister was starving and needed her medication? What made you realise that I was kicked out of my own house – my mother’s house – by a man who made me call him Daddy when he fucked me? That the only nights I slept in that house, were spent tied up in the basement, while he did whatever he wanted with me? That I had to smile and watch my little sister playing with the man who killed our mother? And I couldn’t do a damn thing about it because he made everyone think I was a sick freak who cut himself, and she thought he was the best dad ever? Or wait, maybe you realised that he got drunk and couldn’t find me to hurt, so he decided to go for her; that he finally lost his façade and beat her to inches from death? And that I had to find her like that, that I had to hold her through her last breaths, telling her it was going to be okay, when I knew it wasn’t? Tell me, Sergeant Ackles, which of the above was it?”

Jared turned around; his eyes flashing with anger.

Jensen wrapped an arm around his stomach, “Oh, God.”

The man gave a painful smile, “There is no God, Sergeant Ackles. I learned that a while back. Or if there is, then he’s deserted us… Or maybe he’s just deserted me, maybe he’ll answer you.”

Wincing with every step, Jared made his way to the bunk, he climbed up, his eyes tearing at the pain, but he never let out a sound.

Shuddering, Jensen buried his head in his arms; tears trickling down to the hard, cold cement.

*

“So, Stephan McMurphy, why do you think you are being held here?”

The man glowered at him, “How the fuck am I supposed to know?”

Jensen smiled through gritted teeth, “Well, isn’t there something, you might have forgotten to mention in the past?”

“Like what?” spat the man.

Shrugging, “Oh, I don’t know… maybe something along the lines of … family, abuse, murder?”

Stephan’s eyes bulged, “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Sitting in the chair before the man, Jensen said, “Oh, I think you do.”

“I want my lawyer.”

“ Your lawyer? That would imply that you have something to hide, wouldn’t it?”

“Only that I do not appreciate being unjustly interrogated for no valid reason.”

Letting out a sigh Jensen said, “Okay, your lawyer is on his way, have you by any chance reconsidered volunteering your DNA?”

A vein was bulging on the man’s forehead, as he snarled, “No.”

Feigning cheerfulness, Jensen stood up, “Okay then.”

He left the room.

“Chad, how’s that warrant coming along?”

Chad grinned, “It’s on its way.”

“Good, Tom, you found that lawyer?”

With a nod, Tom handed Jensen a card, “Yeah, Mr. Waters. He’s apparently the best there is as far as defence attorneys go.”

“Excellent. Mike, I want you to contact forensics, tell them to be ready to analyse a DNA sample sometime this afternoon.”

Once everyone had dispersed, Jensen sank down into his chair, letting his eyes slip shut for a moment.

“You should go home, get some sleep. These were meant to be your days off.”

Jensen smiled at the concern in Susie’s voice.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right. I won’t be much use to anyone like this.”

He got to his feet and headed out the door, giving strict orders to be contacted the moment anything happened.

*

He woke to find his cell phone light flashing. He cursed and quickly grabbed it.

“Hello?”

“Sergeant, finally, I’ve been trying to contact you all morning.”

“What’s happened?”

“The DNA sample matched. McMurphy’s DNA was found on the victim’s body.”

Jensen let out a breath, “And he’s in custody?”

“Yeah, he’s got, like, three guys guarding him.”

“Good, tell everyone ‘well done’, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

He hung up and breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t know what he would have done if the sample hadn’t matched.

Now, there wasn’t much more that could be done. There was evidence against both the men, and only the court could determine the official outcome.

Not that Jensen needed it to know that Jared was completely innocent.

*

Jared had been transferred from the maximum security prison to the police cells at the station. There were two sections on opposite ends of the building, and Jared and McMurphy were seperated for obvious reasons.

Jensen kicked the automatically locking door behind him, “Hey… um, I brought you a burger and fries…um, if you’d like.”

Jared barely glanced at him from where he was lying, staring up at the ceiling.

Jensen settled on the ground, with his back to the wall facing Jared. There was a long, cruel silence.

“So, um, I was speaking to your lawyer, and he said you had a great case.”

Still nothing.

“And, the police found traces of blood in the cement of the basement floor. It matched yours, so… um, yeah that goes against McMurphy as well.”

Not even a blink.

“Okay, so how are you doing? Dr. Evans said she gave you medication?”

Well, that was a pretty stupid question, seeing as though Jensen had been put in charge of the pills. At least it got an are-you-crazy look from Jared. That was a response at least.

Jensen scooted a bit closer. That got a reaction: Jared scrambled away so quickly that Jensen barely had time to blink before Jared was pressed against the opposite wall.

“Fuck.”

Jared’s wide eyes peered back at him, and Jensen was reminded again that this was a man who had been abused in the worst possible ways, despite how together he might seem, he was still terrified at the drop of a hat.

And Jensen had never given Jared any reason to trust him; he felt guilt well up when he thought back to that day at the hospital, when Jensen had just shaken Jared around in anger, not even taking in the wide pleading, pain-filled eyes.

Jensen slowly crept towards Jared, keeping his arms open in what he hoped was a non-threatening gesture. Jared didn’t move – well, he couldn’t, seeing as though he was already pressed against the wall – his eyes just slid shut as though he was waiting for a blow.

Kneeling before the man, Jensen said, “Jared, I’m not going to hurt you, okay? I’m not that kind of guy.”

You were that day at the hospital. The eyes seemed to say as they locked with Jensen’s. Scrubbing a weary hand over his eyes, Jensen said, “Look, I know what you’re thinking, I know I hurt you before, but you’ve got to understand that I was angry. I thought you had tricked me. I thought you had tried to use me.”

The eyes filled with mournful sadness, and looked away.

“He only hurt me when he was angry,” Jared whispered.

Jensen let out a hiss, and cursed himself when Jared jumped.

“Fuck,” Jensen muttered as he ran a hand roughly through his hair. All he ever seemed to do was terrorise the man.

“Look, okay. I know that I probably scare the shit out of you, but it shouldn’t be like that. I never set out to hurt you that day. I was just… hurt, angry, mad at myself for liking you so much, I don’t know… it just, I thought you had been trying to trick me, and I didn’t know you, and McMurphy seemed to, and it gave me an excuse to blame my weird fascination of you on, that you tricked people that way, not just me.

“And you kept on shaking and I thought you were faking, and… I’m not like that. Really, I’m not. I hate abusers with a passion. I spend half my time on duty locking them up, and I just… I just don’t want you to look at me like I’m one of them. I’m not like them, really. I never want to be.”

Jared just remained still, and letting out a sigh, Jensen got to his feet, and exited the room. Over his shoulder he called, “If you need anything, just shout.”

*

The media was going crazy again. Jeff had made a statement that the re-opening of the case was due to the discovery of new evidence, and assured everyone that there was not an individual person to blame.

It was true that Jensen was not the only one at fault, but he felt like he was. Every night he was haunted by images of Jared pleading with him, telling him to stop, and every night he wound up waking in cold sweats calling Jared’s name.

Jared’s lawyer was extremely efficient, and Jensen felt almost a hundred percent sure that he would be pronounced innocent.

Jensen had started eating meals with Jared, not liking how skinny the man was. He would show up with bags of whatever he thought Jared would like. Ribs, pizzas, salads, steaks, smoothies, ice cream, steaks, wraps, hot dogs, basically every single food type that could be found in the vicinity.

Each time Jared would give him a confused look, combined with a frown as he studied Jensen – trying to figure him out. Jensen kept his distance, not wanting to scare the man, but he ate in the cell with him.

Jared would eat cautiously, eyes never leaving Jensen.

“Why do you do this?” Jared’s voice broke through into Jensen’s land of pancakes.

Jared was seated at the small desk, a stack of pancakes before him. He was staring down at it in confusion.

“Oh, sorry, here you go,” Jensen said as he tossed Jared the syrup he had been hogging.

The man caught it automatically, and Jensen raised an eyebrow. Jared must have played football or something at school.

The hazel eyes, clouded with confusion, flickered between Jensen and the syrup.

Jensen watched in fascination as the man started to say something again, but swallowed it down.

“Oh, I brought you something…” Jensen started fishing in his sling-bag, pulling out a book.

“I know the books they give you here are pretty crappy, so I got this one for you. It’s my absolute favourite.”

Jared’s eyes twinkled for a moment, “The new Terry Pratchett…?”

Jensen would have done anything to keep that twinkle there, “Hey, don’t diss the Diskworld man. I’ve read every single one.”

Jared gave a half smile and Jensen’s heart leapt, “I used to…" He broke off, sadness clouding his eyes.

Jensen looked down at his pancakes, suddenly not feeling that hungry. Then in a hoarse voice, he heard, “Thank you.”

He smiled up at Jared, “You’re welcome, just tell me when you’re done and I can get you hooked up with another.”

*

A shaky friendship began between them, mostly founded on sitting in silence, eating meals or playing board-games like chess and checkers.

But when Jensen was with Jared, he couldn’t think of a single place he’d rather be – well, maybe he’d rather they were sitting on a comfortable couch somewhere rather than in a prison cell, but he had come to treasure the time spent with the other man.

Jared too, had become less jumpy around Jensen, no longer panicking about small things. He wasn’t yet comfortable with anyone, including Jensen, touching him or being close to him, but he no longer acted like a skittish colt.

He was no longer skin and bones - thanks to Jensen’s random meal choices, and his face was no longer the deathly pale that it had been before.

The trial was – as most did – taking long to get going, but Jensen couldn’t bring himself to mind, not when he was gradually gaining Jared’s trust.

Chris and Steve had popped in for a visit, checking that Jensen was doing okay, after learning about Jared, they had joked about Jensen being head over heels for a convict.

Jensen couldn’t even bring himself to deny it, he had just mumbled, “Shut up,” while turning beet-red.

The guys at the station might have teased Jensen for his infatuation with their new resident, but they were all just as bad: Tom had started giving Jared cookies that his fiancée Jamie had made; Mike had started having long one-sided conversations with Jared about his ridiculous theory that the US president was actually an alien, and Jensen had caught Jared’s eye on more than one occasion and burst out laughing. True, Jared hadn’t started laughing, but his eyes had sparkled.

Even Chad had taken to moaning about his girlfriend – Sophia – to Jared; another conversation that had ended in Jensen stifling guffaws.

Everyone had a soft spot for the quiet inmate, but Jensen felt a warm glow inside him when he was the one Jared challenged to board-games.

*

It was about two months after Jared had been moved into the station, and Jared must have been going out of his mind. He had – after the first two weeks – taken to doing push ups and sit-ups in the cell, a sight that made Jensen have to gulp down water, and he had now read six Pratchett books, and had annihilated Jensen at every board game Jensen could get a hold of, but two months is two months. Way too long to be holed up in a cell.

That was why Jensen was so relieved when the court date was set. He ignored the pang of disappointment that Jared would no longer be there, and instead celebrated by bringing Jared a big cake and getting Mike, Chad and Tom in there for the party.

Jared looked up at them in amazement, Mike was sporting a party hat and singing ‘Happy court-day to you,’ Tom had a bag of gifts that the station had put together, and Chad was carrying the bright pink cake. Jensen followed the crazy bunch, with a wide smile on his face.

Jared shifted so his back was against the wall – something Jensen had learned he did when he was nervous – but his eyes were bright and laughing.

Jensen fought down the urge to kiss the man senseless.

Instead he said, “Dude, your trial‘s in a few hours. You’ll be out of this place in no time.”

Biting his lip, Jared said, “Oh, that’s… great.”

Jensen frowned, catching Tom’s eye and motioning with his head.

Tom caught on quickly, “Mike, Chad, come on guys, we got stuff to do.”

Uncharacteristically, neither of the two protested, instead they laid the stuff on the table and headed out.

“Hey, man. What’s the matter? I thought you’d be thrilled to get rid of us.”

Jared turned away, “Yeah, thrilled.”

Jensen watched as Jared glanced at the bag.

“Go on, all that’s for you. From the guys, there’s something from me as well.”

Eyes wide in shock, Jared opened it with shaky fingers. He pulled out the first object. He carefully unwrapped the messily packaged square, and out fell a box set of legendary movies – courtesy of Tom.

Jared ran his finger over the cover in amazement. Then he shook himself, and reached into the bag for the next one. From Chad, it was tickets to the Mavs vs. Spurs final scheduled for the end of the following month, there was a note; “You’ll be out of here by then.”

The next was a shirt that said, “If you have time to read this then you must be my mother, if not – keep your eyes to yourself… pervert.”

Jensen grinned at that, it was courtesy of Mike.

The next was from Steve and Chris – not that they had even properly met Jared – and it was free tickets to their next show.

The next few were from various other police members, and finally, at the bottom, was Jensen’s. It was just an envelope.

He cleared his throat before Jared could open it. “I…uh, well I heard from someone that you wanted to, uh, well, anyway, you’ll see. If you want it, it’ll be waiting for you when you get out, if not, that’s fine.”

Jared carefully peeled open the flap, and then pulled out a small photograph. It was of a puppy.

Frowning, Jared looked up in askance at Jensen, “You, got me…”

Jensen nodded, hoping that the old lady who lived next door to Jared hadn’t lied over the phone. “Yeah, the owners said they’ll keep him until after the trial.

When Jared looked up again, his eyes were shining, but unless Jensen was very much mistaken, they were happy tears.

In a choked voice, Jared managed to get out, “Thank you.”

*

Jensen was called out, having to check out the courtroom before the trial started. The mob swarmed around him as he made his way down the stairs, all bombarding him with questions about Jared and McMurphy.

Jensen hadn’t laid eyes on McMurphy in two months: not trusting himself not to throttle the man for what he had done to Jared. He didn’t want to hinder Jared’s case in any way, and the death of the man to blame would unfortunately have done just that.

He also knew his momma – who had phoned the night before, wishing them well – wouldn’t approve of her son being a murderer.

After conducting a thorough check on the court, Jensen returned to the station where everyone was waiting to start rolling.

Mike and Tom would accompany the guards taking McMurphy, obviously Jensen and Chad would be escorting Jared.

Jensen could see the nervousness and fear on the young man’s face. Jensen was reminded of the fact that Jared would also be seeing McMurphy for the first time in a while. Unconsciously he shifted closer to the man.

When the squad car pulled up to a halt before the big steps, Jared looked positively nauseous.

Good thing that he didn’t eat much of that cake this morning.

There was a line of policemen on either side of the stairs, forming a barrier between them and the crowds of screaming people. There were placards being waved about, some supporting Jared and others supporting McMurphy.

Like a fucking football game.

There were two police before them, and two tailing them. Chad and Jensen had Jared sandwiched between them.

When they reached the top, and the large oak doors stood menacingly before them, Jared froze, backing up a bit; colliding with Jensen’s chest.

This was practically the first time Jared hadn’t leapt away from contact like it was an open flame and Jensen felt a warm buzz in his chest at the thought that Jared could get comfort from him. Was getting comfort from him.

Enjoying it while he could, he squeezed Jared’s shoulder lightly, “It’ll be over soon.”

Jared turned slightly, eyes locking on Jensen’s. They tilted slightly at the edges, something that Jensen had come to learn was Jared smiling without actually smiling. He smiled back, and with another squeeze, nudged Jared forward gently.

Taking in a deep breath, Jared stepped through the entrance and followed his police entourage towards the courtroom.

Jensen took the seat beside Jared, Mr. Waters – the lawyer – sat on Jared’s other side. The room was empty, Jensen having wanted to get Jared on stable ground before anyone else came in.

When Jared didn’t look so green, Jensen radioed Tom who was driving the second squad car: the one containing McMurphy.

“Are you okay?”

Jared stared incredulously at him and Jensen chuckled, “Fine, I guess ‘okay’ is the wrong word to use. Um, how about: are you managing?”

Jared stared down at his hands for a bit, and then he looked up again and nodded.

The jury filed in, and they didn’t look that bad. A few of them nodded at Jensen; Jared just kept his head down.

There was a bang as the door swung open, causing Jared to jump and Jensen to look up angrily. Then he stopped. It was the group escorting McMurphy. Jensen glanced at Jared. The man was shaking beside him.

Jensen would have done anything to stop Jared from looking up and into the eyes of his sister’s murderer, but he couldn’t.

Jared tensed, quivering with a combination of fear, anger and hate. All directed at the leering man being led in.

When McMurphy smiled at Jared, looking more like a snarl, Jared let out a soft whimper, and shuffled backwards along the bench, his back colliding with Jensen’s side.

Jensen wanted to wrap an arm around the man, but opted instead for laying a steady hand on the shoulder nearest to him, providing a comforting weight.

Jared seemed to be calming himself down, and although he remained pale, he relaxed somewhat under Jensen’s touch.

Then the judge entered, and everyone stood.

The trial began.

*

It hadn’t been resolved by the end of the day. Testimony had been given, backing up both defendants. Dr. Evans and three other doctors had told the jury what she had told Jensen about the bruising and how it couldn’t possibly have been self-injury.

McMurphy had then gotten his head of department to rave about him being such a dedicated doctor – not that Jensen saw how that related to the case.

Neighbours that had lived near Jared testified to him being ‘such a caring boy’, and how they had often seen him playing with his sister. They also stated that after their mom’s death, Jared would often show up with bruises or walking with a limp. They had asked him, but he always assured them it was from playing football.

Then they had stated that they hadn’t seen much of Jared, and when they did he’d looked starved, and in tattered clothes. They said he seemed to have lost his spark – except when they saw him with his sister, and then he was as sparkly as could be.

McMurphy had just rebutted all their statements by saying that Jared was a violent boy – always getting into fights with his football buddies. Then, Mr. Waters had called upon one of the ‘football buddies’, and he had contradicted everything that McMurphy said.

Not much progress had occurred, and Jensen knew that Jared was exhausted. He leaned heavily against Jensen as they made their way back to the squad car, and on the short drive, he fell asleep, slipping sideways along the seat to come to rest on Jensen’s lap.

Jensen nearly choked on the overwhelming warmth that filled him, and he couldn’t stop himself from gently running his fingers through the silky bangs.

The man let out a soft contented sigh, and tightened his arm that was currently wrapped around Jensen’s thigh, slightly.

Chad smirked through the rear-view mirror at him, and Jensen blushed. Fortunately he was out of sight of the lawyer, who was seated shotgun.

He almost begged Chad to drive them around for another block, wanting nothing more than to stay like this forever, but he didn’t.

Jensen felt the exact moment when Jared woke. The man tensed beneath his touch, and then a few seconds later, quickly pulled away. Not wanting the moment to be awkward, Jensen just smiled, “Come on sleepyhead, time for bed.”

Jared blinked uncertainly, but allowed himself to be steered out of the car.

*

The next day, it was Jensen’s turn to testify. He was the last one on the stand before Jared and McMurphy’s testimonies, which would be the following day.

He was extremely nervous, hoping that he didn’t screw it up.

He smiled at Jared, and got up to stand in the box. After swearing to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, he sat down.

Mr. Waters approached him, “So, Sergeant Ackles. You were in charge of the investigation against Mr. Padalecki. Is that correct?”

Jensen shook his head, “No, I was in charge of the homicide investigation over the death of Megan Padalecki.”

The lawyer nodded, “Can you please explain your interactions with Mr. Padalecki?”

Taking a deep breath, Jensen decided to follow through with his plan of telling it from the start.

“When I first saw Jared – Mr. Padalecki – it was from a diner. He fascinated me, and I watched him for a while. I noticed that he was nervous, pacing anxiously. Then I watched as he grabbed a lady’s purse and took off.

“Naturally, being a policeman, I headed out to chase after him. Then I saw him, in tears, begging the lady to forgive him, and handing back her purse. The lady is actually in this audience and I have no doubt that she can agree with me that nothing was taken.

“This man made me curious, so I decided to follow him. I found him at the foot of a tree in the nearby park. He didn’t notice me, and scrambled back when I touched his shoulder. I asked him why he had tried to rob the lady, and he just revealed a faded picture of a little girl. He was terrified of me, and seemed to be freezing, so I leant him my jacket and put money in the pocket.

“Then I left, asking him to meet me the following day. For some reason I wanted to help him, and I wondered if he would show. He didn’t. I don’t know why I returned the day after, but I did, and he was there, he was a nervous wreck.

“He mumbled apologies as he gave me a weird bundle. I realised it was my jacket. It was shredded and torn at the back. I grabbed his shoulder, and he cried in pain - that I knew I could not be the main cause of. I then discovered that he had marks on his back. You can see them on that screen.”

Images of Jared’s streaked back came up on the electronic projection, and Jensen continued.

“Naturally, I wanted to take him to hospital. He began begging me not to take him. I insisted, and that’s how we wound up with Dr. McMurphy. He seemed to know Jared, and told me that Jared had been his patient once, a long time previously. He was rough with Jared, and upon my confrontation, he revealed that Jared 'hurt himself to get pity and to make people care for him'.

“I felt hurt, betrayed, and I confess to shaking Mr. Padalecki roughly; a fact that I will never forgive myself for. He was crying and shaking, and begging me to stop, and that I was hurting him, but I had just learned that he was a fake, so I didn’t listen.

“Dr. McMurphy told me that Jared would be kept overnight, despite Dr. McMurphy’s dislike of this. When I asked him why, he said it was because Jared would probably have hurt himself again by the next day.

“When I showed up the next day, Jared also had these marks.”

The screen flickered, and then showed a slideshow of Jared’s injuries.

“I thought he had done it and Dr. McMurphy insisted that he had. I left the hospital, and didn’t see Jared again for a month or so.

“I was called to a crime scene, that of Megan Padalecki’s homicide. I did not know at the time that she was Jared’s sister. The state of her body was atrocious as you can all see.”

Jensen caught sight of Jared’s tear streaked face as he looked at his sister’s mutilated body.

Swallowing thickly, he continued, “When I realised who she was and that Jared had been found with her blood on him, at the scene, I automatically concluded that he had been responsible.

“The DNA sample matched and there was Dr. McMurphy’s testimony that Jared hurt himself and Jared was convenient, and we were all so sure he had done it, that we barely even looked for other suspects. He got a bad lawyer and was sentenced unfairly.

“It was only two months later that I visited him at the prison. He obviously didn’t have many words for me, so my visit with him was brief and frustrating. Then an inmate called to me from the yard. He asked whether I knew Jared. When he learned I did, he began gushing about what a great guy Jared was.

“I didn’t believe him, but then after another visit, in which I spoke to five such men and all of them told of how Jared had taken their beatings upon himself, I began to wonder who this man – who didn’t sound like a monster – was.

“Then I began to realise that all the evidence that had put Jared away, was purely circumstantial, and I requested that the case be re-opened.

“After questioning Dr. McMurphy again, he made a slip in his story of how Jared had been admitted to the hospital previously. That made my confidence in the doctor slip, so I went with photographs of Jared’s injuries, to another doctor. She told me that there was no way that Jared had done that to himself. You all heard her and several other doctors’ testimonies yesterday.

“Then one of my colleagues discovered the death certificate of Jared’s father, Gerald Padalecki, and a marriage certificate of Sharon Padalecki and Stephan McMurphy. A month after the marriage license was issued, Sharon died, leaving Stephan McMurphy as the sole legal guardian of the Padalecki children.

“That man, seated over there is Stephan McMurphy. We have statements from neighbours stating how Jared became scarce after his mother’s death. The truth that they don’t know is that Jared was practically kicked out the house. On the occasions that he was there, his stepfather beat and raped him. We found evidence of this is the form of blood in the cement of the basement floor.

“Jared’s sister was ill and she was ignorant of the abuse her brother was receiving. Jared had to make sure she had enough medicine and food, all the while with her thinking it was all due to their stepfather. This continued until Jared wasn’t around when Dr. McMurphy was in a bad mood. The accused turned on the six-year old girl and left her on the floor of the kitchen.

“Jared had to find his sister like that... If you found your only loved one lying limp on the floor, wouldn’t you check for a pulse and hold her close to you while she died? Would you be concerned about whether or not you were leaving DNA or fingerprints on her? I don’t think so, and so Jared unknowingly provided us with the samples we need to pin everything on him; something that will probably haunt me to the end of my days.”

Jensen realised his cheeks were damp, but he didn’t care.

Mr. Waters got up again, “Okay, and since then you have matched Mr. McMurphy’s DNA samples as the unknown third party whose DNA was on Megan? Is that correct?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

“And you have no doubt in your mind that Mr. Padalecki is innocent?”

Looking directly across the room, locking eyes with Jared, he said firmly, “Without the slightest doubt. I think anyone who spends a single day with Jared would realise that he hasn’t got a cruel bone in his body.”

Mr. Waters nodded, “Thank you, that is all for now.”

“Wait, I have one more thing I would like to show you.”

All eyes turned to the screen, and then suddenly Jared and the laughing girl on his shoulders came into view.

“Look at that picture, and tell me whether you think that man murdered that girl.”

“Thank you Mr Ackles, now I’ll hand you over to Mr. Shins for questioning.”

Mr. Waters took his seat beside Jared, and McMurphy’s lawyer stood up.

“Now, Mr. Ackles, my file here states that you are homosexual?”

Jensen scowled, “I do not see the relevance.”

“Indeed, I find it quiet relevant. Can you honestly say that you do not find Mr. Padalecki attractive?”

“I…” Jensen opened his mouth to deny it, but found he couldn’t. “I admit, I do find him attractive, but that has no bearing in this matter whatsoever.”

“I disagree. Do you not find yourself drawn to him, and defending him when you know he is in fact guilty?”

Jensen shook with anger, “Are you implying that just because I find him attractive, I would assist him illegally? That would also imply that any female lawyer defending a man such as Jared would do the same, or that any straight male lawyer defending an attractive woman would as well? Or are you implying that merely because I am gay that I have screwed up morals?

“I found him attractive two months ago as well! If you recall, I sent him off to a maximum security prison. How does that fit in?”

Mr. Shins shrugged, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe he rejected you or something, and only now has agreed to sleep with you in return for you opening up the case again.”

“Objection, your honour, Mr. Shins is merely making up a defence that he knows has no grounds whatsoever, and is blatantly disregarding Mr. Ackles’ rights. The witness is not on trial here.”

“Sustained.”

Mr. Waters sat down again.

Mr. Shins paced before the jury, “So, Sergeant Ackles you stated that all the evidence against Mr Padalecki was circumstantial. Do you not think the same can be said against Dr. McMurphy?”

Jensen shook his head, “Dr. McMurphy lied in a court of law. He stated that Jared had hurt himself, and acted as though he was merely the doctor, when in truth he was his stepfather. Do you not think that might have come up?”

Mr. Shins walked back to his seat.

“One last question, your honour, Sergeant Ackles, if Mr. Padalecki were to offer you sex as an exchange for you to plant false evidence on Dr. McMurphy’s basement floor, would you accept it?”

Jensen clenched his fists and started to go after the lawyer, but the judge said, “Restrain yourself, Sergeant. Mr. Shins, I’m warning you, any more inappropriateness and you will be replaced.”

“Withdrawn, your honour, I have no more questions for the witness,” Mr. Shins nodded and sat down.

Jensen was still shaking with anger when he sat down beside Jared.

He didn’t dare look at the man, afraid of what he would see in those eyes. He would die if the fear and distrust had returned.

*

That night Jensen couldn’t sleep. He kept tossing and turning, until finally he got up and ran out of his house, not even bothering to change from his sweatpants and shirt. All he took were his keys.

Jensen waved to the guard on duty, and let himself in the station. The inside was quiet and in the darkness everything seemed sinister.

He made his way down the dark stairs, the silence reverberating off the walls menacingly.

It was only when he was nearing Jared’s cell that he heard the whimpers. Soft sobs and cries that seemed to echo down the hallway. Jensen quickened his pace.

Jared was huddled in the corner, arms shielding himself from an invisible foe, and pleading for whatever haunted him to stop.

Jensen quickly unlocked the cell door, and shutting it carefully behind him so as not to make a bang, he cautiously approached Jared.

“Please… please stop… Don’t…J…Jensen… please… please… stop…”

Jensen felt nausea rising as he remembered those words.

Jared was having a nightmare: about him. He was the monster in Jared’s dreams.

He sat down on the floor and forced back the tears that were threatening to fall as he watched helplessly as his image abused Jared in his nightmare.

He turned his back to the bed, squeezing his eyes shut and using his hands to try and block out the sounds of Jared’s sobbing, he muttered a mantra of apologies, not caring that no one was there to listen.

He didn’t know how long he remained like that, but suddenly he felt a cool hand just resting on the nape of his neck. He jerked up to see Jared seated beside him, leaning against the bed.

Jared stared at the wall before them, his hand not leaving the nape of Jensen’s neck; instead it began to massage it softly.

“We’re quite a pair aren’t we?” Jared said wryly.

Jensen let out a half laugh, half sob.

“Why are you here?”

“I don’t know,” Jensen whispered brokenly.

“Why were you upset?”

Jensen’s voice hitched, “I hurt you.”

Jared smiled bitterly at the wall, “Many people have hurt me.”

Jensen let out a sob, “Not me. Never should’ve been me.”

“Why does it matter so much to you?”

“I… I’m not like them. I don’t want to be like them. I don’t want to be the one who hurts you. Not in real life. Not in your nightmares. Never. Please, please don’t make me be one of them. I never want to hurt you. Please believe me.”

There was a long pause, Jared’s hand never ceasing its relaxing kneading of Jensen’s neck.

Then in a quiet voice, Jared whispered, “I believe you.”

Jensen sat up, “You do? Why? All I’ve ever done is hurt you.”

Jared smiled slightly, “You lent me your jacket,” he said that as though it answered all of Jensen’s questions.

Jared got to his feet, his hand dropping from Jensen’s neck, “Tomorrow’s a big day. We should try and get some sleep. You can stay or you can go; whichever you prefer.”

He lay down on the cot, pulling his thin blankets around him, his eyes sliding shut.

Jensen sat there, reeling from the trust the man had just offered him. Jared had just given him permission to be there while he slept, he trusted Jensen to be around him in the dead of night with no one within calling distance. This may not have seemed like much, but to Jensen it meant the world.

Jensen stretched out on the floor, using his arm as pillow. He didn’t care that he would wake up with some mega aches in the morning. He was just happy to be near Jared.

*

He was woken by a huff of laughter and he opened his eyes to the most beautiful sight in the world, except it was upside down.

Jared was peering down at him from the bed; when Jensen sat up, rubbing his face sleepily, he could see Jared’s eyes were sparkling.

“What so funny?” he mumbled, still half asleep.

With a smile, that made whatever teasing Jared was about to do worth it, Jared gestured, “You stayed.”

“Bingo, genius,” Jensen said, wincing at the ache in his back.

“You stayed. On the floor.”

Jensen rolled his eyes, “Yeah, so?”

Then he realised what was so funny: He was lying on the floor of a prison cell. He was a police sergeant. He was beside the bed of an inmate and he was only wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. The inmate in question was also currently peering down at him with soft, sleepy eyes and messy hair, also only wearing a shirt and sweatpants himself.

Jensen burst out laughing.

Then he stopped abruptly and checked his watch, “Oh, shit!”

He got to his feet and raced to the door, accidentally forgetting the keys on the table. It was only then that he realised the immensity of what had happened between them. Jared had trusted Jensen not to hurt him and Jensen had trusted Jared not to escape. If Jared had been any other inmate Jensen would probably have woken up – if he woke at all – in a deserted cell.

Grabbing the keys, Jensen mumbled a sleepy, “See you later,” and raced out the cell.

Jensen had to get out of there immediately. After what Mr. Shins had inferred the previous day, it wouldn’t do for Jensen to be seen in this state, coming out of Jared’s cell.

By some divine power, Jensen managed to run all the way to his house, unnoticed even by the not-so-alert guard.

He breathed out a sigh of relief when his door was shut safely behind him. He grabbed a shower, pulled on clean clothes and headed back to the station. He was stiff all over, but there was nothing he could do about that.

*

Jared’s eyes twinkled when they caught Jensen’s and Jensen had to turn away to keep from laughing.

After corrupting the squad car – i.e. Chad – to take a detour to a drive-in, the car was filled with the sounds of satisfied munching, and the weight of the court day – the final day – lifted slightly.

“Are you ready for this?” asked Jensen, trying not to watch as Jared licked his fingers.

Jared stared out the window, his face slack.

When he turned to Jensen, his eyes were resigned. “Yeah, may as well get this over with.”

*

“Mr. Padalecki, could you please make your way to the booth?”

Jensen squeezed the man’s trembling shoulder. It was all he could do.

Mr. Shins had the first drilling.

“So, why did you do it?”

Jared looked puzzled, “Um, do what?”

“Kill your sister, of course?”

The hazel eyes widened, “I didn’t.”

“Objection, leading the witness,” Mr. Waters declared.

“Sustained,” answered the judge.

“Okay, then, let's ask something else… How did you seduce Sergeant Ackles?”

Jared’s eyes narrowed, “I never. I didn’t do anything of the sort.”

“You recall you swore to tell the truth and nothing but the truth?”

“That’s what I’m doing.”

“Indeed.”

“Mr. Padalecki, how long did you live with Mr. McMurphy before you were ‘kicked out’?”

“One year.”

“Okay, and in all that time, did anyone notice that you were being ‘beaten’?”

“No, he made me lie, said he would hurt Meg.”

“He made you lie? Oh, how convenient. So in all that time, you were the only one who knew he was ‘hurting’ you?”

“Yes.”

“So no one saw anything, no one heard anything, your own sister didn’t even notice?”

Jared turned to look out the window, his eyes glistening, “No, she’d lost everyone else; I didn’t want to take away her stepdad. Not when he never hurt her. Not when she cared for him. I didn’t want her to think the world was cruel.”

“Right, okay, let me just get this straight: So in a year, a whole year, you were the only one who knew he was ‘hurting’ you?”

“Yes.”

“How is your mental state, Mr. Padalecki?”

“My mental state, what do you mean?”

“I mean, don’t you think it might just all be in your mind? I mean, Mr. McMurphy is a certified doctor. His job entails healing people. Why would he hurt them?”

“He said it made him feel better to hurt me, made him feel powerful knowing that he could snuff out my life at any time. He said he would tell my sister I had abandoned her, and then no one would even notice I was gone.”

There were tears trickling down Jared’s face, but he held his head high.

“Ahh, so here come the patented Padalecki tears. Does it bother you, how easy it is for you to cry? Is that one of your methods of getting sympathy?”

Jared shook his head, “I don’t give a fuck about sympathy.”

“My, my, what a temper, have you always been that heated; that quick to fly off the rails?”

“Fuck you.”

“You see ladies and gentlemen. Now we can see Mr. Padalecki for what he really is: a manipulator with a temper. So tell me Mr. Padalecki, did your sister do something that angered you? Something that made you lose it? Maybe you just got into a blind rage and by the time you finished shaking her, it was too late? Was that it? Was it an accident?”

“I didn’t touch her.”

“Oh, but that’s a lie Mr. Padalecki. We have your fingerprints and your DNA all over her.”

Jared wiped a hand over his eyes, “I… I came into the house. I saw blood on the refrigerator handle and I called the cops. I hung up then because I heard her. I heard her crying. I saw her on the floor, covered in… oh, God… she was covered in blood but she was still breathing.

“I tried to see if I could help her, but she was barely breathing. After checking her pulse and knowing she was dying, I had to hold her in my arms. I had to tell her that it was going to be okay… She kept going on about how she was late for her music lesson, and I had to tell her that I would give her a lift.

“She asked me why she felt so tired and cold; and I had to tell her that mom and dad were calling her, and that she would see them soon. She… she asked me why I was leaving her alone, she asked me to go with her. She told me not to leave her alone. I promised… I promised I would follow her. I told her I would see her there.

“She died in my arms. Her last words were, ‘You better.’

"Then I saw the knife, and I picked it up, I had never broken a promise to Meg, and I wasn’t planning on doing so. That’s about where I was when the cops burst in.”

Jared looked up at the lawyer through tears. In a bitter voice he said, “So, yeah, sorry I got my prints on her, but, well, you know, I wasn’t really thinking that clearly.”

“That’ll be all for now, we’ll continue after a short recess.” The judge hammered on the desk, and people began filing out. Jared didn’t move from where his head was buried in his arms. Jensen also remained where he was.

Shakily, Jared got to his feet, and made his way towards his seat. He slid onto the bench beside Jensen, and just fell into the older man’s arms.

Jensen’s own tears filled his eyes, and he buried his face in Jared’s hair to hide them, as the young man trembled in his arms, silently sobbing into his chest. He held Jared tightly, pulling him even closer. “Hey, shhh, it’ll be okay. You’ll see, after today it’ll all be over.”

When Jared had fallen still, curled up against Jensen’s side, neither of them showed any signs of moving. The kind-hearted guard stationed at the door gave them a heads up, “Recess is over.”

Jensen smiled over Jared’s mop of hair, not yet letting the man out of his grasp. The guard coughed, “Um, they’re outside now.”

Jared pulled away from Jensen’s chest slowly, shifting down and away from him, not looking up into his eyes.

*

“Mr. Padalecki, please resume your position.”

Jared got up and made his way to the booth once more.

“Mr. Shins, do you have any further questions for Mr. Padalecki?”

“No, your honour.”

“Very well then, Mr. Waters, your turn.”

Jensen watched as the lawyer made his way up to stand before Jared.

“So, Mr. Padalecki, why don’t you tell us a bit about how Mr. McMurphy treated you?”

“When?”

“Maybe you could give us a general overview, just so we get the picture?”

Jared nodded, “When he first came, he was great, the perfect stepdad. Obviously he could never replace my real dad for me, but Meg hadn’t known dad as long, so she adopted Stephan as hers.

It was about six months later that he became violent. My mom died of an overdose of sleeping pills, apparently suicide, but no one ever checked what the bruises on her jaw were from. I knew it wasn’t suicide. I knew how much money was in the will.

“Stephan knew that I had figured out what he had done, so, when Megan was at a piano lesson, he tied me up in the basement, beat me with a stick and forced me to perform oral sex on him by cutting off my air supply.

“He told me to tell Meg that I had fallen into an icy river and had gotten a cold – which explained my sore throat – and that I had been tossed around before I managed to get out – which explained the huge bruises.”

Jared gave a watery smile, “She called me a big clumsy oaf, and made me some hot cocoa to help make me better.”

“The second time it happened was because he hadn’t been buying Meg her medicine. She needed it for her heart condition, and the longer she went without it, the worse it was. I confronted him, telling him he had to take responsibility seeing as though he had control of all of my parent’s money.

“He called me an insolent brat and told me that if I cared so much about her, then I would have to get it myself. The worst part was that he acted like the model father to Meg. I had to listen to her saying how great he was, when meanwhile…

“I began working to get money to keep the house stocked with food and Meg’s medicine; he was stingy about every tiny bit of money he spent on ‘caring’ for us.

“Whenever he was angry or drunk or just plain in the mood, he used to send Meg off to her friends, and would beat and torture me, always touching. The fourth time was when he sexually violated me. He didn’t prepare me at all. He just raped me.

“When I couldn’t walk the next day, I had to tell Meg that I had fallen out of a tree and landed on a branch. She believed every single fucking thing I said.”

“It became a regular thing, and I couldn’t do a thing about it, because he began spreading rumours about me being a rude teenager, who got into fights and hurt himself. I couldn’t tell anyone the truth, because he had custody of Meg. If he’d ever laid a finger on her then I would have done all I could – even kidnap her – to keep her safe. But as it was, he was the perfect dad to her, and I didn’t want to take that from her, so I just kept quiet.”

“He kicked me out to sleep in the streets after he started whipping me. Whip marks are a bit harder to explain, so he would just grab me after I came to visit my sister, and then when he was finished he would dump me somewhere on the side of the road.

“This carried on until, just over four months ago, when Sergeant Ackles saw me trying to rob that lady.”

Jared let out a dry chuckle, numb and detached just like the rest of his words had been, “I don’t know why I thought I could do it, but I had just been fired from my job for not showing up – I hadn’t shown up because I had been unconscious from the pain in my back where Stephan had whipped me.

“My sister was getting sicker, and I couldn’t find any job vacancies anywhere. I begged Stephan to get her the medicine, but he just laughed. So I did the only thing I could think of.

“And found I couldn’t do it. Then the sergeant found me at the park, and he loaned me his jacket and gave me money. I thought he was an angel I had dreamed up.”

Jared sent a fleeting smile towards Jensen, before continuing.

“I managed to buy my sister’s medication, and get her some good food as well, but unfortunately, Stephan got home before I could get out. He sent Meg to her music teacher, and then he asked where I had gotten the jacket.

“I didn’t want to tell him, I didn’t want him to know about the angel. He must have seen how much the jacket meant to me, because he decided to whip and beat me with it on. Usually he preferred to whip me while I was naked – maybe it made it easier for him to fuck me afterwards, I don’t know.

“When he was done, I couldn’t move, but I didn’t care about that. He had ruined the angel’s jacket. The angel wouldn’t want to see me again. I thought the angel would be angry.

“I couldn’t move the next day, I just stayed where he had dumped me, somewhere at the side of the road. That night I managed to move again, it took me over three hours to make my way to the park. I collapsed at the tree, and just hoped the angel would come back.

“He did, but when he saw the jacket, he was angry just as I thought he would be. He had every reason to be, but then he noticed the whip marks, and dragged me to the hospital. He thought he was doing the right thing; I don’t blame him at all. But the hospital was where Stephan worked, and he was on duty.

“Obviously Stephan was mad at me for being there, mad at me for being brought there by some stranger. He fed the angel the same story he fed anybody who asked, and the angel believed him.”

Jared lowered his gaze to his hands, “The angel was angry, very angry. He thought I had betrayed him. It wasn’t his fault at all; he shook me; that’s all.

“Then he left, and that was the worst part. I thought my angel had disappeared and wouldn’t come back again. That night Stephan visited me in the ward, and he made me understand to never enter the hospital again.

“The angel came back. I was so happy to see him, but so scared that he hated me. He did hate me. He thought I had hurt myself again. He left, and that time I felt sure it was for good.

“Then, two months or so later, I came to give Meg more medicine, but… there was blood. It was too late. He had been drinking a lot, and he had waited for me to show up, usually he knew when I would be arriving – due to Meg’s medicine supply. But I had been robbed so it took me a day or so longer to put together the money. He couldn’t wait that long.

“Then I saw the angel again. But he wasn’t like an angel. He scared me. He didn’t like me. He hated me. I always knew I was worthless, but to be hated by an angel was horrible. He sent me to a dark place, and I tried to be good. But people kept hurting me. Eventually I realised that God and the angel had given up on me, so I just tried to save as many people as I could from suffering the same as me.

“When the angel came back, he still hated me. I hated God for abandoning me, but I couldn’t hate the angel. But his hate was so deep that it scared me. The next time the angel came, he was strange. He was crying. I didn’t know what to do. I was scared because I knew he would leave again.”

There was a bored huff, and Mr. Shins said, “Relevance your honour?”

“Shut up Rick, go on Mr. Padalecki,” said the riveted judge.

“But he took me from that place, and he’s trying to let people know that I didn’t kill Meg. And he was nice to me. He visited me in the cell. He treated me normally, so did all the others at the station, but he was always there.

“And he hasn’t left yet, and I’m hoping that he won’t but I know that as soon as this is over, he’ll want me to leave.”

Then Jared turned his gaze on Mr. Shins, “And yes, I know that Sergeant Ackles is not an angel. I am not deluded, nor am I mentally ill. I merely used angel as a metaphor, hopefully you know what that is?”

“Any further questions?” The amused judge asked.

Mr. Waters shook his head, “No, your honour.”

“Okay, we will continue with Mr. McMurphy after lunch.”

Once again everyone left, and this time it was Jensen who moved to where Jared was sitting, cheek pressed against the wood of the stand.

“Hey.”

Jared avoided his gaze.

Jensen brushed his fingers through the moisture on Jared’s cheeks.

Softly, he said, “Can I ever be your angel again? After everything I’ve done?”

Hesitant hazel eyes rose up and locked with Jensen’s. “You never stopped.”

Jensen smiled softly, “Can I fly?”

Jared’s eyes crinkled, “You can try.”

“Hey, I think this is nearly all over; just a few more hours. You’ve got the judge and jury in the palm of your hand.”

Jared’s eyes dulled, “Yeah.”

“Jay, what’s the matter? I thought you’d be ecstatic.”

Staring out the window, Jared was quiet for a long while; then he murmured, “I’ve got nothing left. Nowhere to go to… Nowhere to hide… No one to tell me that I’ll be okay…. No one who cares what happens to me. It doesn’t really matter what happens to me.”

Jensen felt his heart clench in pain. He nudged him, “Hey, that’s not true. You have me.”

Jared smiled sadly, “You’re an angel. Angels can’t fly around with demons clinging to their wings. Besides, I bet you guys are dying to see the last of me.”

“No, we’re actually not.”

Jared’s eyes didn’t shift their gaze from the window. The wind-tossed trees were reflected in the shimmering moisture the hazel orbs housed.

Jensen was just reaching a hand out to touch the man’s shoulder, when the door banged open, and Mike bounded in, followed by an embarrassed Tom and untidy Chad.

“There’s our boy,” Mike said loudly. “We brought you lunch, ’cause we knew you wouldn’t want to move, lazy buggers.”

He was grinning as he tossed them each a wrapped burger.

Tom settled down quietly opposite Jared, “You did good, kid.”

“He’s that old, he can actually get away with calling you that,” Chad said smirking.

“Shut up,” Tom retorted.

Jensen smiled at them, ignoring the stab of annoyance at his and Jared’s conversation being interrupted.

“Yeah, just think, this’ll all be over really soon, then we can all go back to our normal lives,” Mike continued innocently.

Jensen was the only one who noticed the increasing sheen to Jared’s eyes. Mike just continued, “Man, I’m going to have a shower for so long, it’ll drown everything away. I just want to forget all this shit.”

Jared stood up suddenly, calling to the guard stationed by the door, “Can I go to the bathroom?”

The guard nodded, “Come on, I’ll take you.”

“Wait,” Jensen said, reaching a hand to catch Jared’s arm.

It hurt when Jared pulled away, more than it should have.

Jensen watched, his chest aching, as Jared followed the guard out the room without so much as a backwards glance.

Tom caught Jensen’s eye, brow raised in question. Jensen just shook his head.

It physically ached for Jensen not to race out after Jared. He had to grip the edge of his seat painfully tight, his eyes never leaving the door, as he waited for it to open.

Chad whacked him on the head, “Dude, I know he’s hot and all, but you seriously shouldn’t be staring after him like a lovesick puppy.”

Cheeks stained dark, Jensen mumbled, “It’s not like that.”

Mike rolled his eyes, “Right, and we all believe that.”

Tom just fixed a steady gaze on him, “Be careful, if you hurt him, you might never get another chance again. He trusts you… for now. Don’t ruin that.”

Staring down at his hands, Jensen mumbled, "You think I don't know that?”

They were interrupted by the door being opened, and Jensen’s eyes snapped back towards it. He ignored Mike’s mutter of, “Lovesick puppy.”

Jared’s face was damp and his eyes were shielded as though he had regained his composure. He didn’t make eye contact with any of them; he just settled down in the seat beside Jensen and grabbed his burger.

Barely minutes after Jared had scrunched up his napkin, the door opened and the lunch break was declared over.

Jensen bit the inside of his cheek to try and distract himself from the overwhelming concern and affection he felt for Jared, who was sitting rigidly at their table.

Mr Waters slid in beside them, smiling at Jared, “Don’t worry, this’ll be over soon.”

Jared gave a smile – which Jensen noticed was a completely fake one – and nodded, “Let’s hope.”

“All rise.”

“Mr. McMurphy, please make your way to the stand.”

*

“So, yeah, that’s when I first noticed he was hurting himself. He would go out of his way to insult guys who were bigger and heavier than him, just so he would get in a fight.

“I caught him about to cut his wrists once, and when I tried to stop him, he became violent. He used to terrify Megan, but she was such a forgiving girl that she always gave him another chance. When he started hurting her, I kicked him out.”

Jensen was taut with anger. Jared was shaking beside him. Relief filled him when Jared didn’t shrug off the hand he laid on the trembling shoulder. That was something at least.

McMurphy had been spouting lies fluidly the whole afternoon. And he wasn’t finished yet.

“He used to come and try to steal her medication. He used it as an addictive substance. I tried to stop him, but each time he made off with some and I saw him the following day with injuries coating him. I think he went to a club or something and hooked up with other sadistic, disturbed young men like himself.

“When Sergeant Ackles brought him to the hospital, I lied and said I only knew Jared from the previous time he was admitted because I was ashamed of him. I was ashamed and scared that I would be blamed for the monster that he was. I didn’t want Megan taken from me. She was my baby girl, so I lied.

“Then, when Jared… killed little Megan, I lied again, because I wanted him to be punished. I wanted him to suffer for what he had done to his own sister. It was wrong, I know, but if you put yourself in my shoes, wouldn’t you have done the same?

“Don’t be fooled by his innocent appearance or his easy tears and youthfulness. See him, as he really is, a monster who brutally murdered an innocent child, a child who loved him. Don’t let him get away with that.”

When the jury left the room, Jensen was feeling nauseous. That had been a good testimony. Not even Mr. Waters could get anything good from the questioning. Things weren’t looking as certain as they had before.

He gently rubbed Jared’s shoulder, revelling in the knowledge that Jared was allowing him to. The room sat in silence, no one quite certain when the verdict would be made.

In such a quiet voice that Jensen nearly missed it, Jared asked, “What’ll happen if I lose?”

Jensen’s hand froze its circling motion; then it started kneading again, “We’d keep fighting.”

When Jared relaxed slightly, leaning into his touch, Jensen nearly broke out into song – manly songs of course.

It was about half an hour later when the jury returned. Jensen took in a deep breath, squeezing Jared’s shoulder slightly, leaving his hand where it was and watched as the piece of paper containing the outcome of Jared’s life in its ink was handed to the judge.

The judge read the verdict, her face revealing nothing, and then handed it back to the guard to return it to the jury.

The jury member stood up, and painfully slowly, began reading, “For the case of the homicide of the six year old girl – Megan Padalecki, we the jury have come to a unanimous decision.”

Jared leaned closer to Jensen, all breaths were being held, the foreman of the jury was being exceeding cruel.

“The sentence of twenty-five years, on the charge on first degree manslaughter, is combined with another fifteen years on the grounds of child abuse.”

It could still go either way.

“We, the jury, find Mr. Stephan McMurphy, guilty on all counts. We proclaim Jared Padalecki innocent and free of all charges. The Padalecki residence and all remaining assets therefore will be transferred to the possession of Mr. Padalecki, legal recipient. Before God and all who witness here today, so we say.”

 

Jensen felt mountains of pressure lifting off his shoulders, and he laughed happily, “You’re free,” he said to the numb Jared.

Jared turned slowly to face him; there was a stunned pause and then his face broke out into a grin.

Suddenly his arms were full with a warm body pressed against him. Jensen hugged tightly back, feeling the tension slip out of the both of them.

The court was dismissed, and Jensen tugged Jared by the arm, “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Smiling at the guard, Jensen dragged Jared through the crowds, wanting to avoid the guys; he wanted Jared to himself, at least for a while.

Jensen ran down the road, pulling a laughing Jared behind him.

“What’re you doing? Where are we going?” Jared asked through delirious chuckles.

Glancing over his shoulder at the man, Jensen nearly fell flat on his face. Jared was flushed, and his eyes were bright, his smile absolutely heart-stopping. He looked so damn gorgeous and innocent that Jensen had to wrench his gaze away so he didn’t maul the poor unsuspecting young man.

“I don’t know,” he replied honestly.

He kept a hold of Jared’s hand, even though it wasn’t at all necessary, and the other man never pulled away.

Then Jensen realised they had arrived at the park, where it all had started.

They settled down on the bench in front of the pond.

“So, how does it feel to be a free man?”

Jared smiled through his bangs, making Jensen nearly swallow his tongue.

“Good. I guess. I mean, I never quite expected to be dragged all across town by a madman the moment I was released, but ....”

Chuckling, Jensen said, “Oh, so I’m a madman now? Huh, so much for saving you from the deranged gang of hooligans who would have dragged you to the nearest bar to get drunk.”

Jared smiled, “They’re going to be pissed.”

Catching Jared’s eye and smiling, Jensen said, “It’s worth it.”

The hazel eyes widened slightly, “Oh how’s that?”

Jensen shrugged, “Okay fine. I have a confession to make…I really like ducks.”

“Ducks?”

There was a pause, and then Jared burst out into laughter, “If you’re trying to convince me that you’re not crazy, well, I’m sorry to tell you but, it’s not working.”

Jensen pouted, “No?”

“No.”

“Damn.”

Still smiling, they turned to watch the ducks for a bit, well, Jared watched the ducks; Jensen was too busy watching how Jared’s eyelashes cast adorable shadows across his cheeks. Also how Jared’s lips looked so soft and delicious, that Jensen felt the urge to touchtastenownownow.

He had to grip the rough sides of the bench to prevent any possible molesting.

“Ouch! Shit, fuck!” he cursed as pain shot through him.

He glanced down at the culprit, and realised he had been speared by a big splinter in his right hand, courtesy of the bench.

“Are you okay?” Jared’s concerned voice asked.

Nodding, “Yeah, just a splinter.”

He started to try and pry the confounded thing out, but found it difficult having to use only his left hand.

“Here, let me get it for you.”

Jared shifted closer to him, pulling Jensen’s hand, palm-up, onto his lap. He cradled it there carefully, his face frozen in concentration.

Having an even closer close-up of everything he’d ever wanted, Jensen found himself wishing his injury was more serious so that Jared would keep that near for a little longer.

Jared’s fingers were gentle as they carefully squeezed his skin. When Jensen caught a whiff of Jared’s scent he let out a gasp - it was fresh, with a tang of soap and the smell rain leaves after it has past - causing Jared to freeze his ministrations, “Are you okay? Am I hurting you?”

Not trusting himself to speak in decipherable sentences, not when all he really wanted to say were foolish things that he wouldn’t be able to take back, Jensen just shook his head.

Scooting even closer so that he had a better view of Jensen’s hand, Jared had no idea what he was doing to the older man.

When Jared looked up triumphantly, “I got it,” his eyes were shining happily, and his lips were stretched into a wide grin, and Jensen found himself being turned into jelly, Jensen also discovered that jelly doesn’t have any restraint, and that’s the only explanation for why he was leaning forwards, closing the short distance between them.

Hazel orbs never flickered, but when Jensen pressed his lips against Jared’s, the eyes slipped shut.

Jensen paused, waiting to be shoved away, his heart beating erratically, and his hands clutching loosely at Jared’s.

What happened next was stolen directly from one of Jensen’s better dreams, if not his best one. Jared let out a sigh, a simple puff of air against Jensen’s lips, and his hand came up, until it was lightly curled around Jensen’s jaw, a touch so light that Jensen – needing more – covered the hand with his own, pressing it firmly against his skin.

His other hand slipped around Jared’s neck, coming to rest just over the other man’s nape, playing with the soft curls. Slowly, ever so slowly, Jensen began to move his mouth, pressing gentle kisses over Jared’s lips, his body shifting closer to Jared’s, seeking more contact.

Jared’s eyes remained closed, but his thumb began smoothing circles gently over Jensen’s cheek. Jensen tilted his head slightly, leaning more into the touch.

When Jared’s mouth opened slightly, Jensen let out a desperate sound, muffled by Jared’s mouth, and pulled the man even closer. He ran his tongue over Jared’s lips before gently slipping in, prying the warm mouth even wider. His tongue began exploring, and he let out a moan at finally being allowed to taste Jared.

“Please…” he said hoarsely, voice low and thick, “Please, do something.”

Jared’s hand came to cup Jensen’s cheek, and the man finally began to kiss back. Desperate and heated, mirroring Jensen’s need for more.

Somehow, his voice was still functioning, “Please… your eyes… need to see… eyes.”

Slowly the hazel orbs were revealed, with no sign of fear in them, locking with Jensen’s as the younger man continued to kiss back. Unable to hold back any longer, Jensen began moving closer, gently pressing Jared down to lie on the bench. Jensen followed, one hand holding himself up, as he gazed down at the gorgeous figure laid out beneath him.

His other hand was cupping the back of Jared’ head: cradling it to prevent it from being banged into the bench. Slowly, he began lowering himself to lay flush over the other man.

He could feel the heat of Jared’s chest through their shirts, and he realised with a grin that they were still wearing suits (smartness was essential in court). He slipped his hand up to fiddle with Jared’s tie, tugging and loosening it, before starting to undo Jared’s shirt buttons.

He broke their heated kiss, and pulled back slightly to watch as – with each button he undid – more of Jared’s gorgeous skin came into view. He growled at the sight, and began kissing and biting lightly at Jared’s bare collarbone.

Then he pulled back once more, determined to see the rest of Jared. He had unbuttoned about a quarter of the length, when there was laughter from nearby.

They snapped their heads around to see a chuckling old lady, she grinned, “Don’t stop on my behalf. Just maybe next time I would suggest you get a room.”

Jensen scrambled back off of Jared, falling off the bench landing face down in the dust, blushing furiously as he got to his feet brushing the dirt from himself. Jared was sitting upright again, his face red as he stared at his feet.

Sending the now retreating lady’s back a glare, Jensen settled down beside Jared on the bench.

Jared’s eyes were now on the lake, not revealing anything.

Jensen wrenched his own lingering gaze from Jared’s partially exposed chest, as he too turned to look at the lake.

He coughed, “We should get back, the others will think I kidnapped you.”

Barely blinking, Jared said, “Yeah.”

*

The police station was noisy, filled with cheerful conversation and congratulations.

They all gave Jared huge applause, all of them having grown fond of the young man, and then Jeff came out.

“Jared, finally, I should have guessed Sergeant Ackles would be the reason for your disappearing act.” Jeff sent a playfully stern glance at Jensen; then he turned back to Jared.

“Here’re all the documents, containing the deeds to the Padalecki house and the account details, which we strongly suggest you change. And some cash to get you started, courtesy of the federal government as compensation for your wrongful imprisonment. The rest will be issued by cheque. Your lawyer said to contact him if you have any further questions, but apart from that, you’re a free man.”

Jared nodded, his eyes empty, “Okay, thanks guys, I’ll be off now.”

Jeff glanced at Jensen, but Jensen had no clue what to say.

After Jared had said goodbye to everyone, he asked, “Can I use your phone to call a cab?”

Sending a bewildered glance towards Jeff, Jensen said, “What, don’t be stupid, we’ll give you a lift.”

Jared shook his head, “It’s easier if I just call a cab.”

Frowning, Jensen insisted, “At least let me give you a lift.”

Raising his eyes to meet Jensen’s, Jared agreed, “If that’s what you want.”

*

The drive was in silence, with Jensen throwing Jared worried glances every now and then.

There was a painful feeling in Jensen’s chest as though an icy hand was squeezing the life out of his heart.

He didn’t want this to be goodbye. He didn’t want to have to go through a single day without seeing Jared. And he hoped Jared didn’t either.

When he pulled up before the Padalecki house, Jared had turned white. Jensen realised with a jolt that this was where his sister had been murdered; this was where Jared had been beaten and abused. The house held all these memories, and Jared was going to live there alone.

Before he even realised what he was saying, he blurted out, “Come stay with me.”

Jared turned, “What?”

Thinking over the words and realising he meant them, he repeated, “Come stay with me?”

The hazel eyes blinked, “You want me to come and live with you?”

Biting his lip self-consciously, Jensen said, “Well… yeah, I mean. You don’t have to but, well… it would be nice, and you could sell this house and yeah….”

There was a long silence, and then Jared turned his eyes back to the house. In a quiet whisper, he replied, “I’d like that. I’d like that very much.”

*

“Damn it, Mike, it’s not like that!”

A completely unconvinced, “Uh huh,” came from the bald man.

“Mike,” Jensen growled.

“Okay, okay, if you say so,” still in a completely unconvinced tone.

“Tom. Tell him it’s not like that!”

“Mike, it’s not like that,” said Tom loyally as he took a seat beside them. Then he asked, “What’s not like that’?”

Mike filled him in. Tom turned his concerned gaze to Jensen, “Just… not that I’m saying anything, but just make sure it’s what he wants as well, not just that he feels he owes you something.”

A silence fell between them, Jensen getting paler by the second.

“Oh, God, you think that’s… that’s what’s happening?”

Tom hurriedly explained, “No, no, just… just be certain, is all I’m saying.”

They broke off their conversation when Jared emerged, his face alight, giving Jensen a fuzzy feeling in his chest. The young man was cradling a tiny puppy in his arms. The adorable thing was squirming, and struggling to lick her new master senseless.

Jared flopped down on the ground by their feet, and he looked up with such happiness shining out his eyes that Jensen couldn’t control the goofy, soppy grin spreading over his face.

“Look at her, isn’t she the cutest thing ever!”

He is.

“She’s pretty cute, I guess,” Jensen said, grasping the opportunity to slide down from the bench to sit, knees touching Jared’s, as he fawned over the little thing.

Though he pretended to be admiring the puppy, his eyes were actually just watching Jared. The glow on the man’s face showed an innocence and youthfulness that belied the horrendous things that Jared had been through. Jensen knew in that instant that he would do anything to protect the man. Even from himself.

*

A month flew by. Jared had moved in, along with the puppy – newly christened as Sadie – and Jensen was the happiest he had been in a while.

Jared had become more cheerful, and outgoing, and even his nightmares seemed to have stopped. In the beginning it had been bad. Jensen had sat outside Jared’s door listening to the other man’s whimpers and not knowing what to do, but finally it seemed as though Jared was getting better.

Jensen had made a promise to himself to not take advantage of Jared again. He didn’t want the man to do anything just because he felt he owed it to Jensen. He was still furious at himself for that day in the park, looking back he had realised that it had been a one-man show until Jensen had practically begged Jared to do something. Only then had Jared joined in and the thought made Jensen’s throat close up.

So, he had been good. He had avoided touching Jared in any inappropriate ways, even so far as snatching his hands back before they got too touchy.

Sadie was thriving as well, growing bigger with every passing day. Jared had started working in the local library, just for something to do, but he would start going to the fortunately nearby university in a few months to study architecture.

Life was good, and if Jensen’s eyes lingered for slightly longer than necessary on Jared’s chest when the man came out the shower, then who could blame him?

They had started having the guys over on Fridays for a barbeque, and Jensen loved how comfortable Jared had gotten with everybody.

*

Sadie’s damp nose woke him up, and he sat up quickly. “Hey girl, what’s the matter?”

The dog whined and Jensen swung his legs over the side of his bed, frowning. Sadie spent the nights in Jared’s room, and didn’t really bother Jensen unless Jared was out.

He padded silently through the dark corridor, pushing open Jared’s door. The dim light from a streetlamp lit up the room slightly, revealing an empty bed, the covers rumpled.

Swallowing down the quickly rising panic, Jensen called softly, “Jay?”

There was no reply, and Jensen began to make his way through all the rooms. After searching the first and second floors thoroughly, Jensen grabbed the phone to call the police on night duty.

He had just dialled the last number, when he thought of one other place: the roof.

Quickly and silently, he raced up to the small stairway leading out to the roof. When he got to the top, his stomach dropped at the sight before him.

Jared was sitting near the edge of the roof, his face streaked with tears. His body was tilted forward, arms crossed over his knees, the prevailing wind riffling through his hair. He hadn’t noticed Jensen yet, his gaze fixed far out toward the star-speckled sky. The glow from the streetlamp painted his skin.

Jensen watched as the silent tears poured down Jared’s face. He took a step forward, stepping on something, the sound making Jared spin around, guiltily wiping his damp face.

Sitting down beside him, Jensen asked, “Why didn’t you wake me?”

Jared rolled away from him, curling with his back to Jensen, “Sorry.”

Jensen grabbed his shoulder and rolled him back, looking down into shadowed eyes, he said, “No. No, Jared, you don’t have to apologise for being upset. Just tell me why you didn’t wake me.”

Jared pulled away from him, and shifting until he was sitting he said, “Just thought I’d make it easier for you.”

“Easier? What easier? Jay, I thought we were doing well. You’re better. You don’t even get nightmares anymore. I thought you were okay.”

Jared remained silent. Through his own blurry eyes, Jensen surveyed the other man. Then he saw what he had missed previously. What he had been so desperate to not notice. There was darkness beneath Jared’s eyes, rings that only came from long periods of no sleep. Jared’s eyes were clouded with sadness, and resignation. His shoulders were slumped wearily, and he was avoiding Jensen’s gaze.

With a sudden realisation, Jensen whispered, “You weren’t. You weren’t better. I just thought you were.”

Jared smiled sadly, “You wanted me to be better, so I tried to be.”

His stomach twisted.

“You seemed happier.”

“It made you happy when I was.”

“You smiled more.”

Jared smiled at Jensen. It was the smile he had used all month.

Jensen felt sick.

“I never noticed.”

“I didn’t want you to. I thought I could pretend. I just wanted to make you happy. To make you not send me away.”

Jensen choked, “I’d never send you away.”

Jared’s eyes were blank, “I disgust you. Obviously you’ll send me away.”

His eyes widened and he reached for Jared. Jared flinched away. Jensen shook his head, unnoticed tears splashing as he let his hand drop. “You don’t disgust me. You’ve never disgusted me.”

There was a bitter and harsh laugh, “Yeah, right, and that’s why every single time we brushed even slightly against one another, you’d flinch and leap away as if I’d burned you.”

Jensen stared, wondering how this had gotten so screwed up. “That was to protect you from me.”

“What?”

“If I’d allowed myself to touch you, I wouldn’t have been able to stop.”

“What are you talking about?”

Shaking his head at how bad he had made it between them, Jensen ran a hand through his hair.

Then he came to a decision. He just let go of all restraint and launched himself at the younger man, devouring the gasp of surprise and wrapping his arms around Jared.

Punctuating the words with kisses, he said, “If I had let myself touch you, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from doing this.”

He hungrily sucked at Jared’s bottom lip, before kissing the man long and furiously, putting all his fear and love into it. Jared was slack in his arms when he pulled back panting.

Feeling nauseous at the thought that Jared hadn’t responded, Jensen fell back on his heels, “And that’s why I didn’t trust myself to touch you. Because then I would have forced myself on you, like I just did.”

Jared stared at him, eyes wide in numb shock. His shaky hand rose to touch his lips, “You… you want me?”

Jensen let out a frustrated sigh, “Yeah, I fucking love you, and that’s why I’d rather have you here and not be able to touch you than not have you around at all.”

Jared’s hand shakily came to cup Jensen’s face, and Jensen couldn’t stop himself from leaning into it, his eyes slipping shut. “I’m sorry,” Jensen whispered.

All the answer he got was the feeling of soft, tentative lips pressing against his.

His eyes snapped open, and he pulled away, “Don’t. Don’t do that just because you think you have to, or that you owe me something. I just told you that I’d rather have to sit on my hands to stop myself from touching you than send you away. You don’t owe me a thing.”

The other man’s thumb just brushed over Jensen’s bottom lip, Jared stared at it, fascinated. “When you kissed me in the park, I was scared I’d screw up, scared that you were only doing it because you still felt guilty about sending me to prison, but I didn’t want you to stop.”

Jensen locked eyes with Jared, asking a silent question.

Keeping his gaze steady, Jared closed the distance between them and began softly kissing Jensen.

A moment of frozen shock, and then Jensen was letting out a growl, knocking them both over as he attacked Jared’s mouth hungrily.

Then he forced himself to stop, not wanting a repeat one-man show. Jared’s eyes locked with his, and Jared gently flipped them over, positioning himself between Jensen’s legs, and lying chest-to-chest on him. Jared took control, kissing a line along Jensen’s jaw, nipping at his earlobe, and then moving down his neck, biting and sucking where it met his shoulder.

Jensen was lost. He melted. Overwhelmed by the sensations shooting through him, heightened by the fact that it was Jared doing those things to him, his hands flailed around searching for purchase, before just scraping over Jared’s back, holding on for dear life as all logical thought was swept away.

Jared shifted, extracting a gasp from Jensen as their growing erections moved against each other. Jared’s lips stretched into a smile from where he was attacking Jensen’s collarbone, and his hand slid down over Jensen’s chest, slipping further and further south, before it came to the waistband of Jensen’s slacks.

Jensen was a writhing mush of melted goo by then, all he was able to do was moan Jared’s name over and over again, accompanied by a few, ‘God’s as well. Jared’s cruel hand just toyed with the material, slipping fingers just beneath the elastic, and the removing them again. Jensen bucked in frustration, needing more. Jared sucked the skin on the side of Jensen’s neck, and then he changed his hand’s direction, moving it up and under Jensen’s shirt.

Jensen’s stomach and chest muscles twitched beneath the fleeting caresses, his back arching, aching for more contact. Jared moved up to his mouth, swallowing his moans with open-mouthed kisses, while deft fingers played with Jensen’s nipples through the thin material of his shirt.

“Nrgh… God, Jared, please… Touch me. Need…. Touch me.”

Jared shut him up with a kiss, and reached down for the hem of Jensen’s shirt. He pulled it off, and then ran admiring fingers over his bare skin. Jensen, finally able to function, wanted his own turn, so he grasped at Jared’s shirt, tugging it off before stopping to appreciate the sleek, tanned and muscled view.

The faint scars made his fingers stop their motion momentarily, and he locked eyes with Jared, before gently kissing the marks and returning to devour Jared’s mouth.

The slide of bare skin over bare skin as their chests moved against each other made Jensen’s already aching erection strain even more. His hands shifted down Jared’s bare back, slipping beneath the top of Jared’s pants, drawing out a moan from Jared as the man pushed back against him.

Jared slid down the length of Jensen’s writhing body, coming to rest with his face hovering above Jensen’s tented pants.

His eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head as he realised what Jared was about to do, and his head thumped down, his back arching, and hips bucking.

Jared’s slightly trembling hands made Jensen stop the other man, “Wait, Jay. Jay, God. You don’t have to. We don’t have to do anything.”

Jared’s eyes smiled, quickly followed by his lips. “I want to.”

And then his slacks were being pulled down, exposing him to the cold wind, and making him shiver.

When Jared suddenly engulfed him, he let out a loud guttural cry, too far gone to even care if the neighbours could catch them.

Jared’s hands came to hold down his erratic hips, as the man tentatively licked and sucked Jensen’s length.

Just when Jensen was about to blow his load, Jared pulled back, making Jensen moan embarrassingly.

Jensen watched with wide eyes as Jared reached for his own slacks, pulling them down and off completely. Suddenly witness to such raw beauty, Jensen’s mouth worked soundlessly. The streetlamp coated Jared in a soft glow that seemed to have darkened his tan, the stars that formed a backdrop from where Jensen was lying, made the man look like an image sent from God.

Jensen was suddenly hit with a random quote he had heard somewhere, “The real sin against life is to abuse and destroy beauty, even more, one's own, for that has been put in our care and we are responsible for its well-being.”

He swore to himself in that moment that he would never let anyone hurt Jared ever again, especially not himself. He had tried this before, but that had just resulted in hurting Jared. This time he was going to make sure Jared was happy, rather than just doing what he thought was wanted.

He stood up and approached Jared, wrapping his arms around the man’s slim waist, and pulling him close.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

Jared’s cheeks flushed, making Jensen smile, “What, you don’t believe me?”

A small smile crept on Jared’s face, and he looked up shyly into Jensen’s eyes. The older man brought his hands up to cradle Jared’s face between them.

“What do you want?”

Jared’s eyes slid shut and he leaned into Jensen. He breathed, “Just you.”

His chest bursting into warmth, Jensen pressed a kiss on the young man’s nose, “Well, that’s no way to bargain, seeing as though you already have me. You could have asked for anything in the world at the moment and I would have made sure you got it.”

Jared’s eyes crinkled at the edges, and he asked jokingly, “Can I get another puppy?”

Jensen huffed out a laugh, pressing their lips together, and wrapping his arms around to the back of Jared’s neck.

When they broke apart for oxygen, Jared’s fingers wrapped around Jensen’s hand, pulling it towards his mouth, he sucked on Jensen’s fingers, slicking them up, his hazel eyes fixed on Jensen’s.

His eyes widened when he realised what Jared was doing, and what the implications were. “You…?”

Jared nodded, letting Jensen’s fingers slip out slickly.

Jensen brushed the fingers of his other hand over Jared’s cheek, marvelling at what Jared was giving him. Then he pressed a soft and tender kiss to the man’s jaw, “Okay.”

He took hold of Jared’s hand and said, “But maybe we should go inside, not that I think Ms. Webster would mind, but I don’t want to share you.”

He knew that sounded very possessive, and was relieved when Jared only blushed and murmured, “All yours.”

Jensen swung the young man up against his chest again, breath brushing his cheek, “For as long as you want to be.”

He wanted to let Jared know that he was in control, that Jared could tell him to stop at any moment, and he would. It would kill him, but he would.

He led Jared down the stairs. Sadie thumped her tail before going straight back to sleep. Jensen led the way to his bedroom, sending Jared a quick smile. He carefully laid Jared down upon the bed, smothering him with kisses, before going to rummage in the beside-drawer for the bottle of lube.

“Condom?” he asked.

Jared was bright red, but he said, “No, I’m clean. I got checked before the trial.”

Jensen realised what they were about to do, and his rock-hard cock – having received no relief from the blowjob – gave a jump.

“We don’t have to do this. You don’t have to… I mean, I could…”

With a smile, Jared said, “No, I want you to have me first. I want you to erase all… the others.”

Jensen felt anger flash through him at the thought of those others, and he crawled up the bed to kneel between Jared’s legs, covering the man’s body with his own and kissing him deeply.

Then he began moving down Jared’s jaw, and neck, soft peppered kisses, down his muscled chest and abdomen.

He leisurely lubed up his fingers, rearranged Jared’s legs so he was more comfortable and softly circled Jared’s entrance. Jared was tense, so Jensen finally had an excuse to taste the beautiful man, lowering his mouth to take in Jared’s cock.

Jared bucked up, and Jensen peered up at the ridiculously sexy sight before taking in more. While Jared was moaning Jensen’s name, Jensen slipped a finger up into Jared’s warmth, pausing before starting to move it around, stretching the precious man open.

When the second finger entered him, Jared tensed up, only relaxing when Jensen began humming around his cock, his hands fisting the bedcovers tightly.

Finally Jensen thought Jared was ready. He slid up Jared’s long torso, skin sliding over skin, and it was just so good.

“You okay?”

Jared sucked Jensen’s bottom lip, “Yeah, get a move on old man.”

Grinning, Jensen pecked the younger man on the chin, “I’ll show you, ‘old man’.”

Being extremely gentle, he folded Jared’s legs up, so that it was as painless as possible, then, excruciatingly slowly, he began to press in.

He slid all the way in steadily and then paused while they caught their breath. He kissed Jared until the man responded by rolling his hips, extracting a moan from Jensen.

“Oh, God, Jay… so good, so good… nnggrh got to move, baby, please, got to move.”

Jared’s hands stroked along his bare back, coming to rest over his ass, pulling Jensen down further into him. Jensen let out a cry, and began sliding slowly. He quickly lost all control, but Jared was meeting his every thrust. He began pounding into the gorgeous body stretched out and opened beneath him.

He dragged his mouth along Jared’s exposed neck, tasting the delicious saltiness on his skin.

“Jen, feel so full… Never want you to leave. Make me yours, Jen.”

Jensen’s thrusts became stronger, deeper, hitting the spot that sent sensations through the other man, making him moan uncontrollably.

Sucking at the already forming hickey on Jared’s neck, Jensen growled, “You’re mine. Mine. No one else gets to touch you… Only me… Only me…”

Jared wrapped his legs around Jensen’s hips, sheathing him fully inside, holding him in, keeping him from moving. Jared whispered in his ear, “No one else, only you. Want you in me like this… want to feel you fill me up like this always. Want you in me. I want people to know you own me. I want them to see who I belong to.”

“Oh, God, Jay,” Jensen said, the words pushing him over the edge. With two more thrusts into Jared, he was coming furiously, harder than he ever had before. Jared tightened around him, as he too came with a shout, Jensen continued pounding into Jared, until every last drop was deposited into the body beneath him. Then he sagged forwards, burying his face into the side of Jared’s neck.

When he could move again, he lifted his head slightly, “God, Jay, I love you so much.”

Jared smiled sleepily down at him, “Ditto, now I want to sleep.”

Jensen chuckled at learning that his lover was sleepy post-coital, “Humph, fine, fine, I guess I’ll have to do all the work.”

He slid reluctantly out of Jared, and after stealing a few more kisses and receiving a “Go away, I’m sleepy,” he wandered into the bathroom, grabbing a cloth and returning to wipe them clean.

Then he slid in beside Jared, and threw the blanket over them, before reaching out and tugging Jared toward him. Jared grumbled, but proceeded to curl up around Jensen’s chest, snuggling closer, his eyes closed.

Jensen tightened an arm around Jared’s shoulders, and pressed his nose into Jared’s hair. In an incredibly gentle motion, Jared pressed his lips softly to Jensen’s chest, planting a light kiss there, before relaxing and cuddling back down again.

Jensen smiled up at the ceiling, loving the man even more with every passing second. Then he asked, “Jay?”

A sleepy, “Hmmm?” came from his chest snuggler.

“Don’t lie to me, please. If you’re not happy or if something’s bothering you, please tell me, I don’t want you to pretend you’re fine if you’re not. I don’t care how long it takes for you to get better, so you don’t need to try to rush it. I’m here and I want you here with me. But I want it to be the real you.”

There was a silence, and then Jared asked, “Are you always this noisy after sex?”

Jensen didn’t say anything.

Jared’s hand curled over Jensen’s heart, tracing patterns on his bare skin. After another silence, Jared added, “I promise... Now can we please go to sleep?”

Jensen smiled, he pressed a kiss into Jared’s hair, “Yeah,” he breathed.

He was just drifting off when he heard a sleepy, “I do love you, you know.”

*

The next day, when Jared got home from the library there was a present waiting for him. He offered a confused smile to Jensen and then took the lid off the large box. A furry nose stuck out, sniffing curiously at its new owners.

Jensen smiled at the surprised, excited glow on the other man’s face. Jared looked up at him.

“I did promise, didn’t I? ‘Anything in the world’ I said.”

His oxygen supply was suddenly cut off, his mouth being hungrily consumed by Jared, who wrapped his arms around his waist. He smiled into the kiss, “I guess you like him then, huh?”

Jared’s response was to pull their bodies flush against one another and to lower Jensen to the floor as they kissed frantically.

There was a whining, and they broke apart to see the little puppy trying to jump out of the box to play with the nearby, also whining, Sadie. Jensen grinned, “The kids are calling.”

The smile that spread over Jared’s face was blinding, and Jensen pulled him into another kiss, whispering in his ear, “We’ll be okay,” before he let the man go.

***