The hardest hit
Jensen works as a hired gun. He kills people, plain and simple. Or at least it was, right up until the moment he stood over a sleeping teenager. Name: J. Padalecki. Assignment: kill quickly, but make it look like the job of an amateur. Just another mark, right? I can barely fasten the ends of the bandage: my hands are shaking so badly. “Jared…” I get out again, my palm sliding over the smooth skin of his shoulder tentatively. He flinches away. And it feels like he’s punched me.
12,000 words, NC-17, schmoop, h/c, bottom!Jared
♥
“Chris…”
“Jenny, what’s wrong? You okay?”
“I couldn’t do it…”
“Couldn’t do what?”
“I couldn’t kill the target…”
“What? You mean your gun jammed? Damn dealer, I’m gonna-”
“No…”
“You ran outta bullets?”
“No…”
“The place was packed with bodyguards?”
“No…”
“Jesus Christ, Jen! You gonna keep me guessing all day? How did the target get away?”
“I just couldn’t pull the trigger?”
“Your finger got a cramp?”
“No…”
“Mike stuck gum behind the trigger again?”
“No…”
“Jensen!”
“Chris, I just looked at the kid, he was sleeping and… I just couldn’t do it?”
“What? Jensen, in all the years you’ve been doing this, you suddenly, out of nowhere, decide to grow a conscience?”
“No, I mean… shit, Chris, I’m freaking out here. But… he just… you should’ve seen him… sleeping so peacefully…”
“So… he looked cute and you decided to just let him go?”
“No, Christ! I’m not that unprofessional.”
Chris breathes a sigh of relief, “So you got Tom to cover you, right?”
“Uh…”
“Jen!”
“I… I kinda… I brought him with us…”
“You what! Where is he now?”
“He’s here. I tied him up, he’s in the basement.”
“Shit… Jensen, this goes beyond our heads…”
“I know…”
“I’ll be there soon.”
I hang up and wander down the wooden stairs to the basement. Seated in the middle of the sterile room is the struggling youth.
It takes me a few moments to steel myself before I can step around to stand before the kid. A muffled sound comes from behind the gag and the brunette glares up at me.
“Hey…” I scratch my head awkwardly, wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do now. The kid stares up at me, disbelief shining in his eyes.
“Are… are you thirsty?”
The man’s eyes widen and dart around the room as if expecting a trap.
“Or hungry?”
It begins to get hotter as the swirling eyes examine me, and I tug at the collar of my shirt.
“Mhmmfhmm,” the man muffles from behind the gag and I step forward to slip it from the bruised lips.
“What the fuck do you want from me?”
“I…was…” I shake my head, “I was sent to kill you.”
“Why? And by whom?”
“I don’t know.”
“What? Why would you kill me for no reason?”
“It’s what I do.”
“You’re a hitman,” the man’s eyes are wide with disbelief, “A shit hitman.”
“What?”
“Well, I’m still alive aren’t I? You can’t be very good at your job.”
“Excuse me? I’ll have you know that out of fifty seven marks, not one of them survived.”
“Then why am I still alive?”
“I don’t know!” I growl, regretting the affection that made my trigger-finger slow.
“And you have no idea why someone would want me dead?”
“Well, I don’t know what the hell you did, but you must’ve pissed off someone badly enough.”
“I haven’t done anything!” the kid snaps. “One minute I was stressing about my exam, which is today, by the way, and the next I wake up here with some deranged idiot.”
“Hey!” I scowl; then I look up, “An exam? So that’s why you were… you know… asleep on those books?”
Jared flushes, “Yeah…” then he lets out a huff, “Okay, this is really weird.”
“Tell me about it.”
“So what the hell am I actually doing here? I mean, are you… what are planning to do with me?” A flicker of fear dances in Jared’s eyes, but he still jokes, “Mr Hitman.”
That’s when I realise that all the light-heartedness and tough attitude up to now has just been Jared’s way of hiding how terrified he is. The thought that I’m the one terrifying the kid makes something clench in my chest and I sit down heavily on the floor in front of the chair. “How old are you?”
“Uhm… Jared looks to the side, “Seventeen,” he mumbles.
“Shit, you’re really just a kid!”
He looks up angrily, “What the hell were you expecting? Didn’t they tell you that in your assignment file or whatever the hell they gave you?”
“No,” I fire back, “They just said, ‘this is Jared Padalecki, kill him as quickly as possible, but shoot him enough times to make it look like the job of an amateur: leave blood on the sheets and floor, fake footprints and the weapon’.”
The blood drains from Jared’s cheeks and he drops his gaze to his lap, making me feel like the biggest asshole ever. “Look, Jared… where are your parents? There was no one else in the house when I arrived.”
Jared’s head jerks slightly, “My dad’s away.”
“Away? What about your mom?”
His shoulders tense up slightly and his reply is too quiet, “She’s dead.”
“Oh…” I bite my lip, “How often does your dad go away?”
Looking up to glare at me, the young man shrugs, “He’s pretty much always gone, he runs a law firm up in L.A.”
“So, you look after yourself?”
Jared huffs, “Yes, Jesus! What the hell do you care anyway?”
“I… I don’t… I was just wondering why… Wait, you said your dad runs a law firm? Which one is it?”
“Jericho. It used to be Jerry & co. but they changed it.”
“Shit,” I swear as I run my fingers roughly through my hair.
“What?”
“That’s one of the main law firms in the country.”
“I know. My dad runs it, remember?”
“No… Jared, what I mean is… the reason… the reason for there being a hit out on you could be because of someone your father got tossed behind bars.”
Fear flashes in the hazel eyes, but the teen steels his jaw and shoots back, “Well, aren’t I lucky?” He ducks his head, staring down at the ground as I just watch, fascinated by him. A few moments later, the kid looks up at me, his voice small, almost scared for the first time tonight, as he asks quietly, “Why would they want to kill me?”
“That’s probably how they planned to hurt your dad most: kill his loved one.
Jared laughs bitterly, “Yeah… sure.”
“What do you mean?”
Glancing away, Jared shrugs, or rather, he shrugs as much as his bounds allow, and murmurs, “Just… me and my dad aren’t exactly close… they’re wasting their time getting me killed…”
For some reason, this makes my chest clench painfully, and I shift an inch closer. “Why?”
Jared’s lips part as if to explain, but then he stops; frowns. “Dude, what the hell? You’ve just kidnapped me! You’re a hitman not a bloody shrink.”
Feeling irrationally annoyed, I jolt to my feet and leave the room, shutting the door on the “Hey, wait-”
Storming up the stairs, I’m unable to pinpoint the source of my feelings, unable to decipher them. Instead of giving myself a headache, I head towards the bathroom, hoping a long shower will clear my mind.
♥
♥
When a series of pained cries filter through under the spray of the water, it has me leaping out; barely sparing the time to pull on boxers as I check my gun and race out with the white towel flapping around my shoulders.
“What is it?” I shoot at an uninterested Tom.
“Chris is here, and he’s pissed.”
“Fuck,” I swear, my heart lodging in my throat as I race down to the basement, banging the door open.
The sight before me nearly has me smashing things.
Jared’s crying; his whole body shaking with exertion. There’s blood trickling down from his nose, and more at his wrists from trying to tug free of the bonds. But the bone-deep terror in the kid’s eyes is what has me racing forwards, grabbing Chris by the scuff of his neck and dragging him towards the nearest wall, slamming him back into it with a growl, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Jen? Jesus, what the hell’s gotten into you? This guy’s a bastard.”
Quickly returning to the shivering kid, I tilt his head up, wincing at the contrast of blood against his ghostly-pale face. In that moment, when Jared’s eyes meet mine and show only fear and betrayal and hurt, I hate Chris.
“You okay, kid?” I murmur softly, gently smearing some blood from Jared’s cheek.
The teen only shies further away, “Please… I didn’t do anything… I didn’t….”
“Shhh, it’s okay, I know… I know…”
Then I return to a baffled Chris and drag him from the room.
“Jensen, what the fuck was that?”
I look up from where I’m getting dressed, “Chris, how the hell can you ask me that? He’s just a fucking kid!”
The older hitman shakes his head angrily, “I don’t care. His name’s on the paper, that’s good enough for me.”
“He had an exam today: a college exam. Does that sound like a mini Hitler to you?”
Chris throws his arms up, “Well, for all we know Hitler had nursery school the next day, doesn’t mean he shouldn’t have died.”
“Man, I seriously don’t think there’s a hit out on Jared.”
“Jared?” Chris raises an eyebrow. “You on first name basis already? Aww that’s sweet.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
“I would gladly, only I have to hang around here ‘cause some stupid idiot brought a mess in and dumped it in the basement!”
I grit my teeth to stop myself from blurting out things that would definitely hinder our friendship. Instead, I just growl, “No one touches him again.”
Without another word, I brush past him, heading towards the kitchen to grab a wet cloth. Then I make my way down to the basement.
Jared gasps as I bang open the door, making me instantly feel like a jerk. His face is damp, streaked with blood, sweat and tears. My chest clenches as I squat before him. “Hey, kid.”
He looks away, eyes shimmering in the light. “Go to hell.”
Reaching out to wipe the blood off him, I wince at his hiss of pain. “I’m sorry… Chris… he just… he’s been in this job too long…”
Confused eyes peer up at me, still glistening with misery, and it’s all I can do to stop myself from hugging him. Honestly, I’m a hardened hitman. Not a teddy.
“What am I doing here?” he croaks hoarsely. “Are you still going to kill me?”
“No, Jared… I’m not going to kill you.”
His eyes shift towards the door, “That… that man… he said he’d… he was going to kill me…”
Anger surges through me and I shake my head, “I’m not going to let anybody hurt you. You understand me?”
Slowly, his distrust slides away and he nods, whispering softly, “Okay.”
My gut clenches at weak offer of trust and I realise I’m in this way deeper than I thought.
Just as I’m reaching out to brush the bangs from his face and examine the full extent of his injuries, the door slams open and Chris storms in, causing Jared to let out a soft sound that has me resting a hand on his knee, comforting him.
Chris raises an eyebrow, but just shakes his head. “The boss called, asked what the fuck we think we’re doing. He wanted a homicide,” Chris glares pointedly at Jared. “But instead he got a missing person…. The client is furious, absolutely livid, but after some convincing, agreed that he could use this and make it a kidnapping. Maybe earn some cash for the whole gig as well.”
“What?” I growl angrily.
Ignoring my fury, Chris just continues, “We have to hand the boy over to the client in two days.”
Feeling the weight of my promise to Jared on my shoulders, I ask softly, “What’s the client’s situation?”
“Lucas Malcovich, brother to Fredric Malcovich – a man sentenced to life last month. They’re heads of the lower district gangs. All drugs, weapons and dirty money.”
“Oh…” I glance back at Jared, hating the dejected slump in his shoulders and the way he hangs his head, hiding behind his fringe. A slight shake moves through him and my stomach drops as I realise how terrified he must be. This is a seventeen-year old kid, a kid who was busy studying for an exam yesterday; only now he’s been kidnapped by a hit organisation. “Jared, what was your exam on?”
“Huh?” his head jerks up and he sends me a baffled look. Chris just stares at me as if I’ve suddenly spouted a second head.
“Your exam today, what was it on?”
“Uhm… environmental studies, awareness, stuff like that…”
He’s a save the world type of guy, how the hell did he end up here with us killers? Oh, right. My bad. I shake my head slightly and reach out to untie his bonds. When he just stares down at me in confusion, I murmur softly, “I know you’re going to try and get out of here, but I’m telling you now, even if you get past Chris, me and our buddy upstairs, you’ll never get past the security locked door or the electronic gate. So, please just don’t try, okay?”
Slowly he nods.
Once I’ve unfastened all his limbs, he begins flexing them, obviously trying to get his circulation going properly once again. It’s clear that he’s trying to hide his wince, but I still reach for his wrists, gently wiping the damp cloth over the bruises.
We both watch my ministrations in silence and are startled from it by Chris clearing his throat. After sending me a What-The-Fuck look, Chris spins around and storms from the room. When I follow a few seconds later, leaving Jared with the cloth, Chris shoots me a wary glance, “You’re screwed, you know that? What are you doing, Jensen?”
Slumping down in one of the seats, I shake my head wearily, “I don’t know, Chris. I promised him I wouldn’t let anyone hurt him…”
“Okay, tell me this: Would you rather cross a gang leader with friends in bad places – friends like us, I’ll have you know – or break a promise to a punk kid? Think rationally, Jensen. Think of what happened to Roland.”
“Chris…”
“Man, I know you hate breaking promises, but this is just one promise. Do you want to endanger your life, our lives, just for one, stupid promise?”
I sag further.
“A gang leader, Jensen; they are really not ones to get on the wrong side. Even if you get past him, you will never get past his buddies, not to mention his children and his children’s children. For the rest of your life they will have you black-marked. Do you want that, Jensen?”
“No…”
Chris looks relieved, “Okay… good. So, we’ll deliver the kid to them and that’ll be the end of it. Alright, man?”
I nod slowly, barely able to get words out of my guilt-clogged throat as I croak, “Okay.”
We sit in silence after that, me staring down at the grain of the table and Chris staring at me. I hate breaking promises, even more so when they’re to wide-eyed innocent brunettes who don’t deserve any of this to happen to them.
Tom’s loud yell from nearby has us exchanging confused glances and hurrying towards the sound.
In the kitchen, we find Tom hopping around cursing and clutching at his toe, and he points us towards the adjoining room with a few angry mutters of ‘rascal’.
A tiny window has been smashed open, a smear of blood on the glass, which can only mean Jared slipped through. It seems unlikely that he could fit through here, but he is a very lithe kid – it’s possible.
Chris let’s out a flurry of curses and races for the door, punching in the security code and we race outside. I flinch as Chris pulls out his gun, but it is standard procedure. I can’t, however, bring myself to draw my own weapon.
When Chris sends me a glare, I reach for the stunner at the side of my pants-leg, “I’ll stun him if he fights.”
In Mike’s illustrious gardens, we peer around, both knowing that Jared couldn’t have gotten past the towering gates at the foot of the slopes. But the knowledge that he managed to get past Tom and out a window we’d all thought impossible to fit through puts us on edge slightly.
Chris heads towards the Western Hills, while I trail along the boundary. Eventually we get a radio from Tom, who’s checking the cameras, telling us Jared’s exact location.
Fortunately I’m closer, so I get to the foot of the tree before Chris is even in the vicinity.
“Jared? Come down, dude. It’s okay…” I call softly, shamefully trying to use what little trust he’s given me.
When there’s no reply, I reach up for the first branch, and, with a sigh, begin climbing. He remains silent as I shuffle onto a bough opposite him. He doesn’t meet my gaze, even as I call his name.
“I’m really impressed, kid. How’d you get past Tom? And, seriously, do you even eat?”
He keeps his head lowered as he gets out evenly, “I’m going to fight so you’d better use your stun gun on me.”
“Jared… dude, come on…”
“Fuck you.” Jared swings around the branch, landing easily on the ground below and instantly disappears into the undergrowth.
A few seconds after I’ve manages to scramble down, Chris emerges. “Did you get him?”
“No… Lost him.”
After sending me another glare, Chris grabs his radio, “Tom, where is he now?”
“You mean after Jenny boy let him go? Well, he’s actually headed towards the forest, you guys better catch him soon else we’ll be searching for him all night. Oh, and he didn’t go through the window, he just waited until you morons went out the door, then he followed.”
“Damn Mike and his bloody overcompensation,” Chris snarls, stomping off.
After checking the batteries in our transmitters and torches, we split up at the mouth of the dark woods.
♥
About an hour or so of trudging through the mud and foliage and creepers, I’m sweating like crazy and longing for a breath of fresh air. But the sound of a gunshot – Chris’ gun – is the last thing I want to hear.
I set off at a run in the direction of the sound, praying that it was just a warning shot. But, as I enter the clearing to see Jared on the ground, blood pooling around his shoulder, my heart sinks.
Chris is busy pulling out handcuffs and bandages to stem the bleeding, but I shove him away from the kid, falling to my knees beside him and carefully flipping him over. “Jared?”
A weak ‘fuck you’ is spat from his lips, followed by a feeble attempt to shove me away. I move closer, pulling him up from the damp, bloody earth and as far onto my lap as possible.
After ripping through his shirt to expose the wound, I grab bandages from Chris’ hands and hastily begin applying gauze to stem the bleeding. As I wrap a large white bandage across his chest and around to his back across the exit wound, he lets out a pained whimper, head sagging forwards against my shoulder.
That’s when I realise: if I get this agonised over the sight of him with an injury, how the hell am I planning to give him up to Lucas, especially knowing that the gang leader will torture him and possibly kill him?
Jared half-sobs into the dip of my shoulder and I shove my thoughts from my mind and focus on the here-and-now. “You’re okay, man… You’re going to be fine… You hear me?” I’m not quite sure who I’m reassuring. “Come on, let’s get you inside, we have pain meds.”
I heft him up in my arms, slowly getting to my feet so as not to antagonise his wound. I get a weak kick to the stomach in return as he grunts, “Put me down…” through gritted teeth.
Ignoring him entirely, I adjust my grip, keeping his wounded shoulder away from all obstacles. I’m just lucky he’s so light; else I would really be screwed.
Even still, it’s a long walk to the house. Fortunately Jared does stop struggling after the first half-hour or so, but even that is only because he fell asleep. With him no longer resisting, his body melts against mine, making it easier to cradle him close.
Chris does reluctantly offer to carry the kid for a bit, but I think the glare I shoot him silences that. The man does mutter something about it being a shoulder not a leg, but I ignore that too.
“Nearly there,” I get out, accidentally speaking into the soft skin of Jared’s neck and waking him.
He jerks erratically, groaning out softly. Then his feverish eyes fly open and he stares up at me, panic evident as he begins struggling. One of his thrashes jolts his arm against a passing tree and he lets out pained cry, eyes squeezing tightly shut, his uninjured hand coming up to cradle his shoulder.
When he opens his eyes again, there are tears in his eyes, contradicting the anger seething in the hazel orbs.
“Put me down,” he snarls out, and I nearly drop him at the dangerous edge in his voice.
I open my mouth to argue, but Chris cuts me off, “Just put the fucking baby down, Jensen.”
Lowering him down is both a relief to my sore body, and a disappointment for some bizarre reason I can’t yet comprehend. Jared stumbles at first, but glowers at my attempts to stable him. Then he straightens up and glances around.
We’re both startled by Chris leaping forwards with handcuffs, which he attaches to my own wrist and Jared’s uninjured one, and seconds later, our unlikely trio is trudging up the slopes towards Mike’s mansion, Chris first, then Jared, and me following, ready to catch him if he trips.
Reaching the building is a relief, especially considering the amount Jared slowed down in the past fifteen minutes and the amount of red seeping through his bandages.
But, though seeing him like this has been bad, I know the worst is still to come. After tossing me the handcuff keys, Chris disappears. I lead Jared towards the medical room.
After immediately giving him some pain medication – which he warily swallows – I gesture him towards the examining table in the centre. “You mind sitting down?”
He’s now ghostly pale, his body trembling despite his attempts to hide it, and there’s blood smeared over most of him. I reach for a nearby cloth, dampening it and gently sponging around the wound. He hisses, hands clenching at his thighs.
“You’re lucky... the bullet missed the bone and went straight through the soft tissue.”
I reach for the antiseptic and I whisper an apology before pouring it over him, His cry echoes in my head for hours, long after he’s fallen unconscious.
♥
“You should’ve been an actor, you know that?” Jared gets out through gritted teeth as I rewrap the bandage.
“Why? Why do you say that?”
“Usually I read people right, but you… I was really wrong about you…”
“What are you talking about?”
He puts on a falsetto, “’Oh, Jared, don’t worry. I won’t let anyone hurt you. I’m a good guy,’” his voice drops to its normal pitch, “And, to think, I really fell for that. Now, not only do I know you’re a fucking liar; I’ve also had a bullet pass through my fucking shoulder and, in two days, you assholes are going to give me to gang leader who’ll probably dismember me, kill me, and send my parts to a father who won’t give a fucking damn! How’s that for ‘I won’t let anyone hurt you’?”
“Jared…” I croak out, my throat constricting.
“Beat me up, shoot me again, I don’t fucking care… Just don’t act like you give a damn.”
I can barely fasten the ends of the bandage: my hands are shaking so badly. “Jared…” I get out again, my palm sliding over the smooth skin of his shoulder tentatively. He flinches away. And it feels like he’s punched me.
“Just leave me the fuck alone. I’m just a ‘punk kid’, anyway. Why the fuck would you give a crap about me?” There are tears glistening in his eyes, and I’m not sure whether it’s anger or something worse.
When I walk out the door, my head’s ducked low at the knowledge that he overheard the conversation between Chris and myself.
My stomach writhes guiltily. What an outstanding person I am, breaking a promise the very day I make it. What a coward.
I end up in the kitchen, staring blankly down at the coffee machine, feeling lower than I’ve ever felt before. My pop would be ashamed of me.
“No, no, no, man. Put that face away; just stop thinking about it, okay?”
I slowly turn to face Chris.
“There’s nothing we can do, Jensen. You know that.”
“There has to be, Chris…. I just… fuck, I can’t do this. Have you seen him, man? He’s just… he doesn’t deserve this.”
“Jensen, goddamnit, we had this conversation before. A fucking gang lord! I do not want to mess with them. I don’t care how easily we can kick their asses, I do not want to have always be on guard for an ambush. There is no way in hell that we’re crossing them.”
“I have to Chris, I can’t… I won’t give Jared up to them.”
“Oh, really?”
I set my gaze firmly on my age-old friend, “Yes, and I don’t want to fight you on this. You and Tom back out now, call the client and tell him I’ll be bringing Jared in tomorrow and then, when we don’t show, you guys can get all angry – blame it all on me. Hopefully they’ll fall for it and only go after me.”
“You’re serious about this, aren’t you? You’re really going to toss your whole fucking life away for this punk kid?”
I flinch, “He’s not a ‘punk kid’, but yes. Yes, I am.”
Chris lets out an annoyed sigh, “Why? What the fuck do you see in him?”
Staring unseeingly at a spot on the wall, I draw up everything I’ve learned about Jared, from his fiery retorts and adorable confusion to his sadness regarding his mother.
“He’s innocent.”
“Innocent?” Chris splutters. “What the hell, Jensen? I’ve heard you rant on and on about the ‘kids today’ and how airheaded and pathetic they are, now you’re telling me him being innocent is a good thing?”
“He’s just…” my gaze drops to the floor as I confess, “He trusted me.”
“So?”
“Me, the fucking hitman who abducted him from his house the day before his environmental studies exam, he trusted me.”
Chris’ voice spits with sarcasm, “Oh, how cute, he trusted you. Now that makes everything better.”
“Fuck you, man,” I reply half-heartedly, “I just… There’s something about his eyes, I can’t explain it.”
“Yeah, well I can. You want to fuck him. And I get it, it’s been a while for you and he’s not a bad-looking guy. But, seriously, Jensen. You have to – and I never thought I’d hear myself say this – you have to start thinking with your upper brain now, before you get us all killed and dismembered by angry gang lords.”
I punch him on the nose – drawing blood – and head back to the medical room, my face burning with anger.
Jared’s asleep, curled up in an impossibly small ball, hand curled protectively around his shoulder, and his bruised face upturned. I sink heavily onto the seat beside the bed, gazing down at him.
His brow creases with a tiny frown, and a soft sound escapes his slightly parted lips. Almost compulsively, I lean forwards, brushing my thumb over his bottom lip
He’s absolutely gorgeous, like an angel, a broken angel. I sink back into the seat with a frustrated sigh, running a hand roughly down my face. I don’t know what’s happening to me.
A soft snuffle alerts me to his waking, but even still, I’m not prepared for when his eyes slowly flutter open, locking on mine. He stares at me for a few seconds, then he begins to sit up, only to curse and clutch his shoulder, pain flittering across his face.
I can’t even meet his gaze, the guilt is too much. “I’ll get you more pain meds,” I murmur, staring down at the floor as I make my way towards the cabinet.
When I return with pills and a glass of water, he just keeps watching me. He takes them slowly, murmuring a quiet, “Thank you,” as he gulps them down.
“Jared… I…”
“When do you have to take me to them?” he asks softly, looking down at his hands.
“They’re expecting you tomorrow.”
He nods slowly.
“I’m not going to. I’m not going to let them have you.”
His face contorts and he shakes his head angrily. “Fuck you, you think I’m going to fall for this again? Why would a fucking hitman care about some random punk kid? I may be naïve, Jensen, but I’m not stupid.”
“Jared, it’s not like that. Fuck… I just… You’re not ‘some random punk kid’ okay? You’re just…dude, I couldn’t even kill you that night, and that was before I knew you were so…” I trail off, waving my hand through the air.
“So?”
My cheeks burn as I mumble, “Awesome.”
“You think I’m awesome?” he asks sceptically.
“Yes, Jesus!” I throw my arms out to the sides. “So, fuck, dude, I can’t give you over to them, they’ll absolutely slaughter you.”
His nose scrunches up, and it’s so adorable my tirade cuts off.
“So what are you saying?” he gets out slowly.
“Tonight we’re going to start driving. Chris is going to call the guy, tell him that I’ve got you and that I should arrive tomorrow. But we’ll go in the opposite direction, Hopefully that will give us some time. But they’ll come after us, Jay. You won’t be able to go back home for a long while…”
For a few seconds, hope swirls in his eyes. But then a shadow passes across his face and he looks away, getting out bitterly, “Is this another joke?”
Dropping down onto my knees beside the bed, I shake my head. “It’s not, I swear-”
He cuts me off with an empty laugh, “Yeah, right. Doesn’t that sound familiar? How long will it be until that other guy gets you to change your mind, huh? Maybe it’ll even be two whole minutes, wouldn’t that be something?”
I reach forward, but my hand freezes halfway between us, both our eyes watching it. I’m not even sure what I was going to do. My fingers clench in the sheets and I pull my hand back, keeping my gaze lowered. “Jared, listen, I know you have no reason to trust me, but there isn’t time for that. We need to go as soon as we can. Chris isn’t going to get me to change my mind, no one is. I’m getting you out of here.”
A few painful moments slip past, so silently that I jump when his fingers brush lightly through my hair, and I look up, into his eyes.
“Why would you risk your life for me? I’m nothing to you.”
I shoot him a tired smile, “When I figure that out, you’ll be the first to know... Now, how are you feeling? The sooner we leave; the better.”
Beginning to rise to my feet,I freeze when his hand grabs mine.
“Thank you,” he murmurs, eyes filled with warmth, a bit of confusion, and a lot of hope.
I grin back at him, squeeze his fingers in mine and then pull away.
♥
“You are absolutely insane, I hope you know that,” Chris mutters, grudgingly helping me carry equipment to the truck.
“I’m sorry about your nose.”
Chris shrugs, “I kinda deserved it.”
“Yeah, you can be a real asshole sometimes, Kane.”
“I know.” He pulls me into a rough hug, releasing me a second later. “Look after yourself, man. I’ll try keep them unsuspecting for as long as possible.”
“Thanks, Chris. I don’t know why... I just... I have to do this.”
“I figured.” He lets out a sigh, “Look after the kid, although I guess you don’t need me saying that.”
“I’m not a kid,” comes the disgruntled mutter from behind us, and we turn to see Jared scowling at us from the doorstep, and – oh, fuck – he’s wearing one of my button-down shirts.
“You’re lucky Jensen likes you,” Chris shoots back.
“Your hair makes you look like a girl.”
“Your eyes make Jensen-”
“-Alright, enough!” I interject quickly. “If you two have quite finished squabbling, we really have to go.”
“Wait,” Jared asks curiously, “My eyes make Jensen what?”
Chris opens his mouth but slams it shut when I send him a silent ‘don’t you dare’ warning. Then I turn to Jared and reach out for his uninjured arm, “Come on, we need to go.”
♥
♥
I wrack my brains for something to say, trying to remember what’s ‘cool’ nowadays, but I come up blank. The silence is filled with the random songs being spewed out of the radio, so it’s not uncomfortable... yet.
Finally, I clear my throat, “So, what are you planning on doing after you finish the environmental course?”
He sends me a glare, “You mean the course I will have to repeat because I missed the final exam?”
Flushing slightly, I nod.
After watching me with scrutinising eyes for a few seconds, he shakes his head, “Honestly? I have no idea.... I just wanted to get away from my dad...” He huffs out a self-depreciative laugh, “And I guess my wish was granted.”
“What happened between you two?” I find myself asking, voice low and tentative.
He’s silent for a long while, staring distantly out the window, and I’m just beginning to think that he’s decided to ignore my question, when he murmurs softly, “We’ve always been at each other’s throats: I’ve always hated his convenient ignorance regarding guilty but wealthy clients. My mom did too, but he never listened... He’s what killed her, you know? He might not have shoved the pills down her throat, but he may as well have.”
“She committed suicide?”
He nods jerkily, “I found her on the floor of her bedroom. My father was away on one of his frequent trips, and I just... I was eleven.”
“Jesus...” I want to reach out for him, pull him into my arms and never, ever see that pain in his eyes again.
He shrugs himself out of it and smiles weakly, “Anyway, everything was tipped by me telling him I was into guys... Let’s just say we don’t really talk much...”
“You’re gay?” I blurt out stupidly, mentally kicking myself a second later when all his walls slam up again. Honestly, he just shares his life with me and that’s all I can say?
“Yeah, why? You got a problem with that?” he gets out emotionlessly, his gaze fixed straight ahead. “You going to turn the truck around and hand me over to them?”
“No, fuck, Jared. Christ. That’s not why... I was just surprised, s’all. Hell, I’d be a hypocrite if I cared about that.”
He turns towards me, his eyebrows raised, “You’re also gay?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh,” he gets out, relaxing slightly. “Okay...”
We fall into silence again, and I can’t help glancing over at him every few seconds, taking in his delicate, yet stunningly handsome features. I can’t help but wonder if Chris was right.
Reaching out, I squeeze his arm lightly, “Hey... I’m sorry about your dad...”
He smiles and turns to gaze out the window, but he doesn’t shrug away from my hand. I leave it there for far longer than I have any reason to, but he doesn’t mention that either.
♥
He falls asleep. But not like a normal person would, oh, no. He goes and falls asleep, and instead of tilting towards the window, or against the back of his seat, he seems to find my lap far more comfortable. Why this is, with the gearstick right there, I have no idea.
So, I find myself in an awkward position, wondering what to do with myself. Do I wrap an arm around him to keep him from falling off the seat? Do I nudge him away, get him positioned in his seat? Do I shake him awake?
I spend so long wondering what to do, that I suddenly realise – several minutes later – that my traitorous fingers have been stroking through his silky hair, brushing it gently out of his face.
Thankfully he’s still sound asleep, unable to see the dark blush staining my cheeks, and unable to catch me out as a creep.
With a resigned sigh, I tuck my hand under his neck, supporting it so he doesn’t get an ache later. I tell myself that I’m doing it for my benefit – who wants to hear a teenager whine about his sore neck? Not me, that’s for sure – and that it has nothing to do with how warm his skin feels beneath the pads of my fingers.
A few moments later, another problem arises. With an adorable snuffle, Jared wriggles around, turning into my touch, pressing his cheek into my palm, and I get to feel the soft brush of his lips against my hand.
A shiver races through me and my other hand tightens its grip on the steering wheel. This is absolutely ridiculous, but it’s absolute torture.
And he isn’t done yet. He lets out a soft incoherent mutter and squirms around, obviously trying to get comfortable, and he ends up wriggling his uninjured arm behind my back, dangerously low down, and his body curls up, practically in my lap.
Honestly, this is not natural.
As more minutes pass by, I slowly relax, my one hand dropping down onto the smooth curve of his spine and stroking ever so slightly up and down. It’s amazingly comfortable – his warm weight pressing down on me – and a sudden wave of loneliness hits me when I realise just how much I crave touch.
It’s pretty pathetic actually, but being a hired gun means that any kind of relationship is impossible. Aside from the unlikelihood of anyone wanting to be with a hitman, there’s also the fact that it would endanger them, and I would never forgive myself if someone I loved got hurt because of me.
I’ll never have someone like Jared to call my own, never have the warmth of a lover in my arms.
Jared lets out an adorable snuffle, rubbing his nose softly against my collarbone, and I can’t help the smile that sneaks onto my lips.
For a brief second, I bury my face in his hair, inhaling his soft, innocent scent before pulling away again.
I simply cannot afford to be feeling like this.
♥
Even three hours later, when I finally give in and stop for fuel, the novelty of him sleeping on me hasn’t worn off.
Pulling into a parking bay, I sit in silence, wondering how to pry myself out from beneath him but not even pretending that I want to.
Unfortunately he stirs after a few seconds, mumbling sleepily and knuckling at his blurry eyes. “Hnghh.” He sits up and I quickly reach out to stop him falling backwards against the dashboard. “J’ns’n?” Then his eyes fall to my chest, and he promptly turns a bright pink, ducking his head.”
I follow his gaze to the damp spot, where he’s been drooling, and I break out into a grin. “Hey, sleepyhead.”
Clearly deciding to ignore his unconscious activities, he mutters, “Where are we?”
“’bout two more hours from the border.”
He turns to look at me, his expressive, hazel eyes examining me. “You look like crap.”
“Why, gee, aren’t you a charmer?”
And then he goes and winks at me, “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”
Is he flirting with me? I gape like a fish for a few seconds before he bursts out laughing and shoves open his door, groaning as he uncurls his long limbs, clutching his injured shoulder and staggering to his feet.
“Can I get candy?” he asks, positively bouncing, his eyes turning full blast on mine, reducing any possible arguments to dust.
I grunt an affirmative, and he grins, dimples dancing and eyes sparkling. “This is ridiculous,” I mutter under my breath. I toss him my wallet and tell him to head on inside while I get fuel, and that there’d better be a coffee waiting for me when I join him. He salutes and wanders inside.
It’s only after he’s disappeared from sight that I realise he’s got my wallet. If he wanted to he could just take off... but, he wouldn’t do that, right? I’m putting my ass on the line to save him, he knows that.
Despite my rational thinking, my stomach is still knotted tightly at the thought of him leaving me.
It takes me a little longer than it should have to fill up (as I spend half the time trying to talk sense into myself), and I’m freezing by the time I wander inside.
The sight of Jared being dragged by his arm towards a beefy trucker has my hackles rising up, and before I know it, I have the man pinned against the wall, my arm cutting off his oxygen supply. Behind me Jared is breathing shakily, and I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he clutches at his wounded shoulder.
“What the fuck were you doing? You seriously want to lose the rest of your teeth tonight?” I snarl, slamming the man again for good measure as he shakes his head pathetically. These guys are all the same: all bark and no bite.
I release him and shove him in the direction of the exit, “Keep walking or I might just change my mind.”
Then I turn back to Jared, taking in his pale cheeks and how he keeps his arm circled protectively over his chest. Without even thinking about it, I tug him against me, wrapping him safely in my arms. Where he belongs...
I can feel his body trembling slightly against mine, so I just clutch him closer. “You okay, kid? How’s the shoulder?”
“’m not a kid,” he mutters softly, hiding his face against my neck for a few seconds before pulling away. I’m pleased to see that he’s looking better than before.
“What the hell happened?”
“The guy just... he wouldn’t take no for an answer... kept offering me a ‘lift’, kept saying shit about how ‘a sweet thing like me shouldn’t be out here alone’.” Jared snorts softly, “Then I told him I wasn’t alone, but he still wouldn’t back off, so I shoved him, told him to fuck off, and he grabbed me and then... well, then you were there.” He shrugs.”
“That fucking asshole,” I growl, already beginning to storm after him when Jared catches my arm.
“Jen, just leave it. Your coffee’s probably ready by now.”
♥
I only fully relax when I’ve got Jared safely in the car, happily munching his candy and chatting about how red Skittles are so much better than green Skittles, and then he goes and proves it by sticking out his – very red and not the slightest bit green – tongue.
I don’t think I’ve ever laughed this much before. I’ve never had any reason to.
“So, what about you?” his lips ask around a Twizzler.
“Huh?” I reply eloquently, trying to ignore just how much the sight of his Skittle-stained red lips wrapped around the candy is affecting me.
“Well, now you’ve heard my whole sob story, what’s yours? How did you end up in your... very unique line of work?”
“My dad. He got headhunted as a hired gun shortly after he came back from the marines. He taught me almost everything I know.”
“Geez, and your mom? How does she like having two hitmen in the house?”
“She works as a nurse, so she always patches us up and scolds us for being careless. She does make an awesome plate of cookies though.”
Jared sends me a small, honest smile, making my chest feel like it just expanded to about three times its usual size. His voice is soft when he murmurs, “She sounds awesome.”
“I’ll introduce you sometime; she’d love your sweet tooth.”
And then I freeze, realising what I just said.
There’s a bit of an awkward silence after that.
♥
“Jen...” his voice is pitched soft and low. I jump when his hand falls on my neck, squeezing softly. “You’ve been driving for about eighteen hours, man. You need a break. Why don’t you just let me drive?”
I’m about to shake my head, just like all the other dozen times he’s offered to swap, but then I realise that I can barely keep my eyes open.
Pulling onto the shoulder of the road, I give him a jerky nod and slip out of the car, heading for the passenger seat. I’ve barely sat down and I’m already three-quarters of the way to fast asleep.
The last thing I feel is the soft brush of gentle fingers through my hair, then the car rumbles and I slip off into unconsciousness.
♥
Two days later...
“Alright, that’s it,” I mutter, pulling into the motel parking lot. “We deserve a good night’s rest.”
“Yeah,” he groans, “I think my body’s forgotten what it feels like to be able to stretch out.”
And obviously my eyes flick over his lean form at his words, admiring the aforementioned body.
We slide out the car with echoing grunts of pain as feeling returns to our limbs, and slowly begin to limp towards reception.
“One room, two singles,” I call, sliding cash over the table towards the weathered old man.
He grins toothlessly and shakes his head, “The pipe in the section over there burst, all we got is the honeymoon suite.”
At our disbelieving expressions, he shrugs and explains, “Honeymoon’s got its own plumbing... ‘cause it’s a ways into the forest. You gonna take it or what?”
Shooting a glance at Jared’s exhausted, worn features, I nod, “Yeah, we’ll take it.” After the man disappears into the adjourning room, I duck my head to whisper, “Don’t worry, I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“Yeah, sure,” he scoffs softly, “And the whole point of us stopping here was what? For you to end up even more achy and stiff than you are now?”
“Whatever,” I mutter, not wanting to let my mind dwell on the aches, nor on the fact that I’m in store for a hellishly torturous night that is probably going to be the best of my life. If that isn’t pathetic, then I don’t know what is.
♥
I purposefully do not watch him as he squirms out of his jeans, but my avoidance is foiled when he begins trying to take his – my – shirt off.
Unable to ignore the soft, pained hitches of breath, I shift towards him, tugging him until he’s standing directly before me. Moving slowly, I begin unbuttoning his shirt, not even daring to look up, fearful that he’ll see the desire written so clearly on my face.
I don’t know exactly when wanting Jared became a conscious confession, but it really doesn’t help matters at all, especially not with the bare flesh being exposed before my very eyes.
Lean, toned abdomen, flat and tanned, trailing down to a soft brush of light, barely visible blond hair leading down below his pants. Swallowing thickly, I gently begin easing his arms out of the sleeves, being extra cautious with his wounded shoulder.
And then he’s just standing there in his boxers. I’ve never seen him more vulnerable, and the need to hold him close and shield him from the world is so strong that it nearly takes my breath away.
“Uhm...” I clear my throat nervously and drag my eyes away. “I’ll just get you your meds, and then I think it’s about time we changed your bandage.”
“Let me have a shower first, yeah?”
I nod in agreement, “I think we both seriously need one.”
♥
And he obviously turns out to be a cuddler in bed.
I wake up to him tucked under my chin like a freaking kitten – but far cuter, I might add. His body curled up in a foetal position beside me, hand under his chin, injured arm resting across my chest, his hair tickling my nose, his breath warm against my neck: honestly, can anyone blame me for not pulling away?
I lie there, feeling more comfortable than I’ve ever felt in my life, and I drop my arm heavily around his back, feeling muscles and warm skin beneath my fingertips.
Why does he have to be so cute?
I was fine before him. Sure, evenings were kind of lonely, but I got by.
My hand glides up and down the smooth panes of his back, skimming around his bandage and up to slip through his soft hair.
“Jensen?” he murmurs, voice heavy with sleep.
I freeze guiltily, fingers still tangled in his locks.
He lifts up and my hand slides down to rest at his neck.
“Sorry,” I mumble, beginning to push him off me.
Before I even know what’s happening, his lips are sliding smoothly over mine, dragging a low moan from my throat.
“Jared... we shouldn’t... ngrhhh,” I groan against his mouth. Cupping his cheek, I arch up, deepening the kiss, my tongue slipping past his lips into the warm heat.
Then, just as suddenly, he’s pulling away, pressing soft chaste kisses to my face before he rolls onto his side, facing away from me.
What the hell just happened?
Running a hand roughly through my hair, trying to regain control over my jelly limbs, I shift towards him. “Jay?”
And then he’s squirming back against me, ass fitting against my groin and back flush against my chest. Utterly confused, I slowly slide my fingers down the curve of his side, extracting a happy sound from his lips.
His hand grips mine, fingers entwining warmly, dragging until eventually tucking my hand under his chin, so close I can feel his warm breath tickling over my palm.
My body now pressed entirely up against his, I let out a soft sigh, burying my nose in his soft chestnut hair and inhaling his warm scent. Sensing I could be closer, I nudge my thigh between his legs and tighten my grip around his chest.
“Night, Jen,” he whispers, lips brushing over my hand.
I can’t help pressing a soft kiss to the vulnerable skin at the nape of his neck. “Night, kid.”
“’m not a kid!”
I’m laughing as I fall asleep.
♥
♥
Waking up with a warm body snuggling closer to me is so amazing I can’t even explain it. Jared smells so warm, his scent soft and clean, like the purest innocence, and his touch is just as gentle.
He’s still drifting on the edges of sleep, mumbling indecipherable things under his breath, his fingers curling against my chest – almost as though he’s trying to stop me from leaving – and his lithe body is folded up into a tiny ball in the crook of my arm.
There’s only one way I can describe him: absolutely fucking adorable.
“Hmmghh,” he mutters, delicate eyelashes fluttering against his tanned cheek. He tenses up the moment he regains consciousness, and I barely hold back the sigh, knowing that he’s about to pull away.
Then he goes and surprises me by sagging back down, body moulding against mine as he mumbles, “Jensen...”
“Jared?” I whisper, wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do.
He slowly raises up on an elbow, peering sleepily down at me. An easy grin forms on his lips and he reaches out a finger, tracing over my cheek, “You got pillow creases.”
Flushing slightly, I shoot back, “Yeah, well you drooled on me, kid.”
“Did not.”
“Did too.”
“You’re short.”
“You’re...” I wrack my brains for something wrong with him. “Your hair’s messy.”
He raises an eyebrow, “That’s the best you can come up with?”
“Fuck you,” I grumble, but his grin just widens in an annoying gorgeous way. “Now, geroff me, you little bitch.”
“You wound me!” he pouts, bottom lip sticking out, making him look even younger. It should not be a cute as it is. I seriously think I’m becoming a paedophile, and it’s all Jared’s fault.
Taking a deep breath and dragging my gaze away, I glance at my watch. “We should get going soon, the more daylight hours we have, the better.”
His face falls, and he looks away, nodding. I nearly tug him back when he pulls away and slides off the bed, but instead I reach beneath my pillow for my gun.
“You kept that on the bed?” Jared squeaks, his eyes widening.
“Relax, kid. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”
He falls silent, his eyes softening, a small smile nudging at the corner of his lips. “Thanks,” he whispers softly, turning to grab his clothes from the back of a chair.
♥
“...so, yeah... I mean, I figure humans are quite obnoxious to assume that just because we need oxygen and water to survive, all other species, even on other planets – alien life forms – would too. I mean, you’ve heard of extremophiles, right?”
“Uh...” I try not to smile, “No?”
“They’re organisms that can survive in extreme conditions, extreme temperatures, pressures, gas elements, you name it. Some survive in carbon dioxide, some live inside rocks, some like radiation, permafrost, fissures, volcanic reg-”
His adorable, dorky rant is cut off by the ringing of my cellphone, I flip it open with a frown.
“Chris, I thought I told you not to contact me.”
“Jensen, I’m sorry, but we’ve been compromised... One of Mike’s servants sold video footage of us to Malcovich. You don’t have as much of a head start as we would have hoped. Cover your tracks. Watch your back.”
And then he hangs up.
“Shit...” I breathe softly, glancing over and meeting Jared’s concerned eyes. “We have to get off any main roads.”
“We haven’t been on a main road in two days,” he points out.
“Yeah... guess we’re going on gravel now.”
My poor Impala.
“Are the guys alright?” he asks softly, “I mean, Chris ain’t my best bud, and I seriously want payback for him busting my shoulder, but... And Tom ain’t that bad a guy...”
“I don’t know, it depends on what footage the snitch sold. I don’t think they’ll get targeted though. They might just have to lay low for a while.”
♥
“Oh, that’s just great,” I mutter, eying the full page photograph of an extremely familiar face, underlined with the headline: Jerry’s son: missing.
Heading back to the car, where a dozing Jared lies stretched out in the passenger seat, I take a long swing from my coffee, burning my mouth but not caring.
When I tell Jared he freezes for a few seconds, then he begins laughing. But it’s not happy laughter, it’s bitter and hollow.
“It took...” he laughs, “three... three fucking weeks... for... for them t...to even notice...”
Then he begins choking, “You sho- should have fucking killed me... no one cares... no one... fuck... the last time someone gave a damn ‘bout... about me... it was my mom... and she... she just left me alone... couldn’t be bothered to...to stay for me... just left... No one... no one.”
“Jay...” I reach out for him, dragging him close, pressing his face to my chest. He’s shaking so badly and I have no fucking clue what to do. My chest is aching.
Dropping down on my knee, bringing our faces level, I tug him out of the car and into my arms, locking his trembling form tightly against me, my face pressed against his neck. “You got me, Jay... you got me...”
His limbs tighten around me and he whispers, “I don’t want to go back... Please let me stay with you... I... I don’t care what we do or where we go... just... I want to be with you, Jen...”
“Jay...” There is nothing I want more, but I can’t be selfish. “What about school? You have a future ahead of yourself, kid. You’re going to get an awesome, kickass job, maybe even someone special to live with, and you’ll be happy...”
“Do you think I’ll ever be able to be happy if I’m wondering where you are, whether you’re even alive or not, if you’re safe?”
“Jay...” I whisper softly, running my fingers through his hair. “You have to be sure...”
He lifts up, pressing his lips to mine. It’s damp and should be gross, but then he lets out this soft, little whimper, his body edging towards mine, and then my arms are wrapping around his neck, my tongue ravaging his mouth.
“I’m sure,” he murmurs against my cheek when we finally pull apart for air. “I’ve never been more sure...”
♥
How can someone like him want someone like me? He’s just so perfect: smart, gorgeous, innocent, hot as hell, and don’t forget cute, absolutely adorable, and just so sweet, it’s crazy.
I’ve never met anyone quite like him. Nothing explains the feeling I get when he’s curled in my arms, or when his dimples come out, or when he’s teasing me, or when he’s rambling on about something I do not understand in the slightest, or even when he’s just sitting there innocently beside me, just breathing. I’ve never been more stupid around anyone.
“There’s someone behind us,” he murmurs softly, startling me out of my thoughts and snapping me back to reality.
I glance in the rear-view mirror, “No there isn’t, I think I would have noticed if-”
He cuts me off, “Look at the birds... We drive past, they fly, right?” I nod slowly. “They settle after a few moments, back in their trees... There’s someone behind us...”
“Shit...” I breathe softly, eying the flock of birds arching in the sky. I jam my foot down on the acceleration. “If they have an off roader, they’ll catch up to us in no time...”
“What about in there?” Jared points towards an approaching barn and I swing into the drive, parking behind it, shielded and out of sight.
“Can you handle a gun,” I ask him softly, reaching down to my ankle holster.
I’m honestly surprised when he nods confidently. “Before I knew better, my dad used to take me hunting,” he explains, a look of distaste on his face.
I lead him into the barn and up into the loft. “Now, I need you to promise me something.” I wait until he meets my gaze before continuing, “If they get here, I want you to stay out of sight. If I tell you to run, you run. You leave me behind and you get your pretty ass out of here, you understand me?”
“I understand,” he gets out slowly. “But there is no way that I’m promising that.”
“Jared...” I growl, but cut off at the sound of tyres moving over gravel outside. “They’re here.”
Low voices murmur and doors slam, feet crunching on the ground, and I shift Jared further behind me, ignoring his huff of annoyance.
A foot appears in the entrance of the barn down below, I raise my gun, finger tightening on the trigger. Jared’s hand gently falls on my shoulder and he breathes, “Check that it’s them first.”
And that’s when a loud voice laughs, “Yeah, whatever, man. You wish you had a chick like her.” Two teenagers scuffle into view, teasing and shoving each other.
I let out a low breath, glancing over at Jared. It doesn’t escape my notice that I would have just fired as soon as they came in.
“Let’s get out of here.”
I climb begin climbing down the ladder, jumping the last few feet and startling the pair, who shuffle back, guiltily hiding their cigarettes behind their backs. “Sorry, mister,” one kid stammers. “We didn’ know anyone was...” And then they turn on their tails and race out.
Jared hops down beside me and I send him a grin, “Their daddies would probably bust them a new one if they got caught smoking.”
♥
We relax a bit after that, easing up our constant awareness, allowing ourselves a few more hours sleep. His shoulder is finally healed and, besides a few aches, he can move his arm freely again.
“You know, this is actually the most fun I’ve had in years,” Jared gets out with a huff of laughter. “How crazy is that?”
“Well,” I send him a patented leer, “You didn’t have me then, babe.”
“Oh, yeah, I can totally see how my lack of exposure to your ginormous ego could be so boring,” he rolls his eyes, but I can see the fondness in his eyes as clear as anything, and it only enhances the warmth in my chest.
“You love me.”
His mouth opens. Then closes. Then he flushes and looks away, muttering, “Whatever.”
He didn’t deny it. He didn’t deny it. He didn’t-
“Stop looking so pleased with yourself,” he grumbles, punching my shoulder.
♥
“So how come you’ve never had a boyfriend before,” I murmurs softly, fingers stroking through his silky hair.
Jared huffs, gazing up at the sky, his head pillowed on my stomach. “I just... well, mainly because everyone was terrified of my father. My dad wasn’t okay with me being gay...he tried to ignore it and shove it under wraps, so... his son having a boyfriend was a big no no. I never found anyone who wanted to be with me enough to face my dad, so...”
“I’m sorry.”
Laughing softly, he turns his head to meet my gaze. “It’s not your fault, besides... none of that matters now.” He rolls slightly and presses his lips against mine, gently sucking and teasing.
Easily flipping us over, I lay him out on the grass, cupping his cheeks as I deepen the kiss, tongue plunging into his mouth, teeth tugging at his bottom lip, making him whimper and shift beneath me.
He’s the most innocent person I’ve ever met. And, to think that if I’d followed my orders, he would be dead.
I roll off him, feeling nauseous.
“Jen? What’s the matter?” he props up on one elbow, gazing down at me with concerned eyes.
I can’t bear to see the unfathomable trust in his eyes.
“Jen, you’re scaring me.”
I should. I’m a killer. How many innocents have I killed? How many people were put in my books without having done a thing wrong in their lives? I’m a murderer.
“Jen...” his hand gently cups my cheeks, forcing me to meet his eyes. “What is it?”
“I don’t deserve you...”
“What?”
“I’m not a good person, Jared. I’ve killed... so many people... I never used to care that much, I told myself they were evil – why else would their names be on our lists? – and that I was doing society a favour. But it was all just a lie... I could have killed you, Jay...”
“But you didn’t, Jen,” he whispers, dropping his head down in the crook of my neck, his lips brushing against my skin, “You saved me, you’re still saving me. You’ve given up everything for me. I know you’re not a bad person, I know it. I can’t say that everyone you killed was bad, but I know that you would never knowingly hurt an innocent person. And that’s enough. I know you, Jen. I know what you’ve done and who you once were. And I love you.”
My breath catches and I rope my arms tightly around him, burying my nose in his hair and inhaling deeply. “I love you too, Jay. God, so much.”
♥
“Jay, are you okay in there?” I yell through the bathroom door.
“Yeah,” he yells back, and I roll my eyes and wander back to the bed.
“What’s taking you so long, I wanna go to sleep!”
Sulking shamelessly, I fold my arms across my chest and scowl up at the ceiling.
This all dies when he steps out in a cloud of steam, his tanned body glistening damply, his hair curling and his body lithe and gorgeous. Even the scar on his shoulder does nothing to diminish his beauty.
He grins a dimpled grin at me and I feel my insides turning to mush. Shifting beneath the duvet, I try to hide my obvious arousal, but from his flushing cheeks, I know he knows.
“Jen...” he whispers, clambering up on the bed, clutching the towel loosely around him.
My fingers reach out slowly, tracing over the high cheekbones before dragging the smooth lips down to meet mine. His body stretches out over mine, my hands roaming every inch of his silky body. “God, Jay...” I breathe softly, locking my arms around his shoulders and keeping him flush against me.
“Want you, Jen...” he whispers, sliding beneath the covers with me and allowing me to tug away his towel. “Want you in me.”
“Oh, fuck...” I moan, feeling all six feet whatever of his bare skin against me. “Jay...”
Seconds later, he’s not the only one naked, and I flip us over, my skin burning where it’s pressed against him.
“Are you sure, babe?” I whisper softly, kissing down his neck.
His legs slide open, bracketing my hips and drawing our arousals together in sweet friction. “Fuck me, Jen,” he gasps, his blunt nails scratching down my back.
“Okay... okay,” I breathe, biting down at the dip of his shoulder and feeling a jolt of arousal pass through him. “Let me just get some stuff.”
I drag myself out of bed, moaning at the loss, and fumble with my duffle, finally closing my fingers around the tiny bottle and condom.
Then I practically dive back beneath the covers, making him laugh breathlessly.
My hands are shaking as I slink down his lithe body, but the feeling of his gentle fingers in my hair soothes me, and I twist open the cap and drizzle some lube on my fingers. Ducking down to suck his aroused member in my mouth, I gently tease him into a writhing mess before slipping my fingers behind him, carefully working him open.
By the time he’s finally ready for me, I’m so aroused my dick is aching. He slips the condom on me and I attack his lips as I line up. “You ready?”
He nods, taking a deep breath, and I bury my face in the dip of his shoulder as I gently push my way inside of his tight warmth.
Fingers tightening painfully at my arms, he gasps and shifts, ankles hooking around me, forcing me deeper.
I nearly come right then.
After waiting a while for him to adjust, I pull back. Then I slam in, straight on his prostrate, making him arch up in a silent scream.
Finding a pace, I plunge into him, again and again and again. Our bodies moving seamlessly together, his limbs tight around me.
“Please,” he sobs against my neck, “Oh, god, please...”
Reaching between us, I curl my fingers around his hard cock and begin jerking him off in time with my thrusts.
Neither of us last long, and he comes with a soft sob, body spasming around mine and dragging my orgasm out of me. Sagging limply, we lie gasping, bodies so entwined I barely know whose limb is whose.
“Fuck...” I breathe softly, gently sliding out him and stumbling towards the bathroom to get a damp towel.
He lies limply as I clean him up, utterly fucked out and mumbling incoherently. Smiling fondly, I slip back beside him, dragging the adorable hunk into my arms and smothering him with kisses.
“Night, Jay... love you.”
He grumbles, turning to bury his nose under my chin. “Love you too, Jen.”
With my nose pressed in his soft hair, I fall asleep the happiest man in the world.
♥
It’s there in the very next town we pass through. Big and bold on the front page: Jerry shot dead.
My stomach sinks as I watch the blood draining from Jared’s face. He staggers slightly, and I reach out, tugging him to my side and steering him away.
He pulls out of my grasp and heads for a nearby phonebooth. I silently hand him a few coins.
“Jeff, it’s me... Yes, I’m okay. I’ve been on a roadtrip... I know, I’m sorry.... No, I’m with a guy... Yeah, I trust him... Yeah, I heard... What’s happening?... Okay, I’ll see if I can... No, I’ll contact you... Sorry, Jeff... Love you too.” The he hangs his head and replaces the receiver.
When he comes out, he heads straight for me, sagging heavily into my arms.
I hug him closer.
“I’m sorry...”
“I don’t know why I’m upset,” he gets out brokenly. “I hated him.”
“He was your father.”
“He never acted like it. Jeff was more of a father to me than him.”
“I love you.”
He melts against me, and I gently scoop him up into my arms and carry him to the car, peppering kisses down his damp cheeks.
Gently depositing him in the passenger seat, I take off my jacket, laying it over his shaking form. After pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, I pull away, heading round to slide into my seat.
“Jeff says I need to go back there. He says the lawyers are fighting over everything my dad owned. He says... he says everything’s mine, but I need to get there to claim it.”
Ignoring the ache in my chest, I nod slowly. “I’ll give Chris a call. The gang won’t care about catching you now, not now that Jerry’s dead.”
He just silently nods, turning his gaze out the window.
♥
I pull up outside the massive building and swallow thickly. “Well...”
Honestly, what can I say? It’s been fun? I love you so goddamn much and I’m probably going to go wither away pathetically when you’re gone? Do I beg him not to go? He’s a millionaire now. What could I possibly offer him besides aimless roadtrips and rundown motels?
“Jen...” he whispers softly. “I’m scared.”
Shoving aside my own pain, I instantly move towards him, pulling him across the seat and into my arms, “Why?”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Jay... just be yourself. That’s more than enough, believe me. Just... look after yourself... try not to get too big a head. And...” my voice drops to a barely audible whisper, “don’t forget about this... us...”
“What?” he pulls away in alarm, his eyes wide. “Jen, what? You’re leaving? Why? What did I do?”
Frowning, I run my fingers down his arms, “You don’t want me to leave?”
“Why would I want you to leave? I need you, Jen. Is this... is this about the money, the law firm? I... I won’t take it then... I don’t care... just... just don’t go... please...”
I gape at his panicked face for a few seconds before happiness seeps into me. “You’d really give it all up for me?” He nods immediately and I lunge forwards, seizing his lips in mine. “I thought you wouldn’t want me around now.”
His arms tighten around my neck, drawing me closer. “I’ll always want you, Jen. Above everything...”
“Go on then, you have to sign for your millionaire status. Be my sugardaddy.”
Laughing, he punches me softly in my stomach.
♥
Epilogue:
“Jeeennnn,” he whines from across the room and I roll my eyes at his childish, yet utterly adorable pout.
“Yes, Jay?”
He swings his leg over me, smiling seductively as he leans forwards to nip at my ear. “Let’s get out of here,” he breathes softly, shifting his ass directly over my awakening cock and making me groan.
“And go where?” I mutter through gritted teeth, hands roaming up under his shirt, mapping out his silky soft, muscled body.
“Just drive... you and me, the Impala, cheesy motels...”
“Wow, romantic,” I get out sarcastically, but he only grins, teasing his tongue over my lips. “What about Jericho, don’t you need to keep an eye on the bastards to keep them from going back to their wicked ways?”
Laughing, he tugs off my t-shirt, “Nah, Jeff knows what I don’t accept now; he’ll keep everyone strictly above board. And don’t worry about the shooting range, I called in, told them you had a family emergency and won’t be back for the next month or so. They can do without their favourite instructor for a while.”
“You little ughnnn,” I cut off with a groan as he latches onto a nipple.
“Come on, Jen. Say yes.”
My hands slide down to cup his ass, grinding his lithe body down against me. “What will you give me if I do?”
“Well, I would say sex, but you get that anyway,” he laughs, reaching down to unbutton my jeans.
“Would you let me tie you up?” I murmur against his neck, nipping at the delicate skin.
His body jerks, his cock pressing against my thigh, his lust blown eyes widening.
“I guess that’s a yes,” I tease, slipping my fingers beneath the waist band of his pants, squeezing his ass.
“Fuck...” he breathes shakily, and I smirk at the knowledge that I can reduce him to this.
Deciding to be mean, I flip us over and ease him back on the couch, slipping off him. “We’d better get packing then.”
He blinks for a few seconds, his mouth falling open, and I can’t help the bubble of laughter rising up. “Oh, my god. Your face!”
♥
