Fight for what's yours:
Jensen has to deal with a lot of things: the fact that he's in love with Jared is one. But when Chris asks Jared out, everything changes. Tiny trembles were felt as I pressed him closer and it was clear he was fighting the rising tears. Those beautiful eyes peered up through lashes damp with moisture and his broken voice whispered, “Can I stay?” “Oh, Jay…” I murmured, tugging him along the couch until he was practically in my lap and sliding my arms firmly around his torso, giving him the support he needed.
12,000 words, NC-17, Jared/Chris, Jared/Jensen, mentions of non-con (past), bottom!Jared, protective!Jensen, hurt/comfort
♥
I know it’s corny and lame, but I fell in love with Jared the moment I laid eyes on him.
I was following Eric around the Supernatural set, being introduced to the crew I would be working with for the next few years or so, when the bald man’s face suddenly lit up and he pointed across the lot, “And that’s Jared, your brother.”
I followed the man’s finger and my gaze fell on a tall guy with hair falling haphazardly over his eyes and a generous smile on his lips. The brunette was wearing simple jeans – slightly faded and with tears over the knees, but the denim hugged him in a way that was both comfortably loose and tight enough to hint at muscled limbs and a tight ass. His broad shoulders and torso were clad in a plain white tee – again, nothing much, but it hung perfectly on him, tapering down to his narrow waist and hips.
Before him, two massive dogs yapped happily, competing for his attention despite him dishing it out so easily, and it was clear that the pups worshipped him. The man dropped to his knees, arms opening to pull the mutts into his arms and his laughter echoed across the lot.
By the time we reached him, he was sprawled on his back, pressed down by gigantic paws and being subjected to a shower of dog drool. I was almost disappointed when Eric broke the spell and introduced us, but that dissipated the moment Jared looked up, his sparking eyes falling on me, making me feel like I was the centre of his world.
In that moment, something in my chest sputtered and I stepped forward without thought, offering a hand up. Without missing a beat, Jared’s hand slid into mine and he let me hoist him up, using the momentum to pull me into a hug as soon as he was upright.
I knew then that the sweet, innocent man had stolen something from me.
♥
It was never painful, loving him. Well, at least not in the beginning. It was just another thing that got me to roll out of bed each morning: the knowledge that in a few hours I would be on the receiving end of his dimples.
We bounced off each other easily. We got each other. It wasn’t long before inside jokes caused us to collapse into peels of laughter, sometimes so much so that we would have tears streaming down our cheeks and would have to lean against one another for support. All caused by a single raised eyebrow. It drove the crew and directors crazy, but without it life on set would have been completely different.
The kid went around during the first season, learning everyone’s names and forging friendships with each and every one of the people we worked with. He didn’t care about position or status, he had no ulterior motives; he just turned his eyes on someone and made them feel like his whole being was focused on them. But it was never a lie: Jared honestly cared about Susie’s mother who was getting on and Mark’s fear of spiders. That was just how he was, and people loved him. I wasn’t alone in that.
I knew he had Sandy. To tell you the truth, I didn’t mind. She was separate from us. But she was important to Jared. I wasn’t the slightest bit surprised to find out Jared was just as attentive a lover as he was a friend; loyal to the point of smacking me when I pointed out a passing girl to him. When Sandy came to visit, I tried to keep my distance, letting them make up for lost time, but more often than not, Jared would unthinkingly include me in his weekend plans.
It still makes me smile when I think of how he waved his arms about, talking enthusiastically about how cool the beach was going to be, and when I told him to have fun, he’d sent me a confused, wide-eyed look before informing me that I better bring sunscreen or else I’d get even more freckles. That of course resulted in the usual fight as to whether I actually have freckles – which I don’t.
But that was how it went. I just watched him a little more than a best friend would, admiring the way the sun glanced off his golden tan, and sneaking glances at his endless stretch of legs and the way his shirt rose up when he stretched.
He was perfect in every way and he had the sweetest disposition I’d ever seen in anyone, male or female. Sensitive to people’s emotions, he used that ability to adjust his behaviour accordingly, being extra bouncy when exhaustion dragged us all down on set and we needed a booster, or becoming more subdued and focused when the exhaustion was just longing to get the work done as quickly as possible.
It didn’t seem possible that he could be so perfect, and in the first few months, I found myself waiting for his faults to emerge. Discovering them to be eating too much candy and loving his pups too much, I realised that perfection was indeed possible.
♥
Introducing him to Chris and Steve was interesting, particularly with Chris. The long-haired man was just so completely different to Jared that they may as well have been polar opposites. Where Jared’s sweet, Chris’s grouchy. Where Jared’s bouncy, Chris’s lazy. Where Jared’s a relationship type, Chris’s a wham, bam, thank you, ma’am type of guy. Where Jared’s sensitive and never intends to offend or hurt anyone, Chris’s oblivious and blunt, never censoring his language regardless of who might be in the vicinity.
So, the way Chris ignored Jared’s attempts to engage in conversation should have been expected; Chris’s a bastard after all. But Jared looked slightly hurt, his eyes dropping to his beer until I laid a hand on his shoulder, causing him to meet my concerned gaze and muster up a smile for me.
♥
I began to need him more than I’d ever needed anyone. It drove me crazy not to know where he was or who he was with, and text messages would flicker back and forth throughout our separations.
It terrified me when I would wake up in the morning with my first thought being of him. But it was inevitable, my feelings only growing as time passed.
I let him in, let him see me at my absolute worst and he did the same. When scenes got too tough, we got each other out of the Winchesters’ heads. He was always there when I needed him and I tried to do the same for him.
I’d told him I was gay and Danneel was just a friend, but he didn’t care or make a big deal about it. His quiet acceptance meant a lot to me and when he pulled me into a warm embrace, I sank into it for a few moments, allowing him to take some of my weight. “You’re an idiot,” he’d murmured fondly, “As if it would bother me. But thank you for telling me.”
♥
♥
When he told me his plans to get engaged to Sandy, I was happy for him. I honestly was. Sure, there was a spike of pain that raced through me, but I was okay. It wasn’t as if I’d ever expected anything to happen. Having him as my best friend was more than anyone could ever hope for.
It was amusing to watch his incessant planning. He wanted the proposal to be absolutely perfect. Eventually his pleading eyes coerced me into helping, and I found myself stringing up one end of a massive banner while he tied up the other, both of us trying to ignore the cars racing beneath us.
Of course, once Sandy said yes, I was left with a hollow pit in my chest for a few days before I could get myself out of the funk, but that was to be expected.
♥
I had never understood how it could be possible to cry for another person’s pain until Sandy called off their engagement.
Jared said that it was a mutual agreement, but as usual, I could tell when he was lying. However, the full extent of his pain was only discovered by me about a fortnight after the news came.
It was around one in the morning when my doorbell rang, and opening revealed a distraught Jared, his eyes so wide and vulnerable, the first thing I did was yank him into my arms. He was so fragile, allowing me to manhandle him towards the living room, where I deposited him on the couch beside me. Tiny trembles were felt as I pressed him closer and it was clear he was fighting the rising tears. Those beautiful eyes peered up through lashes damp with moisture and his broken voice whispered, “Can I stay?”
“Oh, Jay…” I murmured, tugging him along the couch until he was practically in my lap and sliding my arms firmly around his torso, giving him the support he needed. What worried me most was his lack of protest at being handled like a mannequin, although the way he just curled into me was adorable and way too cute: his arms loose around my neck, face tucked in the dip of my shoulder, his whole body moulding into my hollows as if made to fit in my arms.
When the oncoming storm took over and he dissolved into harsh sobs, I sat uselessly; only able to run my hands up and down his back, pressing him closer. The tears sprung to my eyes unbidden: the consequence of bearing witness to his pain, and I buried my face in his chestnut locks as we rode it out.
After that night, our relationship shifted, becoming more intimate. We touched more; we talked more, and became something indefinable, something past ‘best friends’.
The first time I consciously noticed it, we were in the make-up trailer and Jared was busy sucking at a lollipop, his lips rosy red and sticky around it, way too obscene for my liking. Without conscious thought, I reached over, snagged the end of it and slipped it out of his mouth, turning back to the mirror with a smirk on my lips at his whine of protest as I popped it into my own mouth. Jared didn’t even notice what was wrong, just continued grumbling until he found another lollipop in his candy stash; but it was the matching shocked expressions on the make-up girls’ faces that clued me in, and I realised that the deliciousness I was tasting was probably that of the candyman beside me. My cheeks had flushed and burned, but the damage was done.
Even after I moved in with him, I wasn’t bothered that people thought we were a couple. Neither was Jared, in fact, he fuelled the rumours every chance he could. Sometimes it hurt, having to deal with the constant unfairness of it all, wanting Jared in every way possible, everyone thinking I had him in all the ways possible, and only having him up to a certain point. But the problem with trying to get depressed around Jared was that it was practically impossible, one dimpled grin, one glance from sparkling eyes, one random hug, and I would swell with warmth once again.
My life was good. All my plans were with Jared, even so far as to stay in when he was feeling tired despite raring to go earlier. My favourite moments were those spent curled up on the couch after a long day, our exhausted limbs falling haphazardly and nothing but comfort between us.
Sometimes I wondered whether he too wanted to do more than just lean casually up against me. But I was never brave enough to tell him how I felt. I never told anyone, actually. The thought of the precious relationship that we had being chipped or severed always snapped my mouth shut.
♥
It was about three months after Jared’s broken engagement when we were out with Chris and Steve at the beach. My eyes had barely flickered from the toned Adonis laughing and splashing in the waves, his hair blowing every which way and his insanely sexy shorts clinging to him like a second skin.
Jared didn’t ever know just how hot he looked. Sure, he knew he wasn’t bad looking, but he thought that was all he was. He’s so self conscious about some things, and always preferred wearing baggy hoodies to skin-tight shirts, despite his washboard abs and perfectly toned body. Sometimes I just wanted to strangle him for being so obliviously sexy.
But, there I was, ogling him from behind my sunglasses, when Chris nudged me, jerking my gaze away from the water cascading down Jared’s chest. “Hey, Jensen?” he asked gruffly, “Is Jared seeing anyone?”
Desperately trying to keep the flush from my cheeks, I managed to stutter out, “Uh… no… I don’t think… why?”
Chris shrugged and that had been the end of the conversation as Jared had raced up the beach, dripping with water as he dive-bombed me, stealing a groan from my lips as I tried to roll him off me. Laughing, he just shuffled around, stretching his legs out perpendicular to me and using my stomach as his pillow. Jared grinned up at the older man beside me, “Hey, Chris.”
Chris smiled and reached out to poke the kid’s bare belly, causing him to wriggle and squirm with laughter. “Jens, save me…” he got out between giggles, throwing his arms over my chest, “Save me!”
Smirking, I wrapped my arms around him and yanked him backwards, flipping him onto my other side, safely away from the deviously grinning Chris. “I’ll save you,” I whispered into Jared’s ear, making the man snort and sling his arms around me, cheering, “My hero!” and we all burst out into peals of laughter.
Steve raised the sunglasses from his eyes and muttered, “Damn kids,” but he was betrayed by the smile tugging at his lips.
♥
It was two weeks after that incident when Jared shuffled into my room, looking for all the world as if he had seen a ghost. Quickly scooting over to make room for him, I waited until he was tucked safely beneath the duvet before asking what it was.
Looking up at me with those eyes of his, he mumbled something inaudible and his cheeks lost their ashen pallor, flushing an adorable pink as he tugged the duvet higher.
“What was that?” I asked softly, shifting closer until our sides were pressed reassuringly together.
“I think Chris likes me,” he whispered.
Still confused, I nodded, “Yeah, sure he does. We all do.”
“No…” Jared moaned in frustration, “I think he asked me on a date!”
“What?”
I had known Chris batted for both teams but I never thought he’d be into Jared, which was stupid of me because who wouldn’t be into Jared?
Curling towards me, Jared hid his face in the dip of my shoulder and mumbled, “He called me just now and asked me if I wanted to go to the lake tomorrow. I told him I’d see if you felt like it, but then he said, not you, just me and him. What does that mean? I… Jens, I’m straight… I mean, I think I’m straight…. Am I straight?”
He sounded so lost and confused that I just hugged him closer despite my inner turmoil. All I felt like doing was hiding the kid away, never letting Chris or anyone else near him; I wanted to tell him he belonged to me and that if he was having a sexuality crisis I should be the one helping him through it. But instead, like a coward, I just whispered, “Well, do you like Chris back?”
“I… I don’t know…” Jared pressed his face against my neck, inhaling deeply, “I just… I can see he’s hot… but I… I never thought about… Maybe? I don’t know… Jens, I don’t know.”
Instead of kissing him until the only guy he could think of was me, I just told him to see how it went.
♥
They got together. And all I could think about was that I had missed my chance. If I had only confessed and told Jared how I felt, I could have been the one holding him like that, I could’ve been the one teasing him into a kiss, I could’ve been the one with the most perfect man in the world as my lover, I could have been where Chris was.
When Steve found out about the relationship, the man paled and pulled me aside telling me that Chris didn’t do relationships and that Jared was going to get hurt. All I could think about was the series of dates the pair had gone on over the past month, and I disagreed with Steve despite my burning desire to storm in and rip Chris away from my best friend.
They hadn’t gotten much further than kissing as far as I knew, and I knew practically everything as I was Jared’s confident and he never kept a thing from me. He was becoming more infatuated with the man, and his excitement prior to seeing the singer would have been adorable had it not hurt so much.
It was two weeks later when Jared’s date ran through until the morning after. He limped in at about eleven the next day, looking dishevelled and like sex on legs. His cheeks were flushed and his lips were raw, a vicious hicky visible at the side of his neck and yesterday’s clothes on. When he sat down tenderly and couldn’t hide the wince, all I wanted to do was slam him up against the wall and seal my lips over his throat, erasing any traces of Chris and marking him as my own. But I just smirked at him and slid over a mug of coffee.
The ache of longing in my chest never blew away, growing stronger and stronger each day until it came so that I would always have to look away when Chris was there. I began to dread hearing about the relationship from Jared and was relieved when he finally stopped telling me.
I think that was why it took me so long to notice. I looked away from Jared for the first time.
♥
“Jeez, Jared,” on of the girls from costume wardrobe muttered, causing me to glance over.
Jared was standing glumly while Dianne adjusted the waist of Sam’s jeans. The jeans barely clung to his slim hips and I wondered just when he’d gotten so skinny.
Taking a closer glance at my friend, I realised he didn’t look too great. There were shadows beneath his eyes and the spark in his eyes had dimmed.
The moment I got him alone, I began interrogating him. But instead of his usually forthcoming chatter, he barely murmured a word.
“You used to tell me everything,” I muttered, frustrated and hurt over the fact that he wasn’t talking to me. Jared had always opened up to me and right then he was like a closed book.
“I’m fine, Jensen… Just a bit tired, that’s all.”
“Is it Chris?” I had to ask.
He stopped, his shoulders tensing as if he was gearing up to say something important. But then, after a beat, he left.
As I watched his retreating back, a terrified emptiness filled me and I had no clue what I was supposed to do. He was scarcely around the house nowadays and it was so silent without his easy laughter and warm smiles. I missed him even though I was with him every day.
When I called Steve, his response was subdued, worried. “Jensen. I told you, Chris doesn’t do relationships. For him it’s all about the thrill of a new conquest, the lust and need. He never hangs around long enough for anything else. I had hoped with Jared it would be different…”
“You mean he’s cheating on Jared?” I growled into the phone.
♥
“Jay?” I called softly as I edged into the room, “You awake?”
I could tell from his breathing that he was, but I decided to give him the option. Finally his hoarse reply broke the silence and I quickly moved across the room, slipping in under his covers, lying on my side to peer down at him.
“Tell me if I need to kill Chris and I’ll do it. I will slaughter him if he’s the one hurting you.”
His eyes shimmered but remained fixed on the ceiling even as I nudged closer, pulling him against me. After a few moments of nothing but breathing, he tilted his head towards me, his lips parting softly. “Jens… is there… is there something wrong with me?”
“What?”
Closing his eyes, he pressed his nose to my arm, “Is there something… something bad about me?”
“No, Jay… You know there isn’t a thing wrong with you…” I brushed my nose softly over his brow, “You know that.”
“Then why... why does it keep happening to me?… I saw him, Jens… I saw him in the bathroom mirror… with… with…”
Dampness seeped through my shirt and, when I didn’t make any move to pull away, Jared let out a soft, broken sob and slid his arms around me. He clutched me tightly as he choked out, “Am I that bad in bed? Am I… that bad a boyfriend? I don’t… Jens, what do I do wrong to make… I never told you why… why Sandy broke it off, did I? There was…” he let out a hoarse laugh, “There was someone else… someone better… someone who wasn’t me… and now… Chris? I don’t… Jen, I don’t know what to do… I don’t want to be alone… I don’t want to… it hurts so much…it hurts…”
“Shhhh,” I soothed gently, curling around him and slinging a leg protectively over his, encasing him in my arms, “They don’t deserve you, man. You know you’re worth more than all that. You’re perfect, Jare… Perfect…”
“Why can’t I just be loved?” he breathed, “I just want someone to love who won’t hurt me. I just…” he trailed off, dropping his head on my arm as exhaustion began to creep in.
After gazing down at his beautiful, tear-streaked face for a long while, I bent down to whisper a soft, “Do you trust me,” in his ear.
His breath caught and he nodded without thought, “You know I do.”
“Good.” Finally doing what I should have done months earlier, I pressed my lips to his, swallowing his gasp and applying gentle pressure until his mouth softened beneath mine and he exhaled slowly. His hand slid up the side of my face, fingers threading through my hair as he pulled me back down.
“Jen…” he breathed, lips parting under the teasing of my tongue, allowing me to plunge into his warmth. As our tongues met and battled, he let out a soft whimper, falling limp against the pillow as I pressed closer.
His face twisted into something unrecognisable, and he turned his eyes away, whispering faintly, “Don’t. Please… don’t…”
Instantly falling still, I ran a hand down his cheek, “Jare… what is it?”
A silent tear trickled from his eyes as they slid closed and his voice was barely there when he murmured, “I know you’d do anything for me, but this… this is too much.”
“Jay,” I pulled his face towards me, forcing him to meet my gaze, “I’ve wanted to do this since the very first day I met you, that’s how long I’ve been holding back.”
“Oh…” he blinked and that was the end of his resistance.
As I scattered open-mouthed kisses down his bare chest, lingering over his nipples, he cried out, gasping beautifully. His back arched enough for me to slide my arm under, holding him up against me, and my fingers slid up to fist in his soft curls as he dropped his head back into my palm, baring his neck for my greedy mouth to taste.
He whimpered softly as my teeth sealed over his vulnerable throat, sucking my ownership into his skin. “Jens…” he murmured, trying to turn his head for a kiss only to have me mouthing down beneath his ear, whispering damply, “I’ve got you, Jare… I’ve got ya.”
A shudder moved through him as his eyes fluttered closed, his hands tightening their grip of my shirt minutely.
I pulled back enough to have a clear view of his debauched form, brushing the hair back from his face and smiling as he nuzzled into my touch. “So perfect,” I breathed, kissing the tip of his nose softly. A shy smile spread over his lips, so I kissed his nose again, this time producing a giggle and a blush.
His eyes flickered open and narrowed, as if daring me to comment. I just smirked innocently and sealed our lips together, silencing us both
As my palms slid up to cradle the sides of his face, his eyes fluttered closed and he leant into my touch, making me swell with warmth and have to swallow down the desperate urge to tuck him safely into my arms and never let go. That would have just been possessive… and kind of creepy.
Instead, I slid my hands down his muscled torso and beneath him, cupping his ass and squeezing slightly. His stifled hiss didn’t go unnoticed by me, and I pulled back in concern. “You okay?”
An adorable flush of pink spread across his cheeks and he lowered his eyes, “Yeah… just… just a bit sore still…”
“How long ago…?”
“Uhm… last week Friday… he… I… I saw him… on… on Saturday with…”
“Friday? And you’re still sore?”
Jared blushed further and began gnawing his bottom lip. “It… uh… got better… after the first… the first few times… Got used to it…”
“Jesus, Jay! It’s not meant to be that… that painful!” my hands waved angrily through the air. “He hurt you? Every single time you had sex, he hurt you?”
“Jen… just... calm down, he didn’t… it just… I’m just inexper-“
“-No, don’t you finish that sentence, Jared! You were a fucking virgin and he didn’t prep you properly! I’m going to kill him. I am going to fucking slaughter him and feed him to sewer rats. He fucking… he fucking hurt you… he fucking hurt you… Why the hell didn’t you tell me? Jared, fucking hell! It’s not supposed to hurt that much!”
“’m sorry…” Jared mumbled faintly, his eyes downcast and almost submissive…
An awful thought occurred to me and I gently tilted his chin up, forcing him to meet my gaze. “Jared… what did Chris do to you?”
“I… it was… Jen…” Jared begged softly, tears trickling down his cheeks. “Just… don’t….”
“No one, Jared. Fucking, no one, gets to hurt you like that, you hear me? Jesus, why didn’t you tell me?”
As his lips parted to respond, I closed the distance between us and swallowed down his words. Every few moments, I growled angrily against his lips and murmured, “Fucking kill him.”
Jared’s body trembled beneath mine as the man tried to hold it together, but eventually he pulled back, his hand softly pressing at my chest as his glistening eyes peered up at me helplessly. “Can… I can’t…” he bit his lip and his eyes slid down, focusing on my neck. “It’s… it’s too…” Taking a deep breath, he stammered on, “Can we not… not go so fa… fast? I… I just…” A drop of blood beaded on his bottom lip, rosy red against his skin. “I mean… if… if you want… we can… but...”
My only response was to flop down on my back and slide my arms around his shivering form, yanking him across my chest and burying my face in his hair.
“Fuck, Jared…” I swore softly, fighting the rising moisture in my eyes. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”
“I’m sorry, Jens…” he choked out, his own tears dampening the skin of my neck. “It’s okay…it’s… we can… you can do it now if… if you want…”
Tightening my arms around him to the point of pain, I sobbed softly in his hair, “Why didn’t you tell me he was hurting you like this? Why… why didn’t I notice? Why didn’t… why didn’t I see? I’m sorry, Jare… Fuck… I’m so sorry…. I should have seen. I should have… I should have claimed you as mine ages ago… I should… I should’ve…. You honestly think I would… force you to have sex with me when you’re this fucking vulnerable? Fuck, Jay… How did it get this bad?”
His arms wrapped around my torso, clutching me desperately. “You’re not mad at me?”
Gently cupping his chin, I raised his head up, forcing him to meet my gaze, trying to convey how much I meant my words, “Never, Jared. You’re… god… you have no idea what you mean to me, do you? I’m going to make that bastard regret the day he was born.”
“But…” Jared’s hands tentatively moved over my chest, “He’s your best friend… you… you love him…”
My fingers skimmed soothingly through his hair as I shook my head slightly. “No, Jared. You’re my best friend. The only one I love is you.”
His breath caught and his wide eyes stared up at me for a few seconds before he quickly looked away.
I didn’t have a clue how this skittish kid had slipped into my best friend or when it had happened, but I knew that I’d do anything to get my friend back.
“Jared,” I murmured, gently thumbing at the hollows in his cheeks, “It’s true. And after I’ve finished with him, that fucking bastard can go to hell for all I care.”
As another teardrop slid down his pale face, I softly brushed it away and pressed a kiss in its wake. “You and me, Jay… You and me…”
He sagged down against me, burying his face in the crook of my neck as his hands fisted loosely in my shirt. I trailed my fingers down across his shoulders, gently pressing him closer and locking him in my arms.
♥
♥
“Steve, tell me where the asshole is, right the fuck now!”
“Jensen, I don’t think that’d be a good idea. Besides, I already punched him for cheating on Jared.”
“You don’t fucking get it, Steve! That bastard hurt Jared! He fucking hurt him and no one, I repeat: no one, ever gets to hurt him! I’m going to tear Kane apart and make him wish he was dead!”
“He cheated, Jensen. He’s Chris, and I warned you that this would happen.”
I squeezed the bridge of my nose tightly, “It’s not only about the cheating, Steve. The… fuck… Jared’s a mess… He’s… he was scared of me, Steve. He thought I was…” my voice cracked, “He thought I was going to force him, man. That doesn’t come from nothing. I… I don’t know exactly what Chris did… but, every… every fucking time, he hurt Jared… as in – pain for over a week afterwards. That’s… god… Steve, I don’t know what to do… Jay’s… he’s not in a good place and I… fuck… He jumps when I touch him and…” my voice dropped to a whisper, “It hurts, Steve… He’s scared of me… he’s scared of me…”
There was a long, stunned silence, followed by a low curse and, “I’m going to kill him.”
“Please… where is he...? I need… fuck… I need to hurt him right now…”
“Since I kicked him out, he’s been staying at the motel on Devon Street. I’m getting in a cab now, I’ll meet you there. Don’t go in without me.”
“I can’t promise that, Steve,” I growled, already gunning the car into motion and pulling out the parking bay.
♥
I barely paused to lock the doors behind me, not caring about a thing beyond making Chris feel pain. As I was striding up to entrance, a sudden flashback hit me.
I was busy ogling him from behind my sunglasses when Chris nudged me, jerking my gaze away from the water cascading down Jared’s chest. “Hey, Jensen?” he asked softly, “Is Jared seeing anyone?”
Desperately trying to keep the flush from my cheeks, I managed to stutter out, “Uh… no… I don’t think… why?”
Chris shrugged and that had been the end of the conversation as Jared had raced up the beach, dripping with water as he dive-bombed me, stealing a groan from my lips as I tried to roll him off me. Laughing, he just shuffled around, stretching his legs out perpendicular to me and using my stomach as his pillow. Jared grinned up at the older man beside me, “Hey, Chris.”
Chris smiled and reached out to poke the kid’s bare belly, causing him to wriggle and squirm with laughter. “Jens, save me…” he got out between giggles, throwing his arms over my chest, “Save me!”
Smirking, I wrapped my arms around him and yanked him backwards, flipping him onto my other side, safely away from the deviously grinning Chris. “I’ll save you,” I whispered into Jared’s ear, making the man snort and sling his arms around me, cheering, “My hero!” and we all burst out into peals of laughter.
Maybe that was a sign, I thought for a few seconds, before common sense returned and I shook my head, reaching for the doorknob.
“Chris Kane,” I growled at the receptionist. “What’s his room number?”
The weathered old man was hardly fazed, simply spinning his check-in book around and staring in the other direction. After skimming down to the bastard’s name, I nodded at the owner once more and spun around, heading straight for the room.
After five bangs, Chris’ annoyed voice yelled back, “What?”
A couple more thumps and the door was suddenly yanked open. Chris gaped at me for a few seconds before he broke into a wide grin, “Jenny! Awww, you missed me!”
In two quick moves, I slammed him back and against the wall, kicking the door shut behind me. My arm was pressed firmly against his throat as I drew my right fist back, smashing it into his face so hard I heard a crunching of bone.
He let out a loud, angry bellow and shoved me away from him, one hand trying to stem the rush of blood pouring out his nose while the other punched into me. His hits barely registered in my adrenaline-filled rage, I kept on and on swinging blows down on him. “What the hell, Jensen?” he yelled out. “Fuck’s the matter with you?”
“No one,” I hissed, kicking his side, “Fucking no one gets to hurt Jared like that! You asshole! How could you fucking do that to him? He trusted you! He fucking…” my anger rendered me silent as I blocked one of Chris’ attacks and my knuckles collided with his already broken nose. With a howl of agony, Chris’ arms came up, no longer attempting to hit me, only protecting himself.
Who knows what would have happened had Steve not shown up when he did, Chris was a bloody mess on the floor, but that didn’t stop me. The sheer terror that had been on Jared’s face, the pain and fear and everything that had never been there before, those were all thanks to Chris and my fists kept moving.
Steve caught my arm before I could land another blow and he dragged my struggling form away. After he managed to locate my keys, I was shoved into my car and only looked up when it pulled to a halt some twenty minutes later. “What are we doing at your house?” I mumbled, already staggering out the car.
“Getting you cleaned up before you go home to your boy. Jared doesn’t need to see you like this. Hell, I didn’t need to see you like this.”
When I headed into the bathroom and glanced up at the mirror, I realised what he meant. My face and clothes were splattered with blood. My eyes were slightly reddish from crying through my attack on Chris, and there was blood trickling from my lip. I looked a right monster.
The thought of Jared seeing me like that had me cringing and a wave of gratefulness towards Steve surged up inside of me.
After a thorough scrubbing, I made my way out of the bathroom, smiling at the pile of clothes the other man left out for me. Once dressed, I headed towards the living room and pulled Steve into a tight hug. “Thank you,” I murmured.
He shook his head, “Don’t thank me, man. I love Jared: he’s like a kid brother to me. What Kane did is absolutely disgusting. If I hadn’t been worried about you goin’ to jail, I would’ve let you tear the asshole apart. Hell, I think I would’ve done it myself.” He slid over my car keys, “You should go home.”
♥
“Jay?” I called softly, peering through the darkness. “You home?”
When no reply came, I let out a soft, disappointed sigh and wandered up to my room, only to find him curled beneath my covers. His eyes darted towards me and a soft, “Hey, Jens…” was mumbled.
Smiling happily, I began stripping down to my boxers and tee. “How was it on set today?”
“It was boring… missed you.” He looked away with a flush staining his cheeks.
Clambering up the bed and wriggling in beside him, I gently tugged him into my arms. “Yeah? Missed you too, Jay… Anyway, tomorrow Sam and Dean have a couple of scenes together. That’ll be cool.”
He raised his head up and gazed down at me, his soft eyes widening when they flickered down to my cheek. His fingers brushed delicately over my skin as a crease grew on his forehead. “What happened here?” A thumb brushed over my raw lip, “Here?”
Realising that lying would be the absolute worst thing to do in this situation, especially considering how Jared’s trust levels were shaky as it was, I began carding my fingers gently through his soft hair. “I went to see Chris.”
Jared’s whole body tensed and he shied back from me slightly, keeping his eyes lowered. “What happened?”
“I beat him.”
As he looked away, his bangs slipped down into his face, making it impossible to see his expression. “I didn’t want that.”
“Jay…” I reached out for him, but his hand stilled mine, displaying the raw knuckles. “I had to, Jare… He hurt you.”
“You’re not my avenging angel, Jens…. It’s not your job.”
“Jared…” my hands slid up to sweep the hair from his face, revealing glistening eyes peering up through damp eyelashes. “It is my job. You’re…” I let out a soft sigh, “Jay, don’t you get it? You’re innocent, and people… Chris took advantage of that. He deserved a lot worse than I gave him.”
“Jens… he didn’t do anything that bad… I mean… he cheated on me, but… but that happens… And, he was a bit rough, but… he…”
“Roll over,” I ordered, swallowing the bile even as I did so.
He blinked at me for a few seconds, his face draining of colour.
“I said, roll over!” I snapped. “Show me your ass, now!”
Tears began to slip down his cheeks, but he did as I commanded, rolling over onto his stomach, his whole body trembling.
“Fuck… ‘He didn’t do anything bad’, huh?” I whispered softly against his shoulder blades, spooning around him and wrapping my arms firmly across his chest. “Right then, Jared. You thought… fuck, you thought I was going to rape you. And you… you would’ve just let me. You really think I would ever do that, Jay? You think I could hurt you like that?”
Harsh sobs began wracking through him, and shook in my arms. “N… no…Jens… I… ‘m sorry… ‘m sorry…”
“Shhhh,” I murmured soothingly, rubbing small circles against his chest and nuzzling the soft hair at the back of his neck. “I’d never do that to you, Jared. Never.”
Twisting in my arms, he buried himself against my chest, tears seeping into my t-shirt. “I know… I know, Jens…’m sorry…. I’m just… I just…”
“It’s okay, Jare…”I breathed, tilting his face up for a damp kiss. He sagged into it, still crying as he desperately pressed closer.
“Please… please don’t le… leave me…” he begged against my lips, his hands clutching at my shirt.
“Jared… what part of I love you don’t you get? I’m not going anywhere, kid.” My fingers slid back into his hair as I surged forwards, pressing him down against the mattress, desperately wanting to shield him from the world. “No one is ever going to hurt you like that again. You wanna know why?” I pulled back enough to see him nod, then ducked down to nip at his earlobe, “Because…” another nip, “you…” my lips brushed over his cheekbone, “are mine…” I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth, scraping my teeth over it before releasing.
His trembling started up again, but this time it wasn’t in fear. With his fingers gripping me painfully tight, he gazed up at me through shining eyes. “Promise?” he whispered brokenly.
A single chaste kiss to his nose had his eyelashes fluttering closed, but when I replied with a soft, “Promise,” his eyes snapped open again.
“But… what about… What if… What about the… the media… I…”
With a soft huff of laughter, I interrupted his frantic babbling, “None of that matters… None of it…”
“But…”
“Shhh, Jay… I mean it, I don’t care about anything like that. So long as I have you,” my arms tightened, drawing him closer, “just like this, I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”
A small smile formed on his lips, so beautiful that my fingers just had to trace over it to check whether it was real, and he blushed a soft shade of pink. Sure my chest was going to explode with the increasing bubble of warmth, I nudged him onto his side, curling behind him, “Come on, dude. Let’s gets some sleep.”
With my nose buried in the back of his hair, I inhaled deeply and skimmed my fingers up the dip of his waist. He wriggled, reaching back to pull one of my arms across his chest and, as he threaded his fingers in mine, he pressed my palm to his heart.
“’mnight, Jens…” he mumbled.
I brushed my lips over the back of his neck and smiled, “Night, kid.”
♥
It was two days later that I finally got the courage to ask him.
When I entered the living room he was curled up on the couch with a soft, blue blanket tugged up to his nose and his feet tucked beneath him.
Sagging onto the cushion beside him, I opened my arms with an eyebrow raised in question. He just blushed and shuffled over, folding into my arms. “Morning,” I whispered huskily against his forehead, getting an inaudible, mumbled response against my throat.
I swallowed thickly and decided just to go for it, “Jay… how did… I mean… what did he…” I let out a soft sigh, sliding my hands up and down his bare spine. “Why did he hurt you? I just… I don’t understand why he would ever want to hurt you. Did he get drunk or something?”
Jared was silent for so long I nearly checked whether he was still awake.
“It…” we both jumped slightly at the jagged sound that came from his lips. He cleared his throat and tried again, “It was the… I think it was the fifth date we’d been on when he asked me to… to suck him… I didn’t mind that much… I mean… I really liked him and I wanted him to feel good. So I tried… but… it didn’t go so well… He… he began thrusting and I couldn’t breathe… and I tried to pull back but he… he held my hair…”
Bile filled my throat, but I remained silent, pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead.
“Afterwards he apologised… said he thought I was enjoying myself… and he promised it would never happen again… Everything was good for a while… Then… about a week later, he wanted… wanted to fuck me…” Jared’s breathe hitched slightly and his fingers twitched against my shirt.
“I… I didn’t… I didn’t feel ready… so… he… he accused me of being in love with… you…”
“Me?”
“Yeah… he said… said that I was cheating on him with you and that he… he could never compete with you…” Jared raised his face from my throat and gave me a wobbly smile, “I guess he was kind of right…”
“He guilted you into having sex?”
Jared’s eyes slid to the side, staring at the wall behind the couch. “I let him… he said it would hurt… and it did… It hurt… hurt so badly… I… I couldn’t stop crying… even when it finally started to feel good…”
“Jay… oh, god, baby…” I murmured, dragging him into my arms.
“After a while… I just got used to it… I didn’t want him to think I was cheating… I didn’t want him to leave…I thought… he said it was normal and that I was just being childish…” Jared mumbled into my skin. “I don’t… I don’t get how it can not hurt…”
I squeezed my eyes closed, wishing Steve had let me kill Chris. “Jared… god… I want to show you… show you how amazing it feels… to be part of someone, to move together… Jared, there’s nothing like it… When… when you feel ready, Jay… fuck, the things I’m going to do to you… show you everything, dude…Gonna make you feel so good.”
A shudder passed through the man’s body and I clutched him closer to me, lowering my voice. “Gonna make you so hot for it… You’ll forget anyone else ever laid their hands on you. Be just me. My hands touching you everywhere, getting you so worked up you won’t be able to think clearly. Will you be loud for me, Jare?” My hands slid down to cup his ass gently, stealing a groan from his lips. “Yeah…” I whispered softly as I peppered kisses down his neck, “Just like that, Jay…
I rolled us over, stretching out above him. “I’ll press you down on the bed, just like this…” Brushing my lips over his, I smiled down at him. “And I’ll show you… show you how it feels to be loved like you deserve to be…”
As I ground down against him, he let out a soft whimper and his hands fluttered up to grip at my shirt, pulling me down. “Please, Jens…” he whispered, “Please… show me…”
Laughing softly, I swiped the hair from his face, cradling his face in my palm, “Not so fast, kid… not so fast… We’ll get there… I promise you, we’ll get there…”
And he positively whined, his head thumping back down on the couch cushion in disappointment.
Still grinning, I skimmed my hands over his bare chest, flicking my thumbs over his nipples and making him gasp in surprise. “I didn’t say we couldn’t do anything.”
He squirmed in arousal, his dick distracting me from where it tented his boxers, and I don’t know who moaned louder when I reached between us, cupping it through the thin cotton. He was hot and hard, and it wasn’t long before I was sliding down to kneel on the ground before the couch.
“Jen, what are you- oh,” Jared gasped as I tugged his boxers down and off, exposing him to the night’s air. A deep flush spread across his cheeks, neck and chest, and his legs began to close as he tried to hide his dick from me.
Tsking softly, I batted his hands away and soothing rubbed his stomach, “You’re gorgeous, Jay… I wanna see all of you…”
“Jens…I…” he mumbled, shifting uncomfortably.
“Shhh,” I pulled his legs towards me so I was kneeling between them, Jared’s cock standing big and perfect before me. “So fucking hot, Jared…”
He let out a low moan, his legs involuntarily closing, which only caused them to wrap around me, pulling me closer. Reaching out, I began teasing my fingers over his length, loving how his belly fluttered at everything I did. With one hand splayed over his abdomen, I leant forwards, slowly sucking his dick into my mouth.
A full body shudder ran through him and his lips parted in a silent scream, his eyes rolling back. In all my life I’d never seen anything hotter than his muscled form laid out before me, breathless and flushed with arousal.
I began teasing my tongue up and down, flicking over his slit occasionally. Writhing and gasping, Jared tried valiantly not to thrust, but I soon put an end to that.
“Jen… Jen… ohgod… god…ungh…” Jared moaned, his head thrashing back and forth.
I hummed a happy response, reaching my free hand down to fondle his balls. The added stimulation pushed him over the edge and, with a choked cry, he was coming.
After swallowing as much as I could, I pulled back, curiously tasting the lemony musk on my tongue. “Jens…” Jared breathed, sounding completely worn out as he reached down for me. Sliding up onto his lap, I straddled him and seized his lips in a brutal kiss, grinding against his stomach for friction.
Jared’s hands slipped down to my pants, shaking slightly as his fingers undid the buttons, pushed my briefs out the way and pulled my cock out. Then his arms came around me, pressing me tightly against him, and my movements became more frantic as I ground my dick against his naked abs.
I nearly died.
My hands tangled in his hair, pressing his face to my throat, and the brush of his lips against my skin was all it took to have me shooting spunk all over his bare chest. Wave after wave passed through me before I finally sagged down, nearly crushing him beneath me. We keeled over onto our sides, arms still wrapped tightly around each other as our harsh breathing gradually began to slow.
When common sense was returned to me, I shrugged out of my t-shirt and cleaned us off. After a few moments, I squirmed out of the rest of my clothes as well, seeing no point in wearing them.
Pulling a naked Jared into my arms, I couldn’t help the ridiculously happy grin that spread over my lips as I buried us beneath the blanket.
“Jay… you okay?” I whispered against his cheek.
He just grunted an affirmative sound, his eyes still closed. I wriggled closer, entwining our legs together and biting off a groan when our exposed dicks rubbed together. “I love you, Jay.”
That had his eyelids fluttering open, revealing soft, warm eyes. His smile was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen and I nearly mauled him again. “Love you too, Jens, so much… That was…” he bit his lip.
Brushing our lips together, I let out a slow breath, “Yeah, it really was… And it’s only gonna get better…”
He snorted softly, “Better than that? Yeah, sure…”
I grinned against his cheek, “Just you wait…”
Hooking his ankle further around mine, he mumbled, “Gonna kill me…”
It was with a wide grin on my lips that I finally fell asleep.
♥
♥
After that things only got better. Sam and Dean fought evil things and bitched, and we only got closer and closer. It was weird to think that we’d been missing this camaraderie before, but comparing before to now, it was blatantly obvious. I wouldn’t have thought this kind of relationship possible before it happened.
Jared was, above and beyond, the best lover I had ever had.
It was the little things he did that made it all the more special for me. Stuff like pressing up against me whenever we sat on the couch, alternately curling around my chest or letting me spoon him when we slept, falling asleep on me (a lot), and basically handing over his trust on a golden platter.
At night, I explored his body, marvelling at how responsive he was and living for the hitching gasps he made as I discovered each sensitive spot.
And all of this, I admit, took over my thoughts. During Dean’s angsting scenes, I found myself gazing at ‘Sam’, wondering why no one else seemed to be salivating over him. It was an utter mystery to me.
He was like an addictive drug, an obsession I couldn’t even imagine giving up. I didn’t even care if he never felt ready for ‘actual’ sex; we were doing just fine without that.
I guess it must have been because of the love-cloud clogging up my brain that I forgot about the not-so-little problem of Kane.
Stumbling into the house with Jared half asleep at my side, I froze as I stepped into the living room.
“Get the fuck out,” I growled, pushing Jared behind me.
Chris looked hurt. “Jensen, what the hell’s the problem with you? Would a little hospitability kill you?”
“To you it might. Now get the fuck out of here before I call the cops.”
He took a step back, “Is that any way to talk to a dude you’ve been friends with for four years?”
My hands began itching to fist their way to his face. “Fuck you, Kane. You think I’d ever care for you after what you did to Jared?”
“To Jared? Ahh, so that’s why you went all ballistic on me the other month. I’ll have you know it took nine days to get rid of the bruising.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I snarled, voice dripping with sarcasm.
Chris’ eyes flickered behind me, “Jared… come on, let’s get out of here. I’m sorry for letting Marl suck me off, I should never have done that, but surely after this fucker beat me to hell, I’ve been punished enough?”
When the kid didn’t budge, one of the blonde’s eyebrows rose up, “You really that much of a pussy?”
“Fuck off, Kane!” I yelled.
He ignored me, “So you hiding behind the man now, huh?”
“Chris, just… just leave…” Jared mumbled.
A scowl formed on the older man’s face and he took a step forwards. This triggered something primal within me and I stormed up to him, shoving him backwards. “Get the fuck out of here, you bastard!”
But Chris was ready for it this time. His fist lashed out, smashing into my jaw before I even saw it coming. I staggered back, but before I could fall to the ground I was caught against Jared’s solid chest.
Jared carefully set me on my feet, checking me briefly before moving towards Chris. “Chris, why are you even here?”
“To find out why my boyfriend has been avoiding me!” Chris yelled.
This had anger surging up, and I yanked Jared backwards, growling at Kane, “He’s not your fucking boyfriend!”
Fury rippled across the man’s face and he nodded, “Oh, I get it now. So, Jared… all the times you told me there was nothing more than friendship between you two, you were lying? Filthy whore, I bet you just spread your legs for him whenever he feels like it, don’t you?”
Small trembles began to wrack through Jared’s body and I clutched him closer.
“Fuck you, Kane. You’re the one who cheated on him, you’re the one who hurt him… Jay’s done nothing wrong.”
But the bastard hadn’t finished, “No wonder everyone leaves him.”
“Get the fuck out of here or I’m calling the cops,” I snarled.
“Oh, yeah? To tell them what? That your precious boyfriend can’t even deal with sex like a man?”
“Alright, that’s it.” I darted towards the small panic-button on the wall, pressing it hard before Chris could even realise what I was doing.
A shrill alarm sounded off and for the first time tonight a flicker of uncertainty passed across the musician's features.
Jared pulled out of my arms, leaving the room in silence.
“I don’t get how I never realised you were such an asshole,” I muttered, “I mean, I knew you never had a partner for long, but I thought it was just because you hated commitment. Now it turns out it’s because you don’t have a clue as to how you’re supposed to treat someone in bed. Sex should be precious not painful for either party.”
Some of the fight seeped from Chris’ body and he sagged against the wall, his head hanging slightly. “Everyone always says that… It’s not true…”
“How the hell would you know?” I spat out, “I bet you never let anyone fuck you.”
His eyes flashed but he remained silent.
It was only when the squad car pulled up and two police officers got out that he finally looked up, “Remember my ‘Uncle Robby’? The guy I told you was the reason I left home?”
I nodded slowly, unsure where this was going.
“Well… he was…” Chris lets out a huff of air, “Anyway…guess I got a night in a cell to look forward to, huh?”
My mind was still reeling as I spoke to the officers. They handcuffed Chris and led him down to the car. As he sat on the bonnet waiting while they filled in some forms, he looked up at me.
“Stay away from Jared,” was all I could think of to say. “Get help.”
When I returned indoors, the anger inside of me had been replaced with sadness. But despite the new level of empathy, I still couldn’t bring myself to forgive the man.
I stepped into the bedroom to find Jared standing before the window, staring out, and I moved up behind him, fitting my hands in the grooves at his waist.
“I love you,” I whispered, breathing in his soothing scent and trying not to break down.
He turned in my arms, closing the distance between us and pressing his lips against mine in a gentle kiss. With my palm splayed across his cheek, I tilted his head for a better angle, licking my way into his mouth and deepening the kiss.
My other hand slid up and under his shirt, moving over his warm muscles and digging in slightly. As I pulled away, he let out a soft, mewling sound, chasing after my lips and making me laugh softly.
I pitied Chris. There, right in that moment, with Jared gorgeous and trusting in my arms, I couldn’t imagine not wanting to worship and love the kid. The thought of hurting him, of seeing him cry out in pain, it shredded my heart into pieces. I had heard of the cycle of abuse before, in which children who were previously abused turn into abusers, but I’d never actually imagined it touching in on my life.
I met Chris about a year before Supernatural started, and I never noticed anything that hinted at his past. Sure, he was angry often, and when he got defensive he was downright scary, but I just put it down to him and alcohol and the LA life. He never spoke much about his childhood home, only that after his father had died and his uncle moved in, he’d decided he was going to leave. All he said was that him and his uncle didn’t get along.
And I knew for certain that Steve had no clue either.
It made me absolutely furious, because I just wanted to hate him and kick him out of my life for hurting Jared. But instead of plain black and white, Chris was in the grey area. He was at fault, definitely, but he had an excuse. I felt like smashing my fist repeatedly into a wall, but Jared was a more than capable distraction.
Backing him towards the bed, I carefully laid him down and crawled up his lengthy body, nudging my way between his legs. I pinned his hands above his head and rolled my hips against his, teasing out a low groan.
My lips attacked his, sucking at his tongue and deepening the kiss until oxygen became an issue.
I pulled back enough to tug his shirt up and off, tossing it to the floor and doing the same to mine. He arched up against me, desperately trying to get more friction, which I gladly provided, thrusting up hard.
“Jay… fuck… can I… need you, baby… let me… let me?” I babbled, my hands skimming over him, trying to touch everywhere at once. The desperate desire to show Jared how good it could be fuelled me on, and I kept begging until he finally nodded.
It was clear from the swirling emotion in his eyes just how terrified he was feeling as he let me strip him of his pants.
“So perfect, kid… Gonna make you come so hard you see stars… Gonna show you everything…”
His trembling hand stroked up my spine as he nodded again, “Anything, Jense…”
“I need you to relax for me,” I breathed against his cheek. “Just relax and let me…”
I wriggled out of my jeans and resumed the make-out session with vigour. “Can you feel what you do to me?” I moaned softly, grinding my dick against his, “You’re so hot, Jay…So goddamn hot, you have no idea…”
As I thrust against him, the head of my cock grazed over his rim and we simultaneously whimpered. “You want me in you, baby? Want me to fill you up ‘til you can’t take any more? Want to know how it feels to have me inside of you, Jay?” Jared just turned his head to the side, burying his face in his arm. I nudged it away, my lips finding his mouth again. “Tell me, Jare… tell me what you want…”
“You, Jen,” he sobbed softly, “Only you… Please… please, Jens…” his hips tilted up, exposing him further, and I stifled my groan against his cheek.
Pulling away, even for the brief second, was torture. Grabbing the condom and lube from the beside-cabinet, I scrambled back up his naked form, grinning at the wanton debauchery beneath me.
After shoving a pillow under his hips, I bent his legs, leaving him completely exposed. He flushed a deep shade of red and looked away, biting his lip in embarrassment. Running my hands over his trembling thighs, I tried to soothe him as much as possible before fitting myself between his legs. I kissed my way up his chest, nipping and scraping my teeth over his nipples, smiling at the hitching reaction it got me. “Please, Jens…” he whimpered, his knees squeezing tightly at my waist.
“Shhh, baby… I’ll get you there… I’ll get you there…”
Flipping open the cap of the lube, I liberally poured some over my fingers, rubbing them together until the lube was at body temperature, then I slowly lowered my hand down to his ass. I began peppering soft kisses and murmuring gently to the kid as I traced my index finger over his hole, teasing the tip in and out slowly.
“Jens… what are you… what are you doin’?” he squirmed around, clenching and unclenching in uncertainty. It was clear that he was expecting me just to lube up and thrust right in, but I took my time, gently opening him up while distracting him with kisses.
When I crooked my finger against his prostate, Jared’s body clamped around my finger as he let out a sharp gasp, his eyes widening as they searched mine. Grinning with delight, I began massaging over the tiny knob, sneakily working in another finger while he was distracted.
“How’re you doing, Jare?” I whispered, splaying my fingers over his fluttering abdomen.
He just let out a low keening sound and his hips undulated up against me.
By the time I had three fingers inside, we were both panting, sweaty and so turned on it hurt. I carefully pulled my fingers out and smiled up at him, “You ready, baby?”
His heels dug into my ass, pulling me closer, and that was all the permission I needed. My hands were shaking as I tore open the tiny packet and pulled the condom out, and it took me a few tries to slide it on. Shifting up, I gently cradled his cheek in my palm, gazing down into his beautiful eyes and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.
Then I reached down, aligning my dick with his hole, maintaining eye contact with him as I slowly began to press inside. “Just relax for me…”
He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, biting down on it as his legs tightened around me. I didn’t slow until I was buried balls deep within him. Brushing the sweaty bangs from his eyes, I gently kissed the tension from his face. “Tell me you’re okay?”
The smile he broke out into was the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen, and he squirmed beneath me, his hole squeezing and relaxing around me. “You’re inside of me,” he whispered, awe filling his voice.
His hole clamped around me again and I couldn’t hold back the groan. “Argh… Jay… don’t… ahh… don’t do that… else… else this’ll be over way sooner than I’d like…”
“What?” he replied innocently, “This?” He tensed his muscles again and I couldn’t take it. I thrust hard into him, making him cry out softly in surprise. “Oh… god… Jen…” he moaned, “Do that… oh…god…” his head fell back against the pillows as I began thrusting in earnest, ramming up against his prostate as often as I could.
I had never felt anything so good. He was hot and slick around me, pulling me in deeper than I’d ever imagined possible, and my movements got harder; pulling out until only the head of my dick was submerged, then slamming in so deep I shifted him up the bed. Every hitched sob that escaped his lips sent another spike of arousal racing through me. My hands drew him into a kiss, my tongue fucking into his mouth, claiming every part of him as mine.
Whimpering and cursing, Jared wrapped his limbs around me tightly, drawing me impossible closer, deeper, until there wasn’t a single inch of space between us. His fingers clawed into my back, blunt nails digging in as his body arched up against me, meeting every one of my thrusts head on. His dick was pinned between us, hot and hard, and I reached down, fisting it and jacking him off. It was messy and uncoordinated, but it wasn’t long before his orgasm hit him, making him come with a scream, and his body clamped around me, pushing me over the edge.
I kept thrusting my softening dick into him, again and again until all the energy seeped out and I sagged down on top of him, burying my face in his neck.
Our breathing was harsh and exhausted, but I’d never felt more sated in my life. Raising my head to check on him, I was met with a sleepy, satisfied smile, and he pressed his lips against mine. “That was… that… fuck… Jensen….I’ve never felt like that before… Never even came close…”
Still grinning, I staggered to the bathroom to grab a damp towel. Gently cleaning him off, I smiled at his sharp intake of breathe when I brushed over his used hole. He flushed and ducked his head, making me wonder how I ever got so lucky as to have him as my own.
When I slipped back into bed and drew him into my arms, my one hand curled in his messy hair while the other splayed possessively over his tight ass, pressing him to me. He just let out a soft, happy sound and cuddled closer. Fisting his hair, I tilted his head up gently, gazing down at him. “Jay... promise me you’re mine…”
A dimpled grin formed and I couldn’t stop myself from kissing the tiny mole beside his nose as the kid mumbled, “Yours…”
♥
To this day, I still haven’t forgiven Chris. Jared has, Jared forgave him the second Chris apologised and explained, but I don’t have the strength to do so. Every time I think of how Chris hurt Jared, a wave of anger surges inside of me and I have to forcible refrain myself from tearing him to pieces. But Chris has been attending a group-psychologist who specialises in these situations, and he seems to be gentler now, less likely to blow a gasket.
I still never leave him alone with my boyfriend, but as far as life goes, things are good.
♥
