Dance with me!verse
On Jared's prom night, a famous dancer visits their school. From that moment on, Jared's life is changed forever. Will Jared's determination to put his sister and ill mother before everything else prevent him and Jensen from having something more? When Jared opened his eyes to find Jensen smiling softly at him, he blushed, realizing just how close they actually were. Jensen’s lips were barely a breath away from his own and he could feel every soft puff of air against his skin.
NC-17, angst, h/c, hurt!Jared, protective!Jensen, dancer!Jensen, schmoop
♥
GRADUATION
“Jared…. Jared!”
Sandy’s tiny hand waved frantically before his face, and he jerked, “Whuh?”
Plopping herself on his lap, she scrutinized him with serious eyes. “What’s wrong? You’ve been moping all day.”
He opened his mouth to deny that, but Sandy knew him too well. With a sigh, he replied, “Sorry, I just…” he trailed off, staring aimlessly at the distance.
“It’s the dancer, isn’t it?” her quiet voice asked.
“How do you-”
“- We’re not stupid, Jay. You were hyper-happy for days after the dance. I know it wasn’t just because of the kiss.”
“It was a pretty good kiss.”
She smirked, “I’ll bet. I saw that hickey, it looked… fiery…. But I know it wasn’t just the kiss. He said something, didn’t he?”
All the resistance seeped out of him and he nodded, “Yeah…”
Sandy remained silent, giving him time.
“He said… he’d be there tomorrow.”
A squeal erupted from her lips, “Jay, wow! That’s so fucking awesome. For one kiss? You must be one hell of a kisser. He wants to see you again. Oh, my GOD. My best friend’s dating Jensen Ackles!”
“Sandy, keep it down! Just relax. Jeez! Sandy, calm down!”
She paused mid-squeal and frowned at him, “What’s up with you, why aren’t you...?” she waved her hand at her excited self.
Nudging her off his lap, Jared got to his feet with a sigh, “Firstly, ‘cause I’m not a girl. Secondly, ‘cause he won’t even show. And thirdly, ‘cause even if he does show, he’ll realize just how lame I am or how screwed up my life is and then he’ll be running for the hills, back to his perfect, dancing world with hot guys just like him who aren’t anywhere near as screwed up as me.”
She swayed back, her eyes widening, “Wow, you’ve really thought about this, haven’t you?”
Running his hand roughly through his hair, Jared turned away, “Sorry, I’m not the best company right now.”
Her hand slipped into his as she fell into step beside him. “Whatever happens, it’ll be okay, I know it.”
Turning his head to peer down at her, Jared shot her a small but sincere smile, grateful for her positive attitude. “Thanks, Sands.”
♥
Jared’s throat was impossibly dry, despite the water he sipped not long ago, his feelings a weird combination of fear, elation, happiness, sadness. How that was even possible, he had no clue.
His mom and Meg were already seated, and he was feeling pretty ridiculous in the cap and gown. Around him, the class was a buzz of excitement, everyone dressed identically (despite Danneel’s long argument of the gowns being ‘unflattering’), and the stage had a line of trophies laid out on the table before the principal and staff.
He hadn’t been able to muster up the courage to scan the crowd. He wasn’t sure if he even wanted to know. Instead he threw himself into a conversation with his friends, arguing the pros and cons of flashing the audience.
Finally the microphone shrieked and the principal announced the start of the ceremony. It was pretty boring actually. But it signified the end of their school-life, so each round of applause was a loud as the first.
Jared joined the whooping when his friends were called up, and then finally: “Jared Padalecki.”
His legs were slightly wobbly as he made his way up, nearly tripping on the stairs. He was pretty sure his hands were sweaty as he shook the teacher's and received his certificate and, to his absolute shock, the school trophy, but he was more concerned about the next part.
Stepping onto the podium to wait for his photo to be taken, he was in full view of everyone, which also meant that he could scan the crowd. He grinned as his eyes met his bouncing sister’s and he spotted his mom wiping her eyes with a wide smile on her face. But there was no other face in the crowd.
The light flashed and he stepped back, heading down the stairs, ignoring the cold, ‘I told you so’, clenching in his stomach. Just as his foot touched ground, an arm grabbed him and pulled him behind and beneath the stage, “Wha-”
Soft lips covered his and his question died as he sunk into the kiss, his awards tumbling unnoticed to the floor. The warm body pressed him back, further into the darkness and he went willingly. Cupping the strong jaw, Jared gave as good as he got, sucking softly at the warm tongue and pressing closer to the man.
“You came,” he whispered against the plush lips and they pulled into a smile, then he squeaked as his bottom lip was nipped.
The man gently lowered them to the ground, crawling up Jared’s body to straddle his thighs and suck at his neck.
“Couldn’t stay away. You’re amazing, you know that? And don’t think I didn’t hear all that about the school trophy: ‘dignified, intelligent, polite, a remarkable sportsman, with amazing integrity and honesty despite any and all hardships thrown his way, Jared fully deserves this award, and we at Westgrove with miss his constant care and kindness towards everyone around him.’”
“Shut up,” Jared muttered softly, turning his head away to hide his blush.
“And you’re absolutely gorgeous.” The man muffled Jared’s scoff with another kiss. “And you’re mine.”
Shutting his eyes at the fond memory, Jared smiled, “Yours.”
Soft fingers ran up his neck and jaw, brushing over his lips, “God, I want to see you smile so badly.”
“Then why are we lying in the dark, probably directly beneath the teachers, while everyone else is out there?”
There was a low chuckle, “Because I wanted to see – okay, I guess I can’t see you, but I wanted to be with you and I couldn’t wait that long.”
“Impatient bastard.”
He got his lower lip chewed for that, but he didn’t complain because a soothing tongue soon chased the burn away.
“We should really get you back out there, your friends will be wondering where you are.”
Jared let out a groan and thumped his head back on the floor, “Yeah, you’re right.”
“Meet me in the parking lot afterwards? I’ll be waiting in a black Chevy Impala.”
He bit his lip before asking, “You don’t want to stay?”
Soft hands ran gently through his hair, “I do, trust me, I do. But I don’t want to get recognized. It could be bad for you.”
The fact that he said it would be bad for Jared instead of bad for himself was not lost on the younger man, and he fisted Jensen’s shirt, yanking the dancer’s lips down against his.
“I’ll see you in the parking lot.”
Just as he stood to go, Jensen called softly, “Hey, Jay?”
He turned as the hand pulled him back against a solid body, “Yeah?”
A tender kiss brushed over his lips, “Happy graduation.”
♥
He hadn’t even seen Jensen properly earlier, so he had no idea whether his memories of the green-eyed man were just part of his imagination. There was no way a man could look that beautiful, right?
The car was easy to spot, outshining all the more modern cars easily. When he got near enough to see the occupant, he nearly turned tail and ran. The man was even more gorgeous than Jared gave him due: strong jaw line, high cheekbones, perfect lips, and eyes like emerald that met Jared’s warmly.
With the insecurity rushing back, Jared was about ready to bolt. What could a man like that ever want with someone like him? What could he possibly have that caught this perfect man’s eye?”
Just as he was making up his mind to run, Jensen stuck his head out of the window and called, “You coming or what?”
“Oh… I’m….”
Then with absolutely no instructions from his brain, Jared’s feet somehow managed to carry him towards the car. Sliding in, he gave Jensen a nervous smile. “Hey.”
Jensen’s smile was incredibly gentle, as if he knew exactly what Jared had been about to do, “You ready to get out of here?”
He wasn’t lying when he nodded, “Yeah.”
♥
♥
“So, uh, any big dances coming up?” God, that’s so lame, Padalecki, he berated himself in his head.
Jensen grinned knowingly as Jared mentally kicked himself, “Nah, not for a few months.”
“Oh, okay,” Jared went back to staring out the window. Then something occurred to him, “Hey, where are we going?”
“To my evil lair where I’m going to suck out all your blood,” Jensen deadpanned.
“Uh…”
Jensen burst out laughing, “Relax, man, the Maynardville Carnival, you heard of it?”
Nodding enthusiastically, Jared gushed, “Yeah, I went to it when I was a kid.”
“Well, I decided we were going a bit fast, so I thought we should try this out properly, you know? Do the whole dating thing.”
Jared let out a snort of laughter, “Wait a minute, you want to date me?” His tone was as incredulous as it could get.
Shifting in his seat, Jensen looked uncertain for the first time since Jared met him, and he shrugged, “Well, I mean, I know we never really spoke about it and I am a bit older, so you might not want to be with me, but I thought... thought we could give it a shot.”
Staring at the dancer in disbelief, Jared had no clue what to say as Jensen continued his babbling.
Finally regaining the use of his tongue, Jared murmured slowly, “Jensen. I meant you as in: Jensen Ackles, world famous, heartthrob dancer, want to date me: dorky schoolkid who’s just graduated?”
Jensen’s frown lifted and he grinned, “Dude, you just called yourself dorky…and wait… did you just call me a heartthrob?”
“Shuddup,” Jared mumbled, his cheeks flaming.
♥
“You can get some if you want?” came a voice from his left.
Ducking his head to hide his blush, Jared quickly shook his head. “Oh, no, no it’s fine, really.”
A soft touch on his arm had his eyes darting up towards Jensen’s face, where he was met with a small smirk and sparkling eyes, “Yeah, I’d believe that if you hadn’t been eying it like a starved man. Come on, let’s get some.”
Face steaming red, Jared couldn’t only allow Jensen to drag him towards the sugary fluff.
While the dancer ordered them one each, Jared fished out his weathered wallet, calculating in his head how much he could afford. Deciding he’d have to skip lunch the following day, he handed over a rumpled note. But it was intercepted by warm hand covering his and squeezing slightly, “Today’s on me.”
Opening his mouth to refuse, Jared’s made the mistake of turning towards the older man, placing his lips inches away from Jensen’s. By the time he managed to drag his eyes away, Jensen was grinning triumphantly and holding up two cones of candyfloss. With a sigh and a little smile, Jared gave in and reached out for a pack, “Thank you.”
Placing the pink candy in Jared’s hand with a flourish, Jensen grinned happily, “What kind of a date would I be if I made you pay for yourself?”
Despite the next cursed blush rising, Jared attempted a glare, “Dude, I’m not a girl.”
A knowing smirk spread across Jensen’s lips as his eyes slipped down the length of Jared’s body. “Oh, believe me, I know.” Leaning in slightly, his lips brushing over Jared’s ear, Jensen murmured seductively, “And for the record, you’re adorable when you pout.”
His entire face was on fire when Jensen pulled away smugly, and he grumbled, “I’m not pouting!”
“Oh, yes you are. You’re blushing too.”
“Am not!”
Pressing soft lips against his, Jensen silenced him easily. “Are too,” he murmured against Jared’s lips.
Too shell-shocked to think up a good retort, Jared blinked blankly at the infuriatingly smug man, “Uh…”
The sight of Jensen beginning to dig in had Jared snapping back to his own. God, candyfloss. When he looked up next, it was to find that Jensen was steering him away from the crowd, towards a secluded bench near the side.
Sitting beside the man, Jared wasn’t exactly sure what to do. He’d been on dates, sure. Well, okay fine, one date, and that had been a total disaster, seeing as how the call had come through from the hospital about his mom’s accident. Since then, dating had been a non-existent part of his life. Until now.
The worst part of it was how at ease Jensen seemed to be, lounging back comfortably like he was posing for a photoshoot, a small, secret smile tugging at his lips, his closed eyes fanning his eyelashes against his cheeks, and his head tilted back slightly, soaking up the sunlight.
He’s perfect. Jared peered down at his sticky, pink-coated fingers and felt his spirit sink even further, knowing his face was probably smeared as well. He didn’t belong here, beside someone so far out of his league. There should have been someone else, someone effortlessly perfect just like Jensen, in his place. Someone who didn’t have his baggage, who knew what famous people liked to talk about, who wasn’t a freakishly-tall dork, and was someone who belonged in Jensen’s world. Basically, someone who wasn’t Jared.
Staring at his clenching fist, Jared watched the scars over his knuckles shift and stretch. Suddenly a strong hand wrapped around his wrist and dragged it towards the other man. “What happened here?” concerned eyes asked.
Pulling his hand back hastily, Jared shrugged nonchalantly, “Nothing, I was just stupid.”
When Jensen continued to stare at his scars, Jared quickly shoved them into his pockets. There was no way he could tell Jensen the truth about what made him punch the wall over and over again until red was coating the wall.
Piercing green eyes latched onto his and he was unable to hold the gaze, turning to watch the laughing groups pass by and silently begging Jensen to drop it.
He jumped when Jensen’s fingers brushed lightly over his cheeks and a voice murmured softly, sadly, “Okay.”
Wondering why Jensen sounded so upset, Jared quickly turn toward him, an apology on his lips, “Sorry, I just…”
“Jared, you don’t have to tell me anything. How was your candyfloss?”
Confused by the sudden change in conversation, Jared pulled out his sugary hands again, cringing with humiliation and only managing a weak reply of, “Sticky?”
Jensen’s laughter warmed the little ice-patch that had been growing in his chest, and he grinned at the older man, causing the green eyes to soften and dart towards his lips. Squirming under the roaming eyes, Jared tried to wipe away the sticky mess around his mouth, freezing when Jensen’s hand reached out to thumb at his bottom lip. Sucking the finger into his own mouth, Jensen grinned devilishly, “You missed a bit.”
“Uhm…” Not quite sure how to respond, Jared ducked his head to hide the pink tinge that bloomed at the obscene sight of those plush lips sucking Jensen’s finger. When he peered up through his bangs, it was to see Jensen gazing intently at him, like he was trying to figure something out.
At Jared’s raised eyebrow, Jensen merely smiled, got to his feet and tugged Jared towards one of the rides. Jared laughed aloud when he saw which one it was. “Chuckaboo Train? Seriously?”
Brilliant teeth flashed at him as he was pulled into a seat, pressed tightly up against Jensen’s side, which, upon further thought, could have been the whole point.
Jared couldn’t stop laughing, everything from the kids screaming further ahead to the adults rolling their eyes from the sidelines, even the music, was absolutely hilarious, and by the end Jensen had to drag him out of his seat, a small smile tugging at the dancer’s lips throughout.
His dour mood all but gone, Jared allowed himself to be led toward the Ferris Wheel, where he clamoured into one of the booths and shifted over to make room for Jensen. It wasn’t cramped but Jared could feel every shift, every breath of the other man. It made his clothes feel itchy and too tight, his hands tingle and a flush rise to his cheeks as he met the smoky gaze of the enticing green eyes.
He knew what was coming and, to be honest, he’d probably be disappointed if it didn’t. Sure enough, the moment the booth had lifted off ground, Jensen was sliding closer, his fingers running delicately over Jared’s cheek and his other hand sliding behind Jared’s back, curling in the soft hair at the nape of his neck. Jared shifted closer willingly, turning his body towards the dancer and fisted Jensen’s shirt, pulling him closer.
Leaning in, Jared was pliable under the deft fingers, letting them angle his head up to meet Jensen’s lips, and he breathed out a soft sigh.
Eagerly responding to Jared’s parted lips, the dancer’s gently questing tongue slipped inside, drawing a gasp and causing Jared’s eyes to widen comically. Nipping along his jaw and sucking at his bottom lip, Jensen had the younger man clutching desperately at his back, searching for purchase of some kind, overwhelmed by the overload of his senses.
“Oh, God…” he gasped breathlessly, sliding his hands down Jensen‘s back.
The dancer smiled toothily, “You can call me Jensen.”
That drew a surprised huff of laughter, and Jared relaxed slightly, thumping his hand against Jensen’s chest with a fake scowl. “Jerk. Oh, Go- Jen…”
Jensen’s lips peeled into a grin from where he’d just given Jared another hickey. “Gonna mark you as mine,” he breathed, brushing his lips over Jared’s skin, “Gonna let everyone know who you belong to.”
“What happened to taking it slow?” Jared gasped breathlessly, a small smirk edging onto his lips.
It was soon wiped away when Jensen’s fingers slipped up beneath his shirt, roaming teasingly over his fluttering abdomen and up to flick over his nipples. Jensen ducked his head under the shirt, his tongue licking a trail down Jared’s chest. When his warm mouth slid over a nipple, Jared let out a soft whimper, pressing Jensen’s head down, pleadingly urging him on.
Jensen’s hand splayed lightly over his navel, possessive waves being emitted with every move the dancer made. The plush lips found their way back to Jared’s and he opened easily, sucking and gnawing at Jensen’s bottom lip.
The gentle swaying of their seating had their whereabouts slamming back to Jared, and he pulled back slightly, grinning at the low growl of the other man. Reaching out to thumb over raw-kissed lips, Jared flushed at the hunger in the lust-blown eyes and was once again hit with confusion as to how it could possibly be him that had Jensen like this.
Something must have shown in his face because Jensen immediately pulled back, concern clouding his features, “You okay? Jared?”
“Yes. No. Yes, I’m fine,” Jared shook his head, hating his grim mood with a passion. Trust him to have insecurities that spoiled the hottest moment he was ever likely to have in his meagre lifetime.
Obviously Jensen didn’t believe him, but after a moment his green eyes softened and he reached out. Gripping Jared’s shoulder, he twisted them around until he had Jared pressed back against his chest, his one hand splayed over Jared’s heart while his other gently kneaded at Jared’s shoulder.
As the talented fingers slowed their massage, the tension seeped out of Jared and he slumped back against the firm chest. It was so nice just to be held, just to have someone other than him providing the comfort for a change. Up till then, he hadn’t even known how much he needed this.
He was used to being the one people leaned on, the one who had to put up a tough front and take on everything.
“This is nice,” he murmured softly.
Jensen hummed against his neck, his warm breath tickling Jared’s nape as he breathed out a sigh. On the ground far below them, the people rushed around like little ants, scurrying this way and that, the sounds of their laughter drifting all the way up. Pointing to one of the distant buildings dotting the horizon, Jared found himself confessing, “When I was a kid, all I ever wanted to do was to get into there…”
He felt the press of Jensen’s chin on his shoulder as the older man followed his finger. “The Tower of the Americas?”
Nodding slightly, Jared leaned further back into the solid warmth at his back and allowed his eyes to slide closed, “Yeah, my dad-” he cut off, tensing as he chastised himself for being so stupid.
“Your dad?” Jensen nudged gently.
Jared shrugged in an attempt to cover up how shaky he was suddenly feeling, “Nothing, never mind.”
When he had been nearing his twelfth birthday, Jared had begged his dad to take them there for his birthday dinner. It had always been an attraction to him, something about being an observer of humanity had him gazing up every time he passed beneath the building. Even at that age, the architecture had fascinated him and he’d researched everything about how it’d been built, even going so far as to recreate a miniature out of Lego.
The dinner had never happened.
Realising that he had been unconsciously pulling Jensen’s arms tighter around him, he flushed and relaxed his hold, “Sorry.”
The embrace only tightened further and Jensen’s lips pressed softly at the delicate skin just beneath Jared’s earlobe, “It’s okay.”
A shrill whistle sounded out nearby, causing Jared to jump slightly and snap back into reality, realising that their Ferris cabin was heading down.
♥
♥
“So, what are you planning on doing now that you’ve graduated?” Jensen asked over his smoothie.
Dropping his gaze to the tablecloth, Jared flushed for what must have been the billionth time that day. “I… well, I’ve got a place at uhm…UTSA. I, uh… scholarship…” he mumbled, hoping to God that Jensen hadn’t caught that. “But I don’t think I’m going to be able to take it. For… for now
I’ve got a job at a body shop. Working as a mechanic.”
He slowly raised his eyes to meet the green, and prayed the ground would open up beneath his feet and allow him to sink out of sight. Unfortunately, no such thing happened, so he was left to shift uncomfortably under the all-seeing gaze of the dancer
Clearing his throat, he tried desperately to move the focus away from himself, “How about you, what dancing style do you specialise in?”
He immediately felt like bashing his head down against the table, because, honestly, why would a famous dancer want to talk about his passion to a mere school kid? The fact that he’d just graduated didn’t make much difference in Jared’s mind.
Jensen smiled around his straw, “Latin dancing.”
“Oh, wow… is that…?” Jared had absolutely no clue what that was but he wasn’t about to admit it.
A full-on grin met him and he flushed yet again, cursing Sandy for being right about his complete lack of ability to hide his emotions.
“Have you watched Dancing with fire? They have some Latin dancing in there.”
Trying to picture Jensen in sleek black pants and a tight shirt open at the chest, Jared found he could see it all too well, his face going bright red. “Oh, cool. You enjoy it?”
Jensen blinked at him, obviously surprised at the question. A few seconds later, he nodded with a warm smile, “Yeah, I really do.”
Smiling back at the older man’s happiness, Jared murmured softly, “Tell me about it.”
It took a few moments, but then Jensen began talking about how he had started, how he’d begged his parents to get him lessons, how eventually they’d realised he was serious and got him proper training and how much he loved being free of everything, focusing simply on moving to the music. Jared just nodded, taking in the way the dancer’s face lit up and his eyes sparkled as he went on about something he clearly loved. Despite knowing absolutely nothing about dancing, Jared found himself hanging onto Jensen’s every word, desperately trying to learn as much as he could about the perfection before him.
“Sorry, sir. We’re closing now,” came a voice from their right.
“Hmmm?” Jensen’s attempt to explain the differences between a Mambo and a Rumba broke off.
“Sir, the restaurant shut fifteen minutes ago, I’m afraid we have to ask you to leave.”
Jensen glanced at his watch, his eyes widening. “Shit, is that the time?” He looked up guiltily at Jared, “Sorry, man, I must’ve bored the hell out of you.”
Shaking his head, Jared got to his feet grinning, “No sweat. Wait till my sister hears that I know how a salsa begins, she’ll go crazy.”
Returning the grin, Jensen tossed some notes down on the table and turned to follow Jared to the exit, both nodding to the waitress on their way out. “Is she into dancing?”
“She’s absolutely in love with it, in fact, she probably knows everything there is to know about you.”
Jensen’s grin widened, “As opposed to her brother who knows absolutely nothing, not even what style of dancing I do?”
Dropping his gaze to the floor, feeling like the idiot he was, Jared mumbled a soft apology.
Anyone else in his class, if Jensen had picked them, would probably have been able to recite his biography backwards, would have known what dance competitions he’d attended and won, what medals, what shows, everything right down to what his favourite food was. Jared had never been one to track celebrities, not only because he never had time and wasn’t at all interested in what Paris Hilton did to her hair, but also because he never had the money to buy magazines or attend the events. Yet again he found himself wondering why the hell Jensen had chosen him.
Firm hands took hold of his face and he was pulled in for a fierce, brutal kiss that stole his air and left him gasping, staring after Jensen.
The older man turned back with a smile tugging at his lips, “You gonna stand there all day or what?”
♥
Jared stared up at the posters, wondering whether that was a trick question and trying to figure out what movie a dancer would want to see. He hadn’t been to the cinema in years so he had absolutely no idea what was good.
One poster had a group of weird people dressed in equally weird outfits. “Superhero Movie…” he read quietly.
“You want to watch that?” Jensen asked from behind his shoulder.
With a shrug, Jared nodded, “Sure, it looks… entertaining.”
Jensen chuckled, his hand lightly landing on Jared’s shoulder as they turned towards the ticket line, it stayed there and moving away didn’t even cross Jared’s mind.
“Did you watch any of the Scary Movie series?”
Ignoring the flush on his cheeks, Jared replied softly, “No, I don’t watch movies much.”
Jensen nodded, his eyes fixed elsewhere. Jared followed his gaze to a handsome man, slouched against the wall with his legs stretched comfortably in front of him. Jared’s insides sank, all and any warmth being completely doused with icy water. Obviously Jensen would be looking for someone else, it wasn’t like Jared had proved he was anything worth keeping, not when Jensen could get anyone he wanted with a single glance. The man’s legs fell open and he licked his lips, his eyes still fixed on Jensen.
Lowering his gaze to the ground, Jared pulled away from Jensen’s hand and moved forward in the line, wondering whether he should tell the dancer he wasn’t feeling well, just to give the man an easy way to ditch him.
Just as his lips were parting to tell him exactly that, Jensen stepped into him, pressing their bodies tightly together, his hands sliding down to cup Jared’s ass as his lips moved to smother his gasp. Before his brain could catch up, his body was already sinking into Jensen’s arms, pressing them impossibly closer.
His fingers slid up the hard panes of Jensen’s back to card through the soft hair at the older man’s nape, his breath hitching as Jensen’s hands squeezed his ass tightly in response. When a man behind them cleared his throat, Jensen pulled back slightly, pressing consoling kisses along Jared’s jaw line.
“What was that for?” Jared murmured into the dancer’s shoulder, his mind unable to recall what he’d been about to do before the kiss.
“Just making sure everybody knows your mine,” Jensen smiled, giving his ass another gentle pinch before pulling back and turning to the ticket saleswoman. “Two tickets for Superhero Movie, please. A large popcorn and,” turning to Jared, he asked, “What do you want to drink?”
Still reeling from the kiss, Jared barely manages to gather himself enough to reply, his eyes darting towards the menu, “Oh, uhm, a cherry slush puppy, please.”
“And a coke for me,” Jensen continued.
As they headed towards the entrance of the cinema, Jensen made a show of tugging Jared firmly to his side as they passed the man slouching against the wall. The man glowered at Jensen, who grinned, glanced at Jared’s confused expression and pressed a gentle kiss to his nose.
When they reached their seats, Jared turned to the dancer, “What was that about?”
Smiling around a mouthful of popcorn, Jensen glanced at him, warm eyes sliding over his face like he was the last morsel left.
Without saying anything, Jensen turned back to the screen where the commercials had begun and took a sip of his coke.
Jared had only just managed to regain his senses when the movie started.
♥
Jared snorted slush puppy up and spent the next five minutes clutching his nose. Jensen’s laughter only cut off when Jared sent him a death-glare, followed by puppy eyes which got him a handkerchief in return.
The movie was the kind of rip-off that was funny but really, really politically incorrect, the ‘I-know-it’s-not-funny-but-dammit-I-can’t-stop-laughing’ sort.
Halfway through the movie, Jared realised Jensen was no longer watching and had actually been staring at him for the past who knows-how-many minutes. Self-consciously rubbing at his mouth to make sure he didn’t have popcorn or anything else equally embarrassing stuck to his skin, Jared asked, “Do I have something on my face?”
Jensen leaned forward, making a show of examining Jared closely. “Yes…” he whispered softly, making Jared blush furiously and scrub at his face. “…my eyes.”
Stopping his furious face-clean, Jared stared at the older man for a few seconds before it sunk in, then he burst out laughing, “Oh… God… that is… so… so…”
Grinning smugly, Jensen finished off, “Lame?”
“Well, I was thinking corny, but lame does the trick. If you wanted a kiss you could have just asked.” The moment the words left his lips, Jared was back in the blushing zone, stunned that he’d said that.
The dancer just grinned, closing the distance between them. “And where would be the fun in that?” he murmured against Jared’s cheek.
The movie, the people, everything, seemed to fade out of Jared’s mind as his eyes zeroed in on the green, lust-blown ones. The saltiness on Jensen’s lips mingled with the sweetness on Jared’s, making the older man growl as he sucked Jared‘s bottom lip between his. With a hand on Jared's shoulder and another sliding along his cheek, the dancer pulled him until he was no longer in his own seat but instead straddling Jensen, a knee on either side of the man, all that was keeping him from falling backwards was the firm arm Jensen had wrapped around his waist, fingers splayed possessively over the small of his back.
Running the pads of his fingers gently over the dancer’s delicate features, Jared found himself mesmerized by the perfect cut of strong cheekbones, the fan of shadowed eyelashes, the softness of lips, the warmth in emerald eyes, the lightly spattered freckles that caressed cheeks and gave Jensen an air of innocence. He wanted to burn this moment into his memory forever, just in case he never got this again, just in case, he wanted to make sure he remembered every single thing.
Jensen’s hand slipped up beneath his shirt, sending shivers racing down his spine and he shifted closer until their chests were pressed snugly together, his arms looped around Jensen’s neck. Their lips slid easily, parting to allow tongues to explore and taste. Jared could feel how aroused the other man was, but he was too scared to do anything about it, he had never done this before, never imagined his first real date would be with someone like this: someone perfect.
Suddenly he felt like the inexperienced virgin he was, and his cheeks heated up furiously as he buried his face in the dip of Jensen’s shoulder, hating that he was out of his depths, hating that he didn’t have any idea what he was doing.
Why was he pretending to be someone he’s not? Why was he pretending he belonged here with Jensen when it was so clear he didn’t?
Jensen’s arms were firm, solid, as they slid and caressed over his back, soothing him and bringing him back from the panicked space of mind he’d sunken into. “I’m sorry,” he whispered into the smooth skin of Jensen’s neck, terrified of letting go, afraid of the disappointment he’d see when he pulled back. He felt stupid, pathetic for always ruining the mood, for being so scared all the time.
“Hey, shhh, it’s okay, I’m the one who’s sorry. We’re supposed to be taking this slowly. This is our first date, we shouldn’t even be kissing yet.”
Jared only managed a weak smile but Jensen’s fingers traced the curve of his lips like it was something precious. Sliding back into his own seat, Jared shivered slightly at the loss of warmth but didn’t dare meet the other man’s eyes, staring blankly at the screen instead.
A loud yawn came from beside him and he froze when he felt an arm being draped around his shoulders. Snapping his eyes up to where Jensen was attempting to appear innocent, Jared shook his head in disbelief, “I’m not a chick, dude!“ But he was unable to hide his grin as he used their positions to his advantage and began tickling Jensen furiously. Jensen squirmed and an honest-to-God giggle escaped him, making them both freeze.
“Jen, did you just giggle?” Jared asked gleefully.
Pouting adorably, Jensen shook his head vehemently, “Nope, nuh uh, definitely not, must be the dude behind me.”
Grinning helplessly, Jared leaned across to whisper, “Too bad. I really liked that giggle.”
Jensen paused, his eyes narrowing, “Seriously?”
Leaning back in his chair, fitting the nape of his neck in the crook of Jensen’s arm, Jared settled down comfortably to watch the rest of the movie, “Yup, seriously.”
He grinned when Jensen’s arm looped further around him, draping down on his chest, sneaking a feel.
“Perve.”
“Only for you, babe,” was Jensen’s sleazy reply.
Jared got the feeling that he’d blushed more times that day than in the rest of his life put together.
♥
Jensen leaned against his door and called over the roof of the Impala, “You up for some dinner?”
He was pretty sure his grin was bright enough to set fire alight but he didn’t care, not when he saw a responding grin on Jensen‘s lips.
Sliding onto the leather seat, Jared relaxed back with his eyes closed, the soft scent soothing him. “Where to?”
“I was thinking I’d try give you a home-made meal, what do you think? I make a mean chilli.”
Grinning sleepily, Jared didn’t open his eyes, “Sounds good.”
It was nice being able to relax, being able to drift off without having to strain his ears in case his mom needed something. He’d forgotten it could be this good.
♥
♥
Something soft brushed over his cheek and he scrunched up his nose, tried to roll over, found himself falling a few centimetres before a solid warmth caught him, cradled him to its chest. “Dad?” he asked sleepily, blinking up at the person.
“No, Jay. It’s just me…” murmured a soft voice.
“Oh,” Jared stopped his attempts to see and slumped down for a few seconds.
“Wait… who’s ‘me’?”
The chest huffed, “Your Prince Charming, who else?”
He smiled into the neck, “Jensen...”
Gentle hands eased him back from the chest, “Yup, now help me out here, you weigh a ton.”
Opening his eyes again, Jared blushed when he realised he’d tumbled out of the passenger seat and into the other man’s arms. Getting to his feet he stared up at the house. It was nothing like any of the celebrity homes he’d glimpsed when people in his class were waving them about, all those houses had been flashy, with lots of glass and steel, making them as sleek, polished and expensive as possible. This house had elements from the Pacific Lodge architectural style as well as Adirondack style. The end result was absolutely perfect.
The combination of wood and burnt brick ensured that the walls blended seamlessly into the surrounding landscape, giving the building a rustic appearance. The roof continued the flow of earthy colours, the dark tiling hidden amongst the leafy foliage from which emerged a balcony that must be absolutely heaven to sit upon. It was simple, homey, and Jared’s fingers were already itching for his sketchpad, desperately needing to form the beauty on paper.
“Are you okay?” A voice drew him out of his daze seconds before hands slipped around his waist, pressing him back against the warmth of Jensen’s chest.
“Your house…” Jared cleared his throat, “Your house is every architect’s dream.”
There was silence for a few seconds as Jared continued to feast his eyes upon the design. “Thank you,” was all that Jensen’s husky voice said before he began leading Jared inside.
Jared should have been expecting it, but when Jensen flipped the lights on and he stepped over the threshold, the sight of the homey, comfortable interior had his chest warming and clenching at the same time.
The layout, the style of furniture, the paintings, the lighting, everything, was so aesthetically pleasing that Jared wasn’t entirely sure what to do with himself. It all had the air of being effortlessly perfect, just like its owner, and Jared had no idea how to react.
“Dude, my house ain’t gonna grow teeth and bite you. Get in here.”
♥
“Oh, trust me, I‘m not. This one my dad taught me, he’s always been a better cook than my mom but we’re too afraid to tell her.”
Jared laughed softly, “That’s pretty cool.”
Adding one last bit of spice to the mix, Jensen turned to him, “It’ll be ready in about fifteen minutes, think you can last that long?”
His stomach chose that very moment to grumble noisily and he sighed through his flush, patting his belly fondly, “I guess I’ll have to, won’t I?”
Jensen flopped down on the couch, arms tucked behind his head and it was just far too tempting for Jared to resist. Diving onto the cushion beside the older man, Jared tackled him, fingers mercilessly tickling until they were laughing, rolling around like kids on the floor. Finally he got it: the giggle.
“Yes!” he pumped the air happily, not moving from where he was straddling the man, both panting and grinning at one another.
The mood shifted suddenly and Jared found himself at the bottom, Jensen’s lips mere millimetres away from his own and getting closer by the second.
They both startled slightly at the sudden ringing noise and it took Jared a few moments before he realised it was coming from his pocket. Panic beginning to stir at the corners of his mind, he rolled Jensen off him and yanked the phone out, already heading for the door. “Meg?”
“Jay,” his chest ached painfully as he realised she was crying, “Jay… she won’t wake up. Momma won’t wake up.”
Shutting the door firmly behind him, cursing himself for being so selfish and leaving them alone for so long, Jared’s quickly replied, “Is she breathing? Meg, check if she’s breathing.” When the reply was in the affirmative, Jared’s heart started again, “Okay, is there a small, blue bottle of pills on the table?” Another affirmative and Jared felt the panic starting to ebb, “Shh, it’s okay, she’s just sleeping. I’ll be there real, real soon, okay? Okay, Meg?”
He hung up and quickly called a taxi. He knew what had happened, it’d happened before, but he still wanted to get home to check everything. He was immensely grateful that Jensen had insisted he didn’t pay for anything today, as he still had enough to get home. He couldn’t ask Jensen, couldn’t expect that of him.
Turning towards the house, Jared saw the man through the window, pottering about in the lit kitchen, his short hair spiked up from their romp on the floor. Feeling his chest close up even more as he mentally chastised himself, Jared wondered why he ever thought he could possibly have this. He felt even worse for having to ditch Jensen before they’d even eaten.
With a sigh, he headed indoors.
“Jensen,” he began as he slipped into the kitchen, “I’m sorry, really sorry, but I have to go. This was a mistake, I shouldn’t have been here, I have to go. I’m…” he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, “I’m sorry, but I’m not the one you’re looking for.”
After a few moments, Jensen’s confused features reformed into concern, “Why, Jay? Did something happen?”
Jared shook his head, turning away from the man, “I’m sorry, Jensen. The cab’ll be here any minute.”
“You called a cab?” Jensen sounded incredulous, “What the hell? You know I’ll give you a lift.’
Hating himself for wanting to keep that small part of his pride, Jared shook his head again. He didn’t want Jensen to know. Not because he was ashamed, nothing like that at all, but because he didn’t want to see the sympathy that was the automatic response to hearing the sob-story of Jared Padalecki. He didn’t want that, because the moment he saw that in someone’s eye, he could never be sure if anything they did for him was actually because they cared or because of their own twisted sense of guilty generosity, subconscious or not.
He pulled the door open and slipped out, shutting it with a soft click. He was relieved to see that the cab was already there. The glow from the cab’s yellow paint and the illumination from the nearby street lamp was nothing compared to the warmth of Jensen’s home, the cosy interior and the warmth of the owner. Jared had never felt colder.
This was probably the last time he’d ever see it, Jared thought gloomily as the car sped off.
♥
About ten minutes later, he arrived home, handed over the few notes he had, which left him with about a dollar left, and headed for the front door. It opened before he even got to the top step and then Meg was on him, burying her head in his shoulder and sobbing, her tiny body shaking and clutching at him. He wrapped his arms firmly around her and lowered himself onto the step, bracketing her between his legs, surrounding her entirely and burying his nose in her hair.“I’m sorry, Meg. I shouldn’t have left you alone. Shhh, it’s okay, Momma’s okay. She’s just sleeping. You know those pills by her table? Well, they make her sleep deeply, right? Yeah, so she took two instead of one tonight. That’s why you couldn’t wake her up.”
Gradually his sister calmed down enough to take in what he was saying and tilted her head towards him, “So she’s not dead?”
Stroking her soft hair gently, Jared pressed his lips firmly to her forehead, “No, Meg, she’s not dead, she’s not dead.”
Jared gazed up at the stars and not for the first time silently asked why.
It wasn’t fair that they’d lost their dad when they were so young; wasn’t fair that their mom got into that accident; wasn’t fair that she’d lost the use of her entire side and got brain damaged; wasn’t fair that there was no one else that they could turn to; wasn’t fair that Jared had to grow up way too quickly, wasn’t fair that he had to look after his family; wasn’t fair that he couldn’t go to university because he has to work so there was enough money to pay for his mom’s medicine and his sister’s schooling, not to mention the fact that he had to be around to look after the two of them; wasn’t fair that he couldn’t go out, couldn’t have fun without the constant weight hanging over him; not fair, none of it was fair.
But that didn’t give him the right to dump responsibilities on Meg, not when he’d promised himself that he’d do everything he could to make sure she had the childhood he missed out on.
He’d been stupid and selfish for leaving her alone with Mom. “I’m sorry, Meg,” he murmured again.
She burrowed in deeper, “Love you, Jay.”
“Love you too.”
Scooping her up in his arms, he carried her inside, pausing to lock the door before heading towards his room. She’d had such a shock today; he knew she’d want to stay near him that night.
Setting her sleepy form down, he smiled as she waited for him to help her into her pyjamas. “Okay, princess.”
It was a game they’d played when she was littler and he’d struggled to convince her to get ready for bed. She’d pretend to be royalty and he’d be her dresser. It was silly but it made her smile and that was worth it.
After carrying the princess to the bathroom to brush her teeth, Jared gently carried her back to his bed, helping her slip beneath the covers. “I’ll just be a sec, okay, Meg?”
“Mmhmm, I free you of your services,” she murmured, twirling her hand in the air to announce the end of the Princess Game.
He headed for his mom’s room, checking her breathing and heart rate before making sure nothing else was wrong, then he carefully pulled the blanket up to tuck it beneath her chin. “I had a good time tonight... Jensen… he… he’s amazing, Momma. I think Dad would have liked him.” He broke off, tears prickling his eyes as he stared down at his beautiful, pale, too-thin Momma. “Yeah... Dad would’ve really liked him.”
After pressing a kiss to her forehead, Jared checked everything over once more before heading back to his room, where he stripped down to boxers and t-shirt, and slipped into the bed beside Meg. She immediately shuffled closer, tucking herself firmly in the protective circle of his arm, and let out a happy sigh. He loved that he could give Meg this security, loved that he could always make her smile, loved that she turned to him for help, but most of all, he loved that she trusted him to always be there for her, and he did his damned best to make sure he always was.
As her breaths evened out, he allowed his thoughts to drift to Jensen and felt his chest clench with sadness, with weariness, and, finally, with resignation.
That wasn’t his life to have. He’d be better off if he just accepted that.
♥
